My ex and I have been through a lot. Some of which on her end but a lot of it on mine. We’ve actually been a strong couple because of it. Over the past 9 months we have been living together in our first place together. In that time I have been struggling to find steady work thus she has had to basically support us both. This has made me feel so weak and less of a man that I can’t supoort my family. Sometimes when we would fight she would jump right to the break up which is a little much and I was always able to neutralize it. But she recently pulled the same thing and being at the low point in my life I ended up meeting up with another girl I know for drinks and that was it. Couple days later me and my gf got back together but I never told her. Instead I saw this other female twice more, one of the times we ended up sleeping together. The last time I saw her I told her we probably shouldn’t see each other anymore. Well my gf found out and has since ended things saying it’s for good. Kicker is, she tells me she’s done but leaves the future open stating, if it’s meant to be then it will. Also, she has told me things since like she’s the happiest she’s ever been in her life with me. I’m irreplaceable. She loves me. Even considering continuing to see my daughter to keep a relationship. All these signs point to she isn’t done, she just needs space and in that time I need to show her I can not only provide but also be loyal. I’m not a cheater, despise it. I was vulnerable and weak. I regret it more than anything I have ever done In my life. I want to change and earn my gf back so that I can keep her and my family happy forever. Just looking for some insight on what people think about my chances and if taking these proper steps can work.
Questions: How long have you known or dated her? Is your daughter by a previous wife? Is your daughter living with you? Does your ex have any children? Are you and your ex girlfriend still living together (doesn’t sound like it). If not, what are your living arrangements and how are you supporting yourself?
Do you have a job yet?
You are a cheater and have no self control. You even slept with that other woman while you were back together with your girlfriend. Were you drinking or doing drugs at the time? I think your ex lost trust in you and would be very reluctant to reconcile. And maybe she even lost respect for you due to you being jobless…
While looking for a full time job you could have at least worked some part time odd jobs to bring in some money to the household.
Earning back her trust will probably be the most difficult as she will probably suspect you’re being unfaithful for a long time. Getting a full time job would be a good first step in earning back her respect. I suggest you go no contact or less contact until you have something positive to say, IE: a job!
If you want to reconcile, you have to be willing to make good changes. And if she’s willing, at some point you two need to discuss how to fix the issues you had during the relationship.
Good luck…
We’ve known each other for 3 years and been together for 2.5. Daughter is mind who she has a very close relationship with. None of her own. I’ve packed some bags and am staying at a friends for now. I’ve already started working 50 hours a week and have begun drastically changing my life around to not only better myself but prove to her I can change.
Good. I hope the job is full time steady work with the same employer. The 50 hour thing almost sounds like a restaurant type job. If you’re receiving a steady income, the next thing would be to save enough to get into your own apartment. Glad you’re making some positive changes:)
PS: Curious as to where your daughter is living?
Daughter is living with her mother at the moment. I’m not trying to jump the gun just yet on my own apartment. If there is a chance I can fix things from where I’m currently living then that includes going back to our house at some point.