Is there any hope?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three months (gay relationship) about six weeks ago. We were going really strong, and we had built a lot of trust and had a very strong and loving relationship; plus, he was super into me and considered me to be his perfect boyfriend, which I really believe he meant. However, he struggles a lot with his own issues, like self-esteem and anxiety, and at the very end of our relationship, it got to a point where these personal issues were overwhelming him to a huge extent…and I was getting very frustrated that he wasn’t making enough time for me due to his busy schedule and his emotional overwhelmed state. We finally had a talk about it, and he apologized for not being as available in all aspects as a boyfriend should be and talked about all these issues he had to fix with himself before he could fully devote his attention to me and be in a state to be in a relationship. It was a super stressful time of year for both of us leading up to the holidays. The whole talk, I perceived it as him needing us to call the relationship quits because he wasn’t in a state to love himself and care for himself, and it was clear our relationship on top of all his issues was becoming absolutely overwhelming for him and that he “needed time figure everything out and then we can regroup.” But he kept talking about how he didn’t know what he wanted. I am a generally better communicator than him, so I had to kind of facilitate the whole conversation. I asked him if he wanted to take a break or call the whole relationship off. He said “he didn’t know.” And he repeatedly said this when I kept asking whether a break-up or a break would be better. I said, “I just think it would be unfair to myself to wait around for something that might not happen,” regarding a break, “so maybe it would be best to just call it off for right now,” but I made it very clear to him that I wasn’t moving on for someone else…I was just trying to give him the space he needed to fix his issues without the pressure of a relationship. He told me that it was like I was the right person at the wrong time, and if it was meant to be, we would be brought back together again. He said that I was the best boyfriend he had ever had, and that even despite breaking up, he “only had eyes for me and wasn’t moving on for someone else” but just needed to sort out his issues. I told him the feeling was mutual, and just because I was calling it off didn’t mean I was moving on to someone else. I really thought it was ultimately him needing us to end the relationship. I was super sad, but I understood that I made the right decision telling him breaking up would be better instead of taking a break because breaks are very confusing, and I expected it might end with him deciding breaking up would actually be better. It really seemed like a relationship wasn’t what he needed in his life, so I decided to give him space and initiate no-contact because I truly felt like he had broken up with me, not the other way around, and I had just made it official for him. However, several friends told me that I had broken up with him and that I needed to reach out to tell him I made a mistake because I truly did start to regret fully ending the relationship and not just taking a break. However, I understood that my reasons for a break-up were very valid and I just assumed I could try to re-ignite our relationship after some time and start fresh. I did no-contact for two weeks before texting him following the suggested methods on this site, and we had a casual but good conversation that died off. I figured he needed some time to work on his issues before wanting to talk about getting back into a relationship. I admittedly became desperate about five days later and texted him asking if he wanted to talk, but he said that it would be better to wait till after the holidays to talk in person as opposed to on the phone. I thought this was him indicating he wanted to just save deep discussions for in-person and also that he wasn’t in the mood to talk or think about our relationship at the moment. It later turned out he just thought I was texting him to be friendly, not because I was trying to re-approach a relationship, so it was too painful for him to reach out to me because I had broken up with him. I continued no contact other than him seeing my social media posts. When we saw each other again in person (at university) after break, I asked if we could chat, and he agreed, very friendly. We talked, and he told me that the breakup was super hard for him initially because he only wanted to take a two-week break, not a full break-up, and he felt like I had kind of just terminated the relationship, and as a result, he forced himself to completely move on from me over break. I was so surprised because he had never indicated clearly that he wanted just a couple weeks of break…I really thought he needed much more time for himself. I told him I was just breaking up with him because I thought that was what he wanted and needed, and even his friends told me I was doing the right thing. However, he said that he had completely moved on because it was the only way to stop the pain and cope, and during the break, he realized that he wants to be single for a long time but that if I hadn’t called it off, we would probably still be together now. I have been so frustrated with myself because I caused him to think I was over him by breaking it off with him when in reality I was just thinking he needed a ton of space and time, and now he says he has realized he wants to not date anyone at all for like a year and be independent. I asked him if he had completely lost feelings, and he said he thinks he has. I asked how it was so easy for him to move on, and he said that it had been five weeks since we had broken up and we had only dated for eight weeks. However, I’m very skeptical he truly lost all feelings since he was so into me? Could this be? He definitely made it very clear that he has moved on from our relationship and gotten over it since I had called it off, which I believe, but also that he wants us to be friends going into the future, especially since we are at school together. I was very upset in the moment and started to become desperate and pleading and telling him how mad at myself I was for our miscommunication and ending the relationship causing him to move on, and I asked/begged him to give me one more chance to try it again, but he said it would feel wrong at this point since he has moved on and wants to be completely single and didn’t want to force anything. I was acting pretty desperate and emotional, for sure. So I left it off saying I wanted him to be my friend and stay a part of my life, and he agreed but respected if I need to take time for myself, I’m so frustrated that we aren’t together because I did no-contact for five weeks thinking I could win him back after break, when in reality, I was the one who broke up with him, and that time I gave him to himself just allowed him to move on! We had such a good relationship that I really want to try and save it if possible. It’s hard to completely do no-contact because I see him every day, but I can definitely minimize contact. How do I rekindle a romantic relationship with this boy who has completely moved on as a result of a miscommunication between the two of us, who apparently has “lost” his feelings, and doesn’t want to date anyone for a while? I truly believe we are meant to be together, but I don’t know how to go forward and rekindle the relationship and his romantic feelings for me! What are your thoughts? He is definitely set on not dating me and just moving forward as friends, since he has already grieved the relationship, gotten his closure, and moved on. I really want to save this!

He’s jerking your chain. You made it clear the breakup was to give him time to deal with his issues and that you were not moving on to someone else. 2 or 3 months isn’t enough time to form a deep relationship, only the giddy feelings and joy of someone new. He wants to be single and there’s not much you can do about that. Don’t contact him, don’t ask to talk, and don’t beg anymore. Just be courteous whenever you see him at school. The ball is in his court to ask for a reconciliation.