I want him back but I also want a better relationship with him this time

Hi,

Me & my ex has broken up a month ago. I was the one who initiated the break up. It was also my fault that instead of talking out the issues with him, I just simply break up. I Guess he was very angry & hurt as soon as I started the break up text. He is not the best lover in the world & I can be selfish sometimes. There are times he acted like a child, ignored me when I want to hang out with him. I think the biggest issue is miscommunications. He is the kind of guy who likes to keep things to himself. He also have history in family background as he came from a broken family. His dad left his Mom when he was a child & his Sister was also recently left by her Husband. So he is the kind of guy who don’t believe in love & marriage way before I met him. I Guess I made him change a little of his perspective towards life while we were dating but I feel like I break everything when I started the break up. I feel so selfish, guilty & regret. However deep down inside, I still love him. As every girls go through during break up, I feel desperate, clingy, asking him to get back together with me & saying sorry for breaking up in the first place. But he refused. He said let just be friends. So I decided to follow Kelvin’s 5 step plan. Now I’m in no contact period. However, we two have a lot of common friends. He is still active in the group chat. It’s a bit hard to start the no contact bcuz of that group chat. I tried to leave the chat but other friends complained & put me back in the group again. So how can I maintain to make a successful no contact period by not upsetting other friends? Any suggestions?

@dori - Since he knows you want to get back together, don’t talk about it anymore! How long were you together? Don’t contact him outside the chat group and just be polite when you see him there. He might reconsider and ask for a chat, but maybe not. You’ll just have to wait and see what happens… Good luck.

Well, now I stop responding in group chat, if I need to response I PM the common friends individually. But he keep reporting what he is doing in the group chat like where he will going a trip, what he is eating, things like that. Is it healthy in no contact period, knowing what your ex is doing? But from my side, I keep things to my side without sending anything in group chat.