Alright, so this is going to be somewhat of a long story. My gf and I met and started dating about a year and a half ago. Things were great, and we had a pretty great connection when we were together. The thing was, she was in high school, and I was in college an hour away. The first year went perfect, no fights, sex kissing conversation was great. However, about a year later, my finances got a little tight. And I could no longer afford to see her every day. At first, things were still okay. She sometimes paid for my gas or drove to see me. But we started to fight. I was really bad at texting back, but always made sure to call every night. Over time, I said a few things and became somewhat emotionally distant. I told her I didn’t have the energy to fight with her and that if she ever broke up with me, I would have to sleep around just to cope. I was also poor with boundaries… She had a kink where she liked to be dominated, so I was never sure when no meant no. She started hanging a lot out with her old guy friends, one of whom was also a friend of mine. Fast forward a few more months and she broke up with me. She said she wasn’t feeling loved. She said she loved me, but wasn’t in love with me anymore. The night she broke up with me, I called that mutual friend and asked him to make her happy, because I wasn’t going to be around much longer. A week after the BU, I apologized for how I made her feel. She said she forgave me, but just wanted to be friends with no guarantee of anything more ever. She also told me she had feelings for the mutual friend because I called him over her other friends that night.
I know the things I told her, and the way I treated her and neglected her was wrong, but I loved her more than anything. I want her back. What do I do?