I messed up

Me and my ex boyfriend met up when I was 28 during my birthday at disco I was still in the rollercoaster road with my ex of 8 years. We started seeing each other rarely in 2016 like 3 or 4 times ending always going to bed, then late 2017 we saw other again and the connection was a little bit stronger then down road of 2018 we connect more and had done some vacations together but we’re not labeled. Then lately 2018 he wanted me to be his girlfriend and I said yes but wasn’t convinced at all because we are in a long distance relationship, though we kept on communicating…Under that circumstances I slept with somebody else and he found it on my phone, so in that time I told him we should stop this relationship but he said that he can forgive me and promise that i’m Not gona do the same mistakes again. So we started all over again, he has helped me a lot especially for my son to migrate here. We had our vacation together and spend sometimes with his family, basically he has given a lot of things including attention, support and emotional stability. However, my ex of 8 years wanted me back and he proposed to me to get married, and I told to my boyfriend this. He was already pissed on me because of things not posting him to Facebook and not very intimate with him but I have told him my reasons already. Later he found out that I went at my exe’s boat (obviously I lied everything about that day) I didn’t of course had sex with my ex but it was something like a peer pressure. I don’t want to defend myself as if I am a victim, I went at my ex’s boat not to flirt or have romantic attachement to him or else I could have gone alone. It was more of seeing all the friends who we used to hang out and had memories in the boat where we used to have together. the thought that my boyfriend had prepared me the things that I will use for my camping, because he want to be sure that I will be fine but then I went to my ex’s boat made him really mad. He ended our relationship in a click, I felt devastated because I love him so much and i did fight also for this relationship. Now we are still texting and even gona to bed several times but he is different now, I don’t know what can I do more to win him back. We have also tried no contact for a week then ended up again texting, sometimes we do videocall and he still helps about my son’s things to do (usually our communication starts there). Everytime I sleep at his flat, I still feels that he cuddles me and takes good care of me. But I hurt him! I felt like I am the worst person. For 3 months now I have been thinking and longing him, it has never ever sinked in my mind to text, to see or to find, to flirt or even to create dating app. Or Whatsoever! I kinda need an advice how to show to him how I loved him.

You need to stop cheating by sleeping with someone else when you’re in any relationship.

And stop lying when you’re in a relationship.

You made mistakes and have learned from them so that’s a good thing:) You can show him your love by always being honest and not cheating.

Good luck…

Thank you Patricia?,

I’ve learned a lot from this break up, one of this is to end properly past before jumping somebody elses’ So you will be whole already, and you can give your best with no cheating and lying. I’m still struggling now but I’ve decided not to contact him because it was just giving me a lot of negativities and rejection and it was becoming unhealthy both sides! I think we just need time, and let’s see how it goes! I’m still hoping that we can start all over again and let go of the past but of course i’m Not in the right position to call for that. A piece of advice to everybody treasure the one when they’re still around!