yes - I’ve found reading to be really helpful! i read one self help book that was ok but to be honest I’ve found it much more helpful to read books about things non break up related because when youre absorbed in a good book it can help keep your mind off the situation.
thanks for the support! i feel like right now theres really nothing for me to discuss in my situation anymore. my ex is always willing to hang out/talk to me when i want to but i just was feeling stuck in limbo and he wasn’t going to commit to me anytime soon. i know i wasn’t perfect in my past relationship but i was always a really great girlfriend and we had a great relationship overall that lasted 7 years. he left purely because he told me he didnt want to end up married and years from now wonder “what if” since we got together at 15. so its really out of my control. either not having me in his life for a while and dating other girls will confirm he wants to be with me or it will show him he’s happier without me and wants to move on. its been almost 6 months but compared to 7 years thats not really a long time. i knew going into this that he would really want to spend time dating other girls and that this would take him more than a couple weeks to figure out. i feel like maybe in may i would want to maybe sit down and talk to him and discuss what he’s been thinking but im not really ready for that right now. i haven’t seen him since december. in my situation i just know a letter or faking being friends wont work. were always all or nothing so unfortunately right now it needs to be nothing. it sucks but it is what it is. i think the biggest piece of advice i can give is to focus on you and not what the relationship could be. its ultimately his choice if he wants to come back or not and you unfortunately can’t really force him into a decision.
my ex and i had a great relationship - we got through many ups and downs together, always had fun, were best friends, great chemistry, great compatibility, etc. his family is absolutely devastated. his mom texts me all the time telling me she hopes one day we will finally be family and she thinks about and misses me everyday and really hopes this time apart will strengthen our relationship. thats something he’s told me a lot. that he hopes this time apart will be good for us. but i truthfully don’t know if we will reconcile. i can’t predict at all!
i appreciate your support though and i mainly stay on these forums to help. the support of people on here got me through the most horrible first 4 months and a lot of the advice helped me get to where i am now. in 6 months or now whether or not you reconcile you will look back on these posts youre writing now and be in a whole new place - i promise that!
Atea I really feel you are going great and that everything will go well with you. You are such a smart and mature young lady. Even his family loves you so I am feeling positive about your situation. Anyway keep doing what you are doing. I already feel much different than a month ago. I have been having somewhat good days. The first month I had them as well. I was affraid, very very depressed. But I knew we needed that time apart. Now I am not so sure if this time is being good for us or just pulling us apart. I am afraid of that. But in two weeks or maybe a bit less I am thinking of contacting him. So not worth thinking of it now. It scares me that we have been together for just 5 months, and already half of that passed since the break up. I don’t want this time apart to overwrite our relationship, you know?
I felt really good today. I was out with friends and for chunks of time I barely thought about him. This site has made wonders to me and I am even getting some of my confidence back. Hell I might have made a mistake, didn’t know better, and I might have a long way education and career wise. But I am sweet, caring, fun. I am genuinely a good person and do a lot of mistakes out of distraction or being naive, but I never do any bad. I am open minded and accepting of people. I care about the world. I am smart and mature in most things at least. He is totally missing out too.
I really need to take these two weeks and work on myself. I need to heal and focus on my college and getting a job and getting a right meal plan done
I would like more people to join our conversation. I wanted this thread to be a place for everyone to share their struggles and wishes to improve. I created it but I don’t want it to be about me, but about us helping each other to improve
Hi guys, seeing as this has been 4 years since you last posted on this forum- I was wondering what your lives are looking like? did you guys get back together with your exes?
I am 19. I started dating my girlfriend when I was 17, we were each other’s first everything and I love her dearly. We lived together for over 1.5 years, we lived in the dorms together and lived in an apartment together. I think our living situation made our relationship a lot worse than it could have been. I am now, at this very moment one full month no contact. but we broke up about 2 months ago (we were living together while broken up, it was very painful to go through).
