Sounds like you are trying really hard, Mema, and bravo and “bon courage” to you. Since you don’t initiate conversations, but he seems to contact you every day, it does seem to me that he wants to keep you in his life, but maybe not as his girl friend. I do think this false friendship thing is perilous, in your case, because he seems absolutely sure that you want to get back with him. The only way this false friendship can work is if you signal to him that you’re OVER him completely, and would under no circumstance get him back. I don’t know the guy or you, obviously, but I do think a better strategy, for your own peace of mind, might be to be a very distant friend. So DONT reply every time he texts you. Dont speak to him late at night or first thing in the morning. Dont write emotional, even jokey, things to him. In short, don’t make any of your contacts with him any different than with any other male friend you have. I KNOW it’s really hard but I really believe it’s the only way. In fact I’d say that if you could restrict contact with him to only once in two weeks - note, I;m not saying “do NC” - I’m just saying be distant and cold with him - that would be great.
I know you’re in Syria as i’ve been reading along with all your posts - though this is the first time I’ve written on your topic - and I feel for you, and I hope that things will be ok for you very soon. Hurrah for passing your master’s exam, and for having friends, and a social life far apart from him , and for going to the gym and taking care of yourself. Maybe all of this will make you realize that you are really wonderful, and deserve someone who treats you as you deserve to be treated. I know he used to treat you that way before. But he doesn’t now, and until he does, he is not worth your attention. Why would someone as wonderful and accomplished as you want to be with this guy, who I’m sure is great, but doesn’t treat you right?
Think about this carefully, and respond whenever you can: you deserve better. We all deserve better. If he can’t see how wonderful you are, then you need to be with someone who does. Or alone. I think it is better to be alone, even for life, than with someone who doesn’t love us the way we want to be loved.
Be strong mema, and write here by all means as regularly as you want, if it helps you, but stop being in touch with this guy every day. It is a toxic situation, and you need to step back and recover yourself.
Good luck! We’re all cheering you on, and we’re all in the same boat as you, more or less (except in my case I dont want to be with my ex ever; no matter how much I love him. I refuse to be with someone who doesnt love me. And so I don’t want “my ex back” in any way. I only came to this website to help me deal with the pain and grief.)
You should act very casual around him. As if he’s just some guy, even if you have to fake it. Don’t text him anymore unless he contacts you first, do other things with your time so you don’t always need to reply to his messages. But before you do this, you need to completely vanish from his life for a while. Delve into something else that doesn’t have anything to do with him.
Hi
So, I followed the no contact rule and the letter. Thereafter my ex and I began talking again. She told me she misses me etc.
We recently met up and it was a good day I would say and when she left she said she had lots of fun and thank you so much for that. Last night, she asked me if I am expecting anything to come out of this. As in if sometime in the future whether I am hoping that we will start dating and get into a relationship. And she said that she wanted to make sure that she is not leading me on and wanted to know what I am expecting.
To which I said no you are not leading me on and that I do not know what to expect.
How do i go on from here? Recently she has been busy with exams and it has been me who initiates the conversations.
Looking forward to your reply
thanx SM … you may be right about him wanting me in his life as a friend … that’s why I’m confused …he is telling me every day that he loves me … and he’s acting the same way that he used to when we were together almost all the time … but sometimes he’s mean … or when we argue about something he reminds me that we are only friends now (I do the same when I’m angry at him )… but any time else … he writes love songs as a status on whatsapp and he ends them with the “honey imoji” which refers to me 
… and he does whatever I ask him or something … and he does all the things that makes me happy … so idk what does this means …
but I’ll do my best to be as distance as I can from him …
and you have a piont … I deserve to be treated better … I deserve someone that knows he’s lucky to have me in his life (although my ex says he’s) … but if he doesn’t see what he’s missing … it’s his problem not mine anymore …
but I kind if feel guilty … because all of our breaks up was my fault … I was insecure … needy … jealous all the time and I was stressed all the time … so I feel like I owe him to make things up this time …
and I hope you’ll get over your ex as soon as possible … best luck for you too …
ok … something really bad just happened …
he was online talking to me on whatsapp … he put as profile picture a photo of him and some of his female friends that I hate “I really hate all of his friends” … so he was sending me photos of him … well I did say I didn’t like them all … and I asked him if he’s gained weigh …lol … I was really angry at him … and he was online … as he said he was just talking to me … but he was not replying instantly … so I asked him … if you are busy I’ll talk to you later … he said he’s out with his friends … so I told him ok I’ll talk to you later … he said no stay … I’m online just to talk to you … so I did … he had a fight with his parents. . they didn’t agree for him to come to my city tomorrow … so he was upset … and he was angry at them … so I stayed to calm him down … but for an hour we almost didn’t talk about any thing … so I got mad and I told him … you know I hate talking to you like this … and I told you if you’re busy we’ll talk later … so just say you’re busy ! … he sweared that he’s busy because he’s at the café and that he really wants to talk to me … so I said you know that I’ll be angry if you did this … so you’ll get what you want … I’m angry now … do he said oh really? … then I told him that he’s always letting me down … while I do my best to calm him … he said ok … that’s what I do … and he went offline … after an hour … I tried to call him … he turned his phone off … so now I’m really angry and idk what to do :@
any advice? ??
he sends me a message saying he’s really angry from his parents and he needs time to calm down … and that he’ll contact me later … he did after a while … and he calmed me down … 
Mema,
Try not to convey too much emotion to him. Some of things you seem to get upset are trivial, when that happens you need to just take a time out and stop talking to him and getting upset. You are looking too much at him to fulfill emotional needs, these are the parts you need to work on yourself.
You don’t need him for that, because what happens is if you depend on him for that you will always be up and down.
If he sounds busy, just politely say goodbye and hang up. Don’t ask what he is doing? who he is with? don’t ask don’t you want to talk to me?
when you get off the phone you need to write down your feelings, just so you can deal with them on your own.
hi mema,
I am not able to understand you story. why will be boy after saying that he love you and he is not committing for long term relationship. I think some think is fishy . I can say from you story that boy doesn’t deserve you. and as you beautiful you should move on . but after being you are beautiful why he is not accepting you. I think you have done some major mistakes which really heart him to go for long term relationship with you. which you are not reveling her. only blaming on that boy that he is not simple taking an interested to talk to you as boy I can say if once he told you that he love you mean that he had some feeling for you . may be he had some bad and negative taught about you that he is not ready for long term .
thanx TristanJade for replying … I’m sorry it took me this long to reply … well there was no connection at his city for the past couple of days … so I had to cut off contact untill he calls me … We’ve been like this for a week now … but still … he calls me from his house whenever he can …
but still … I’ll follow your advice … starting Sunday … for a couple of days … to see what will happen …
today he told me that he’s not looking for a relationship … not with anybody … but I feel he was not completely honest with me … and he’s hiding something … it’s just a feeling … also hes telling me constantly that he loves me … and he misses me like hell … etc … but maybe it’s time to a little “me time” now …but for how long do you think I should cut him off?
hey Al1348 … first it’s a great news that you’re talking to your ex … and for finishing the NC … and about what you should do … I believe you have 2 options … either to establish a False Friendship with her … and let her believe that you want her as a friend more than a gf … “read the Relationship Rewind it’ll help you with this” … or just take things slow and see where it’ll go … I think that you can cutt of the contact with her now for a couple of days and see how she’ll response …
I hope you’ll get her back soon … keep us updated
Thanks for the advice Maria … my problem is that I don’t realise how stupid the reason is till I calm down … or till he gets mad at me … lol
but the thing is that he knows how easily I can get upset when he’s busy while talking to me … and he did it … and I ask him politely to talk to him later … he refused and he said that he needs me to be by his side now because he’s feeling down … so I did … and I didn’t ask where is he or what was he doing … he told me that by himself
I’ll work on being a better person in this … and I’ll try not to get upset over stupid things again …
I’ll update about what’s going on in my life later today …
and it’ll be great if you give me your advice ^^
thanx alot ^^
well … yesterday was awful … I was kind of busy … but there was no connection at his city all the day … so when he contacted me on whatsapp … I talked to him even though I was busy … because the connections will be available at his city only for one hour … but after like 20 minutes … he got busy with his best friend who lives now in another country … so he told me he’ll talk to me later … and I got really upset … I left every thing to talk to him while he preferred talking to his best friend 
… so … he told me that if he had to choose between me and his 2 best friends … he’ll always choose them … and it hurts alot … I ended up saying good night and I hang up on him … after a while … I calmed down and tried to contact him … there was no connection … idk … he was really mean to me … he told me I’m not his gf anymore so he doesn’t have to talk to me when he has free time …
I’m really upset now … even though he gave me my good night kiss and my good morning message …but I don’t like being in second place -_-
I want to be his first interest in life … and I’m willing to do a strict NC this week no …
but idk how to act when he’ll contact me … or even if 1 week is enough … etc …
any advice about this will be appreciated …
Mema,
“One of the most courageous decisions you will ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting you heart and soul” - Brigitte Nicole
I wasted years in a relationship that never become what I wanted. I wish I had walked away from it way way sooner than I did. What a waste of my life that I will never get back