lost

It has been almost 20 days now and I just really don’t feel like I’m ever going to get my ex back. He is just so stubborn and its going to be so hard. I really have no clue how I will do it. He blocked me on all social media accounts and he even blocked my friend. We are hoping its because he wants to suffocate his feelings.

When the 30 days are over I have no clue what I’m going to even text him because I know I won’t get a text back. I have a bunch of his clothes, so I was thinking to text him and ask when we good time was for him to pick it up and then I would talk to him. The reason we broke up was because he never told me that I wasn’t putting enough effort into the relationship.

I’m afraid that if I ask him to get his clothes then I will never have another chance at trying to build up a relationship with him again. I just need some advice and help. Maybe even people that have gone through this and got their ex back to help too.

Can someone please help me. It’s so hard seeing him happy with all of his friends. I really don’t know at all how I will get him back. I really need advice from other people. Tomorrow it will be my 3rd week since he broke up with me and everyday I feel like he is just slipping away more and more.

Hey there Catherine.

I am currently going through a break up with a stubborn, mentally distraught person and am devastated. I haven’t officially gone through all of the stages to see if I can even get him back yet (only day 3 of no contact) but I feel like I should reply just so you can at least get some advice.

Was there a big falling out to trigger the break up? Did you ACTUALLY feel like YOU weren’t putting in enough effort or is that just what he feels?

I made the mistake of texting mine the day after, asking for my furniture back. He never replied. Probably a mistake on my part.

If you have a housekey, I would just drop the things off on a day where you know he isn’t there. Or if he has a good friend or parent, just drop the things there.

He definitely needs his space. And I know 20 days must be so hard already. But you really have to stay strong.

If he broke up with you because you didn’t put in effort, it is odd that he would be bitter and go about things the way he is. He is probably wanting you to beg for him back and is having no success. But good job for not giving in. I would ride out the 30 days fully and then re-evaluate with some of the advice you have gotten on here about where to go next.

Stay strong.

There wasn’t a big fall out or anything the day before the break up, we actually went on a double date and then he came over and we hung out and everything was fine like usual.

And I do know I didn’t put enough effort in now that I look back on our relationship. I know I can fix that with him but I don’t know of he is willing to come back at all.

I really think that after the 30 days and when I text him for the first time he will just ignore me. I really have no clue what to do.

My honest opinion is to really NOT contact him regarding the clothes. It seems like that may be what he wants you to do.

He is stubborn, and he obviously knows you have the clothes hostage. It is like using that as the barrier for contact.

I would just continue not talking. Let the stubborn one make the move first, and then eventually try the first contact approach.

Its hard I know.

But that’s the thing, I really don’t think he is going to contact me at all. He told a friend he already moved on when it was 2 weeks into the break up. He said to me he wants to be alone and that we won’t get back together.

You need to fight his actions and the fact that he already “moved on” with your own happiness.

I just saw that he unblocked me on Instagram. He is a private account so I can’t see anything, but my account isn’t private. Do you think he might be curious to what is going on in my life?

I’m still blocked on twitter, but he can go to my account and click view tweets, so he doesn’t have to unblock me to see everything.

Its 22 days now and he has blocked me again and my other friend just followed him and then 5 minutes later he blocked her. I’m really confused, I don’t think he will every want to be with me again.

Hey Catherine, i know your a little further along then me and you are doing good just keep on going i know its hard trust me i am struggling and i promise im not asking this to make you feel bad but have you been doing things for you? I noticed you said he blocked you so are you constantly checking?.i just want to make sure that your focusing on yourself too.

I am focusing on myself, he blocked me a long time ago so I never really checked until now when I saw he commented on a friends picture. I just started noticing things 2 days ago when he unblocked me, then blocked me again and blocked my friend. But I never really checked before cause I knew he blocked me so there wasn’t anything to see.

Hey i just wanted to check on you today and see how you were doing with your NC

I’m still doing good, my friend tried to grt me to tell him how I feel and get really pissed at him. She even said to text him and say we needed to meet up and he needed to give me more closure. But he already told me why and doesn’t want to talk to me at all, he made that clear 3 weeks ago.

Plus, I know to text him and say that wouldn’t be very smart.

Ok so i met my exs mom for lunch today because we are really close and she told me something that made me think about you today that i thought could help us both…right now they are both stubborn men who have dumped us and blah blah…but stick out your 30 days go even longer if you feel like if you text him you will get emotional but DONT listen to your friend i feel like that goes against everything you just did…my exs mom said after nc text him. Dont be overly eager but something simple…we need to buid up a friendship again because if we throw ourselves at them it might scare them…but i dont think asking to see him right now to talk about the past is best

Yeah exactly!! Like I thought she was crazy when she told me to do that, then I would have wssted the last 24 days on nothing. I’m just worried that when i do text him after no contact he will ignore me. So I really have no clue what to text him at all ?

Hi Catherine

sorry if i missed this, how long were you going out for?

Almost 9 months

@Kiya92 How was your no contact yesterday? I forgot to ask you that.