It's hard

This is day 3 after the breakup, and I sent the elephant in the room text addressing that I’ll give her the space she needs, aka NC. Of course it was met with no response, which stings as much as you’d figure, but I know she’s reading and checking social media despite this. We’ve been together for 10 years, going on 11 this year, and we had some trust issues that flared up and resulted in a hurtful break. I acknowledged my wrongs as things were falling apart, but by then it was already too late and she was done with me. I grabbed a small supply of things and had went back to my parents place.

Every day I’m going through the roller coaster, I find myself trying to check up on her without talking to her, but every little thing is a constant heartache and reminder that I messed it all up and broke her from me. I need help with getting through the NC period, and I took up a bodyweight workout routine as a start as of today and posted it on facebook too. Anyone else have any coping mechanisms they employ to stop hurting for the one you want back?

Acknowledging that you broke her trust is a good first step, but you need to understand why and resolve to change your thoughts and pattern. If you broke trust by physically cheating on her with another woman, it would take a very long time for her to forgive you, if ever…

Distract yourself immediately whenever you start thinking about her or dwelling on your mistakes. Spend more time with family and friends. Pick up any interests you have such as a hobby of some kind. Focus on your work life. Go bowling more often or participate in any other activities you enjoy. Maybe even read some self help books.

If you’re stalking her social media, STOP…as it won’t help.

It was never physically cheating, but I will admit it was an emotional misinvestment that left her feeling distrust with me, and I should’ve seen her hurt rather than trying to leverage it with her action (or inaction). Some things are more important than trying to be right about everything, and clearly this is one of them.

I should probably stop checking social media in the hopes of seeing any progress, but something deep down inside me wants to scream out that I’m trying to change for her and for her not to write me off yet. But I guess these things are best shown rather than talked about.

I try to stay busy or engrossed in anything that constitutes self improvement. The hardest times are when I wake up or am about to go to bed, since you’re really the most vulnerable to your own thoughts then. But keeping a positive attitude and hope alive tends to help tremendously.