Hey guys!
Been quite a while since I’ve posted on here. I remember from my time here that one thing that day missing from these forums is hopeful stories. It seems as though if anyone actually succeeds in getting their ex back they just disappear. With that in mind, I wanted to post here about what happened with me.
I posted my story here a long time ago now. Its very very long and I won’t waste time by rehashing it here, but if you want to read it it’s all here https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/my-story-3/
To fill in the blanks between my last post in my old thread and now , my ex got into a relationship with her flatmate, and I was left out in the cold. After a heated discussion one night at the bus stop, she blocked me on Facebook and I let it be. I did my best to move on and to stop thinking about her, hard as that was with her being so close all the time, and me seeing her with him together every now and again. I didn’t try to talk to her, I tried my very hardest not to think about her, and all in all she was completely absent from my life for about 3 months. Theres no secret to feeling better or moving on, for those of you who are in the midst of a break up or trying to get their ex back, I just focused on feeling comfortable being in my own skin, and when I did that I began to realise I actually had a lot going for me, and that I was going to be okay.
This was the case up to last Friday. Theres nobody else in my life or anything, I know I’m not ready for anyone else and quite honestly I’m pretty happy alone; I don’t think I could give someone my all right now and I’d be afraid I’d just end up going through this all again. No major thing has happened in my life to make my ex come back, I’m simply existing as myself and enjoying it. I’d advise anyone going through something like this to let that be their goal. Miracles will happen when you’ve achieved this.
Last Friday morning, I was asleep in my room when I heard an envelope being slid under my door. Being a university student and getting a chance to sleep, I didn’t really care what it was and just ignored it,expecting it to be some club night flyer or voting sheet or something like that. When I picked it up, it had my name and my room number on it, but nothing else. I groggily realised this meant it had just been sent from someone living in halls as well. I then recognised her handwriting on the envelope, and my first thought was “Oh great, she’s sending something back.” I figured it’d be a bracelet or necklace or something I’d given her, but no, in fact it was a letter.
I won’t write the letter verbatim, it was very long. It basically said that she was still in love with me, had never gotten over me, her heart broke every time she saw my face, and that I was the most beautiful boy she had ever known. She said she was not asking for me back, as she knew I would not take her (this was very obviously bullshit, she wouldn’t have wasted the paper unless she wanted something). I was still half asleep and was so surprised that I just thought “Oh, Ok.” and stumbled off to have a shower. When I got back I read it again, then had somebody else read it. I was actually awake and it was actually real.
I spoke to her a few days later, and the situation is very complicated. She is still with her boyfriend, but feels she was pushed into a relationship with him because she thought I was with someone else per my previous thread and he was quite persistent in pursuing her. She thinks of him more as a good friend, and she says she feels she could never fall in love with him. She has tried to break up with him on multiple occasions since they got together in November, and they’ve been arguing a lot since early December. She most recently attempted to end it with him during our January exams, so a bit more than a week ago, but he begged her not to and she decided to leave it as it was during the middle of exams.
She wants to break up with him, however since posting that letter last week something awful happened, her boyfriend was sexually abused by another person in their flat. He is currently a mess, and she doesn’t feel like she can break up with him at present. She told him before that she wasn’t fully over me and that she had been thinking about me a lot, but as of when we last spoke she hasn’t told him the extent of her feelings, that she wrote me the letter or that we met up to discuss it.
It was very obvious from our encounter that we still click and have incredible chemistry, and it was heavily suggested by both of us that we want each other. However we agreed that the timing was awful. While I would ordinarily have zero patience for her staying with him if she wanted to be with me, in this case I completely understand why she can’t do that to him right now, and I won’t push her to, though I did say the longer she leaves it the more difficult it will be for him. A further complication is that she has to live with him. We left it with her saying she didn’t know how long it would take to sort this mess out, and if I met someone else in the meantime not to hold back. She then broke down and said she was sorry I had to know her.
So not a complete victory then, and I really don’t know what’s going to happen with this. She made it clear she is still in love with me and in that sense I , but I don’t have her back, at least not right now. I’m not sure if I fully trust her or if I’ll be able to let go of her mistakes. I don’t know if I can forgive that she’s been with someone else either, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
I just wanted to share this with you all, because I know how hopeless and alone it can feel to be abandoned by someone you love. It took me a long time but I found it within myself to be okay, and to be happy just being me, and when I did that, she realised she was still in love with me. I’m not saying it’ll happen for everyone, I’m not even saying it’ll happen for me, but the point is that sometimes it is worth believing in even the most hopeless of situations. Do not ever feel like you’re alone, or that there’s no coming back from something, because there will be a time when things fall back in your favour, that is an absolute guarantee, even if your ex is not.
If anyone is interested I’ll update this when or if anything else happens, if not, I’ll just say hang in there, and anyone going through tough times, I wish you all every happiness in the future, one way or another.
