Hi, my situation is complicated (or at least on my mind)
My ex and i started dating on 04/22/2015 and broke up on 04/04/2016
we were already going to be a year, I am not gonna lie, yes i’m suffering, yes i’m crying. In reality, i am miserable but i have slightly accepted the break up.
Before we started dating our first contact was “Flowers or chocolates?” I didn’t know who it was until i found out it was him. we had a nice conversation he asked me out to dinner and went to my favorite restaurant where we talked about each other, he told me about his family his interests and i told him about my family and a little about me. After the dinner, we went to the movies and watched Fast & Furious 7 when it barely came out, it was fun and flirty.
We had at least 4 dates before he asked me to be his girlfriend; in the time that we went out on our dates he never kissed me on the lips, he always gave me a nice kiss on the hand or the cheek. I thought it was romantic and he was being a gentlemen. We had our fights where we did break up but no more than 1 week. 2 times he begged me back and i begged him back, but this last break-up hurt the most. Reason #1 His grandfather had just passed away and he made the decision to drink and drive, we live in El Paso, Texas; the funeral was in Cd. Juarez, Chihuahua.
I got a call from his dad saying he was driving intoxicated, picked up a stranger and were being chased from the police and were even being shot at. I couldn’t go I live with my parents and it was 3am when it occurred. The next day I went over to his house to see if he was okay, a little beat up from the police, he was handcuffed to the floor lying down (his mother thought he was dead, enough she had going through her fathers funeral). I told him he was smarter than that, what was going through his mind at the time, I get these past days we have been distanced but as other girls would have broken up with him I stayed by his side even if he ditched me for his friends on or 11 months together to go get drunk. I forgave him and he said that I was the best thing that has happened in his “miserable life”. I said I don’t care what happened in the past, we’re together now and stronger than ever.
Reason #2 (keep in mind, most of our arguments had to do with my exboyfriend back in 2014) My ex kept trying to have contact with me no matter the situation; I wold tell my boyfriend he is nothing to me, I had told him several times to leave me alone, I have blocked him from social media and changed my number and he still won’t listen. My boyfriend was tough but when it came to my exboyfriend he turned really insecure and started doubting me. No matter what i would say to make him know that he was the only one he wouldn’t believe.
Reason #3 I might be pregnant of him, we had pregnancy scares but this one doesn’t compare to others. If I am I don’t want to tell him, he will think its just an excuse to get back together. The day of the break up, he said your ex called, Wtf is going on? I said how did he get my number i just changed it? He didn’t believe me. (We were in Mexico, on our way back to El Paso, the international bridges were up to an hour in a half of wait) We fought, we were with his grandparents earlier and they said “Jessica, please take care of Alex, he won’t listen to us maybe he will listen to you” I said that i would promise to take care of him with all my heart, his grandpa cried to me and begged to take care of him and I promised him. When we got in the car I wanted a pop kiss from him and he said he was mad and why was I still taking to my ex. I said I was not, “I don’t know how many times i have to tell you and show you that we are nothing, I have showed you and demonstrated that I am only yours.” He said, “BS!I am done, I loved you and I adored you but if you want him fine, we are done.” He said, “I don’t want you to message me or call me. Erase my number, block me on facebook, I don’t want to know anything from you. You are nothing to me” I stayed quiet, and asked if he was serious…he was he said “shut up, I don’t want to hear you, after we cross the bridge, you are going to find your way home because I am done with you”. He left me stranded on the bridge after we crossed, i got a ride home.
I called him saying that i left my rosary in his car the one he gave me for Christmas and said it was going to protect me. He came around 10pm I cried because he hugged me, the reason I cried as because during our fight in the car he said that he already started talking to a new girl. She said she liked him and he said he didn’t want a relationship for now. I cried because he said that he is already talking to her, that he is going to take her flowers, he hit me with the “Flowers or Chocolates?” i cried harder, he never shed a tear! He hugged me and I told him to get off me, why was he hugging me and he said because he loves me, that he adores me! I said “Liar! If you loved me we would be fixing this!! Not you jumping to another girls arms”
Yes, I want my ex back, but I also want him to be happy, even if that means to not talk to him and accepting he has another girl to run up to.
Please, help me! Is it worth it?? We talked about Growing together, buying an acre and start building a home, he was going to give me a promise ring on our anniversary. But I think that, that is gone, I don’t want to accept it but I have to…
Help me move on and be happy and if God wants us together then we will, if not walk away and move on