Hi Kevin… Ive been dating with my ex for 5 years. We started darting when i was 19 and he was 25. Now im 24 and he is 30. We were in a very serious relationship and we talked about marriage and homes and our future and everything.
His family was okay with me at first and then they started to ask me to join their church and etc in order for us to get married . He came from a very religious family even though he was not a religious person. We both know that we cannot continue this relationship because of this problem so we decided to go on seperate lives.
He was the one who made the decission to end this because we always get back together and there is no way out regarding his family and We’ve never been able to stop contacting each other before. Before we end this he told me not to get into a new relationship for a rebound and etc. And he said he wouldn’t because he needs to focus on himself and his works and its too tiring and he needed a break. So i never contacted him again ever since.
Its been almost 2 months. And now he’s dating someone new. Someone 9 years younger than him and still in college. I know this sounds so pathetic. But i feel so sad right now because he did exactly the opposite. I know what he is doing right now is no concern of mine and its his right. But i thought after 5 years of relationship i deserved more than a month of mourning? Because the last time we met he still cried for me and said that no one will ever love him like i love him. I was there for him when he had no job. I was there for him when no one was there for him and i swear to you i was his rock.
We grew together. It took him 1 and half year for him to get over his ex who cheated on him until he found me. And it took him 1 and a half months for him to get over me?? How can he do that? How can i get over him too.. ?
Men can sometimes be pigs. He is still mourning you, he is just doing it in the way that you absolutely do not want. Let them ride out their course and see what happens. Props to you for going 2 months with no contact. That must be so hard.
Now is the time for you. Fix yourself, find your confidence. Learn how to see the world happily by yourself like you haven’t in five years. You were his rock and he was probably your comfort and now you have to go without that.
I know you really don’t want to hear this, but go on a few dates. See new people. Even if you don’t want them, it will occupy your time and if he gets word that youre doing ok he will become jealous.
And on a side note: if he cant be with you because of something regarding his parents, the love wasn’t as strong as you thought. If he cant live without you, you should come first. And the same goes vice versa, maybe if you love him as much as you say, you could convert to that religion just to please his family. If not though, I understand. Im not a religious person myself and it especially frustrating that HE is not too religious yet his family feels like you should be. Its good you held strong and didn’t change yourself for anyone.
Thank you so much for your support and kind words. I know i have to get out and go on few dates. But im too scared to hurt other people because im too hurt right now. Im just so worried that no matter whatever his motives. Whether its because of loneliness or rebound, he will love her eventually. Im very selfish and a very bad person because im too scared to loose his love.
Couple of days ago he contacted me to ask me if he can send me some things he bought for me while he was overseas last week. Im so confused with his actions. Why would he do that? If i was his girlfriend, i would have already cut his throat for sending things for his ex. What is he trying to do. He didnt ask to meet up. But i really want to meet him and smack his head.
And i have this additional information. I dont want to sound like some of crazy ex girlfriend in the horror movies. But i guess i am. But the girl he is dating now, her dad was a fraud. And im pretty sure she is after his money.
She worked as his sister’s wedding organiser and i met her on her wedding few months ago. I knew about this when they started dating because my friend is her childhood friend.
I really understand if a beautiful young woman chasing after a stable older man for financial security. But still it really pissed me off because i was the one who supported him when he had nothing and i still want him to have the best. Someone who will love him for who he is and not because of his money. It makes me so angry
