I feel that he never cared

Hi, my situation is complicated (or at least on my mind)
My ex and i started dating on 04/22/2015 and broke up on 04/04/2016
we were already going to be a year, I am not gonna lie, yes i’m suffering, yes i’m crying. In reality, i am miserable but i have slightly accepted the break up.

Before we started dating our first contact was “Flowers or chocolates?” I didn’t know who it was until i found out it was him. we had a nice conversation he asked me out to dinner and went to my favorite restaurant where we talked about each other, he told me about his family his interests and i told him about my family and a little about me. After the dinner, we went to the movies and watched Fast & Furious 7 when it barely came out, it was fun and flirty.

We had at least 4 dates before he asked me to be his girlfriend; in the time that we went out on our dates he never kissed me on the lips, he always gave me a nice kiss on the hand or the cheek. I thought it was romantic and he was being a gentlemen. We had our fights where we did break up but no more than 1 week. 2 times he begged me back and i begged him back, but this last break-up hurt the most. Reason #1 His grandfather had just passed away and he made the decision to drink and drive, we live in El Paso, Texas; the funeral was in Cd. Juarez, Chihuahua.

I got a call from his dad saying he was driving intoxicated, picked up a stranger and were being chased from the police and were even being shot at. I couldn’t go I live with my parents and it was 3am when it occurred. The next day I went over to his house to see if he was okay, a little beat up from the police, he was handcuffed to the floor lying down (his mother thought he was dead, enough she had going through her fathers funeral). I told him he was smarter than that, what was going through his mind at the time, I get these past days we have been distanced but as other girls would have broken up with him I stayed by his side even if he ditched me for his friends on or 11 months together to go get drunk. I forgave him and he said that I was the best thing that has happened in his “miserable life”. I said I don’t care what happened in the past, we’re together now and stronger than ever.

Reason #2 (keep in mind, most of our arguments had to do with my exboyfriend back in 2014) My ex kept trying to have contact with me no matter the situation; I wold tell my boyfriend he is nothing to me, I had told him several times to leave me alone, I have blocked him from social media and changed my number and he still won’t listen. My boyfriend was tough but when it came to my exboyfriend he turned really insecure and started doubting me. No matter what i would say to make him know that he was the only one he wouldn’t believe.

Reason #3 I might be pregnant of him, we had pregnancy scares but this one doesn’t compare to others. If I am I don’t want to tell him, he will think its just an excuse to get back together. The day of the break up, he said your ex called, Wtf is going on? I said how did he get my number i just changed it? He didn’t believe me. (We were in Mexico, on our way back to El Paso, the international bridges were up to an hour in a half of wait) We fought, we were with his grandparents earlier and they said “Jessica, please take care of Alex, he won’t listen to us maybe he will listen to you” I said that i would promise to take care of him with all my heart, his grandpa cried to me and begged to take care of him and I promised him. When we got in the car I wanted a pop kiss from him and he said he was mad and why was I still taking to my ex. I said I was not, “I don’t know how many times i have to tell you and show you that we are nothing, I have showed you and demonstrated that I am only yours.” He said, “BS!I am done, I loved you and I adored you but if you want him fine, we are done.” He said, “I don’t want you to message me or call me. Erase my number, block me on facebook, I don’t want to know anything from you. You are nothing to me” I stayed quiet, and asked if he was serious…he was he said “shut up, I don’t want to hear you, after we cross the bridge, you are going to find your way home because I am done with you”. He left me stranded on the bridge after we crossed, i got a ride home.

I called him saying that i left my rosary in his car the one he gave me for Christmas and said it was going to protect me. He came around 10pm I cried because he hugged me, the reason I cried as because during our fight in the car he said that he already started talking to a new girl. She said she liked him and he said he didn’t want a relationship for now. I cried because he said that he is already talking to her, that he is going to take her flowers, he hit me with the “Flowers or Chocolates?” i cried harder, he never shed a tear! He hugged me and I told him to get off me, why was he hugging me and he said because he loves me, that he adores me! I said “Liar! If you loved me we would be fixing this!! Not you jumping to another girls arms”

Yes, I want my ex back, but I also want him to be happy, even if that means to not talk to him and accepting he has another girl to run up to.
Please, help me! Is it worth it?? We talked about Growing together, buying an acre and start building a home, he was going to give me a promise ring on our anniversary. But I think that, that is gone, I don’t want to accept it but I have to…
Help me move on and be happy and if God wants us together then we will, if not walk away and move on

Hello,
I’m sorry for your hurt and pain and I really know how you feel and I can relate to him in certain ways to which I will explain.
The alcohol abuse is to not deal with the pain he is going through, the suffering he has because I have been doing the same just at home.
2nd: the “other girl” is an ego boost to him because he feels he can’t be desired by you or wanted, so another girl wanting him is an ego boost a repair if you will, I’ve done the same.
3rd. I think he has some confidence issues that he has because maybe he feels you don’t want him as much as you use to, not sure but it’s how I would feel, he’d want your attention like crazy so being needy basically.
Only you can decide if it’s worth it, people will say “yes” or “no way” but only you can decide if it is worth it only to YOU, know one was in it other than you.
Just give it time, I know it’s hard, but you have to give it time, he also has to take care of himself to and his family really does love you but your also not a babysitter for him either he has to be responsible for himself to be responsible for both of you.

You have to do what is best for you and know one can choose that for you only give you advice.
Trust me I wish someone will tell me what to do with my situation but at the end of the day it’s just feedback and can only be a choice, your choice.

I am really sorry that you have to go through this unbelievable situation.

I don’t understand it and I think that this guy is trouble.
Please whatever you decide to do, be careful, try to not fall into his game, he wants to hurt you right now.

The story I’ve just read sounds like a scene from a movie and it’s hard to believe that it’s actually true.

Weather he believes you or not about you talking with your ex.
There is no reason in the world he would act this way.
Why would he be hugging you, saying that he loves you, but he is going to be with another girl as a revenge or something like that.

I think that his head is messed up right now, either that he is doing drugs, or that the death of his grandpa hit him so hard that he just and doesn’t feel anything or maybe it’s the baby that makes him scared.

I really don’t know, it’s all really unbelievable and hard to accept, hang in there.

I was wondering if you have any updates on your story.

Because I really wonder if you’re ok, the story you told is really dramatic and really sounds like a part of a movie.

I really hope that you’re doing ok over there.