Learn from my mistakes. Don’t go wrong where I did and find out later like I had to.
#1 Don’t do NC for 30 days. 5-7 is good enough to show you’re not needy. Do it for 30 days and your girl will be further along in the moving on process and getting her back will be all the more difficult.
#2 Don’t spend weeks ramping up text conversations. Matter of fact don’t text her at all unless you a. want to get on a call with her or b. want to figure the logistics of a meet with her. Texts will NOT and will NEVER help you rebuild attraction. She must hear or see you.
#3 Get her to meet you asap. If you think she’d be receptive to meeting you then I implore you to make it happen. Don’t dawdle and delay. DO IT ASAP.
#4 If she hints on social media that she might be starting a new relationship, wait a day and initiate contact. Set up a meet. Be confident and show her she has no reason to go any further with the other guy.
and most importantly #5: When you get her to meet you, be it for lunch or whatever, your goal is to get her in bed. That’s where the real feelings and emotions develop. You need to show her ASAP that you’re a man who knows how to drive her wild.
Take this with a grain of salt, every situation is different. If you’re a clingy, soft, emotional guy who can’t handle being the kind of man women want, you won’t get her back. You must do all this with the mindset of a champion. That she’s yours and you don’t have to beg and plead her to be. She will know she’s yours when she sees how effortlessly you reignite feelings and turn her on.
You will get nowhere with passive tactics. You won’t heal in your NC period, and you’ll be heartbroken again if things don’t go your way when you end NC.
I think you’re getting passive confused with patient. I believe part of what you’re saying, but being overtly aggressive too fast isn’t effective either. This all boils down to the reason why you broke up, and why she sees you unfit for a future relationship though.
Your post has some really interesting points. I think NC def does help but the length depends on the relationship and how it ended. Its very important to take into consideration all that that factors that lead up to your break up and then post break up. As far as reaching out to her i find it hard to try to “build” up conversations with that other person when you should just be fully honest and get to the point and set a date as soon as possible if she says she is interested in being friends.
Sure it may get you back together, but not permanently. You will not have changed in 5-7 days, and she will see the same patterns emerging soon after. The fact that she broke up with you already means that the spark is gone, you need to reignite it with proper change. And if you properly changing you can not lose. My ex broke up with me 4 months ago and of course in the beginning I was trying to get her back, did not work. Now I tried no contact, did it work exactly as planned? No, she is in a rebound and it hurts. Did I still win? Yes, I have changed and I am a ton more attractive to other women. I am actually more successful in life due to the changes that I made to my behaviour.
Now of course Kevin is not always right. He is overgeneralising or oversimplifying some, but that is expected with such complex and personal issues. However what he told me, and what I got from the guides, gave me a clear path and goal to work towards. The goal is not getting your ex back, the goal is to improve yourself to such degree that you become irresistible to your ex, or any other woman for that matter. To actually become a better man.