Actually I don’t know from where I have to start my problem. I have really a very complicated breakup and I see that chances to get my ex-wife back is very tiny and to get her back, I really need heavenly miracle, but I hard working on it and I still have deep faith that we can get her back with my trust in Jesus that he will grant me this chance back.
We have been married since 2007 and we lived really a very beautiful life of love, passion and harmony. My wife, all period we are together, helped me in everything and she gave me all her maximum power and energy to keep me successful person, specially that I am a foreigner in an European Eastern country. Now, we have together 3 beautiful children (7y, 6y & 4y). Our troubles and conflicts started since 2013. This is because we had many commitments at this period, we took a bank loan and we bought unfinished house, I had a lot of work, so I didn’t find enough time to follow up finishing our new house and in addition to it all, she decided to be pregnant in our third child. As result of all circumstances, I could be able to handle all what is required of me as a husband, then as a time runs, she became very nervous and impolite to me and I saw that I have lost my respect on her eyes. During this period, I made a big mistake, I have fallen in quick love with my colleague in my work who was younger 10 years ( now I am 37y old), and this girl had also boyfriend. Later on, I have cheated on her with this girl while my wife was away in vacation alone with two children. After few weeks, this girl felt guilty towards her boyfriend who also knew that she cheated him with me, so this girl broke up with me. Unfortunately, my wife somehow she felt that I have an affair with some girl and somehow she reached to this girl. My wife wrote to this girl on private message on fb and this girl wrote to my wife back everything happened between us, so my wife drove crazy. I was about to be crazy too. So, I talked to this girl to deny everything she wrote to my wife and to say that she is lying, so she did so. Althogh I denied too that I have something with girl, but my wife didn’t believe it. My wife all time of pregnancy was trying to get fron me the truth, but I didn’t say it. So, she became more aggressive with me and with the children and she was fighting all time with me, until one day, I couldn’t stand her aggressivity, So I called for her police and it was my second mistake. After the birth of the third child, I decided to leave her and to move somewhere else, but she hold me and she told me that she still loves me and she can’t live without me and she said that she believes me that I didn’t have any affair with this girl. When I saw that she still wants me to stay and to keep on our relationship, so I forgot everything happened before and to look forward. Later on, we moved to our new house and we decided to forget these conflicts and to start again with love. We kept on such peaceful life till mid of 2014. During this period, this girl was still working on my department and all this time, I was ignoring her and I cut totally communication with her, until she wrote me mail asking me to end my ignorance to her and to return our communication together again, so I agreed, we went together for cafe, then my love to this girl started to grow up again, so I invited her for wine and then slept with her, so with same girl, I have cheated my wife for the second time. My relationship with girl continued almost two months and I say that this girl really loved me so much from her heart. Again, somehow my wife felt that I have something with someone else until she discoved the whole story and under her pressure, I told her the pure truth of what happened before and later this time. Hence, my wife was totally in shock and with what I did, I totally destroyed her. I didn’t know what should I do. She kept almost three weeks crying and wasn’t able to do anything. So, I felt how ugly and mean am I towards my wife.
At this moment, I didn’t want to lose her, so I immediately decided to cut my relationship with this girl to try to fix what I did. Unfortunately, my wife couldn’t breakup with me because she was still in maternity leave and I was the only source of family income. She stood the situation, she was trying to understanding why I went behind this girl again. She lost self confidence and she felt that she is less value than other women in my eyes. She was trying to have sex with me, but in every time we sleep together, she remembers me with this girl, but she was trying to survive. Even so, she was still loving me like no one else, but she didn’t forgive me. We kept on till beginning of 2016 in such life which was sometime very complicated and conflicted and sometimes in calm and harmony. Throughout this period, I was dedicated only for her, I cut my relationship almost with most of women I know, I minimized my fun time with friends for beer and I dedicated all my time only between family and work, I wrote the whole house on her name, I sent all my monthly salary to her account, this all I did in order to trust me. But unfortunately, this is all did help to forgive me, which made me sometimes angry and miserable, specially when she reminds me with my betrayal on her. Sometimes, I ignored her and her existence by minimizing my communication with her. Although all of it and all what I did, she kept loving me from her heart. I was really stupid!!! But can say the truth that after cheating on her, I started to love her more than whenever before. Everyday, my love to her became bigger and bigger. In beginning of 2016, I have been fired from my work, so I became without work. Both of us became without work, so we started both search for work. She found first work with same income as I had before, so she found that it is the right time to return me all pains back to me. She first started to talk about me badly among neighbours, she started to use one of the guys in neighbourhood to chat with him in order to make me jealous. She started to deal with me roughly with ignorance. She stopped sleep with me, so we didn’t have sex for more than a year. So, I was totally psych destroyed. I started to peg her to stop doing it to me and that I love her so much. But, she kept on in her way of treatment to me. After six months of searching on work, I finally found another work in same field and with same salary, so I started to have bit self confidence, but all time I was sad because of my wife and her ignorance to me. I was trying to survive the situation and to stand how she behaves to me until I will save some money, then I can move somewhere else. After New Year, I found flat to move in, so during preparing my things for moving, she came and started to flight with me that I stool some documents of children, so the fight became bigger, so I had nothing to do in order finish this fight except calling police for her. Police came and she claimed in front of them that I committed home violence against her and children as well as she claimed that I am planning to kidnap children. So, police believed her and they issued a statement against not to enter home or to contact her by any mean or to see children without her permission for 10 days, then she gave an appeal to court to prolong this statement against me for another 30 days, court agreed, so I was about month and half away and I couldn’t see the children. Hence, I decided to divorce her. With a help of a lawyer, I managed to cancel this statement and to prove that all what she claim is just lying. On mid of Feb. 2017, we had our first court hearing to decide about children. When the judge saw that we didn’t reach for a mutual agreement about the children, so judge postponed this hearing for another term until we will reach for an agreement. Second of court hearing, I called her and I told her that I am ready to agree on what she wants regarding children, but mainly not to make any more troubles in order not to make children suffer because of our problems, she said to me to come home in evening to talk about all conditions. I did so. I went in same day in the evening and we sit together and we started to talk, after 3 hours talking and reaching for an agreement, she started to cry and she hold me not to go and she said that she still loves me and she is sorry for what happened and then she started to kiss me and she took me to the bed and for the first time after almost a year, we made sex. I didn’t believe my eyes and I didn’t believe myself, I felt that I am dreaming. Then, started to tell me how sexy am I, how attractive am I to her and she can’t imagine to have someone else except me. From my side, I showed her that I love her so much and for me she is the sexiest women I ever sas in my life. She told me that this blocks which she had against me are away, but she still doesn’t trust me!! We kept have sex everyday almost for more than a month. We continued on such harmony almost for three month, until she came with an idea to make a swimming pool in garden, I agreed on the idea, but we didn’t agree on when we can start to make it, then she alone went and ordered the swimming pool and signed the contract to start its construction immediately without taking my opinion or asking me. Even so, I didn’t make a problem and I started to handle it with her. We had a lot of problems because of it and due to my work commitments, I hadn’t have time to follow up everything, so she took on her shoulder finishing everything around it, but again we started to have conflicts and fights again that I don’t care and I am leaving everything on her and so on. Then, she started to ignore me again, she stopped having sex with me, she started to remind me again with my betrayal, she started to say that I am useless in her life … etc. I said to her that I go enough too and I wish to her to be happy with someone else. So, she took it seriously and she started to look for a different person on dating website, in few days she started chatting and dating with a guy who looks better, smart, handsome, rich. When I knew it, I was totally depressed and I tried to let her give me another chance, but she asked me to find another place to live because she is serious in finding another relationship with someone else. So, in few days, I found another flat and I moved there. But we agreed together to keep helping and assisting each other for the favor of the children. I kept helping her even if she has this relationship with the other guy. After almost three weeks, she told me that she breakup with him but it doesn’t mean that she wants me back and she now started with someone else. Actually, after talking with her, she doesn’t trust me anymore, she doesn’t find in me the man who she wants, but in same time she is keeping me asking if I have already any girlfriend, also she is checking my fb profile from time to another. So, I don’t know what should I do to get her back and to let her love me again. I totally crazy about her and I really love her from all my heart, but I don’t know if she will love me again or not. Please, I need help and advise. I am totally destroyed, although I am not showing her any sign of needy or being desperate or begging her or anything like it. Please help.