Help me..!!! 30days NC

reconciliation
1

Hello Mates

IN Few days My NC will end … Its 1 month of NC and i feel ok if she didnt want to come back … i dont feel needy anymore … i got better i made some friends also i have meet some girls had great time … i moved to my friends house for 2 weeks now and it made me feel so better … less thinking about her to not feel mad or sad about what she have done to me to push me away from her …

How i act after the breakup:
After 2 months pleeding , asking for forgivness , ask her to back to me i see this website and start NC … in 2 weeks i decided to give her a magic letter i found it by accedent it … it says :

           You know what.? I've been thinking , and i like everything about u except the last decision u made ... if u change ur mind call me

Her answer was :

No thanks DW ( Dont worry )

After that i sent her a video to watch and she said she might watch it later ( Which is she wont )

I decided to send her another magic letter and its like this :

            Want to tell you that you were right about the breakup...I guess we do need space....Amazingly something wonderful happened recently...I guess when things happen they happen for a reason...

Her answer was :
Have you got engaged ?
Also she have said that she never know what i am doing coz i havnt talk to her and i used to do nothing except play … i was planing to have a job but she said i dont need a job and i need to stay with her and i did … she have asked me lots of times to stay with her but after she got some online friends she left me …

Her reaction after the breakup :
She was fighting me alot about the bad stuff i made and i am pissing her off … one time she was talking like we are couple my mistake was , i said : we are not couple now remember … she was so pissed and hangup…

I can feel that she loved me and she still may have feelings all i remember is she mad about the stuff i made so i went to NC for 30 days this time …

Her reasons for the breakup:
1- we need space
2- i made bad mistakes
3- i went to chat on omegle ( she think i see baked girls in there )
4- i am not her type
5- She is busy with school
6- She dont feel the same way anymore

My plan to get her back:
I wanna pick some good reasons to text her and i dont know what should i say , i dont wanna look needy or anything so these som3 of what i was thinking to send and please help me with this :

1- “I went to sleep to get away from the thoughts of you, only to find you in my dreams”
2- Don’t take life too seriously, it’s not like you’re going to get out of it alive.
3- Love, is a scary thing. It’ll make your world or it’ll take your world. .
4- would you blame me for walking away?
5- “I want to be the friend you fall hopelessly in love with. The one you take into your arms and into your bed and into the private world you keep trapped in your head. I want to be that kind of friend. The one who will memorize the things you say as well as the shape of your lips when you say them. I want to know every curve, every freckle, every shiver of your body.
I want to know where to touch you, I want to know how to touch you. I want to know convince you to design a smile just for me. Yes, I do want to be your friend. I want to be your best friend in the entire world

If u have some magic letters please share coz i am out of anything atm …

@ChrisLovesChris @Libertine1 @Merchaunt @samuel @Kevin @vick @LilyMoon @Royce @LAbound
Everybody welcomed

2

i would just write
“hey i was,just wondering how youve been. Everything is pretty good on my end and i,hope youre doing just as well.”
simple, easy, no preassure

3

@LilyMoon wouldn’t be too awkward to ask about how she’s doing because she the one who dumped me so she the one who say that not me … right?

4

Dude are you serious???
Do you really thing that those quotes(oh… sorry “magic letters” will help you in this situation)?
First the reasons why she have broken up with you aren’t the reasons, lets describe…
Her reasons for the breakup:
1- we need space- what do you actually mean with we need space?
It is true that everybody need space but when you are with somebody you love to be with you don’t think about it that much… It is true that it is good for the relationship you need “some space” for your entire life like hobbies other friend’s studies and etc…But it should come naturally without o much explains the only reason for it can be “I make a better life for myself/ do what I like and is really important for me”, and still it isn’t an explain just a reason…
And I almost have forgotten to admit that you also should respect her in this subject…

2- i made bad mistakes
ok I don’t know which kind of mistakes, every body make some mistakes or others,the solution is not to stop specific those mistakes but to find ways to avoid doing things that deep inside you know that are wrong or in other language don’t let your emotions to control you and every time before you act think about the price you may pay better because of it. search in this blog “break up advice –> understanding your ex” again…

3- i went to chat on omegle ( she think i see baked girls in there )
In this case you can say that you have told her about things you do and she doesn’t like them… Next time just don’t tell her about hings you do which you know that annoy her and the problem is solve, and not it isn’t cheating!

4- i am not her type
so why has she dated you for the first place?? o.O
again it maybe be some actions that she didn’t like so you can read what I have written above and work on it and understand it better.

5- She is busy with school- ok so what? it is same as what I said in the “we need some space reason” after school she will be busy with other stuffs so what are you trying to say with it everybody is busy with something their whole life… it is just an excuse… not a reason…

6- She don’t feel the same way anymore
And before she felt? what happened? what changed it?
the answer to those question is the reason and not your 6th reason…

So… summing up before you are connecting her in anyway please re-think about the reasons and then decide…
maybe you should to continue the no contact a little more…
btw to write her a message it should be something short what you have thought by your own that may make her curious to meet you there is nice examples in this blog search for them and for the god sake re-read the 5 steps and the no contact plan.
oh and one really “magic letter” - not for sending to her but for you!!!
“the best advice you can get is not listening to any advice”
the main aim of it is not to acting in some way because somebody told you but because you have decided that it is the best for you…
oh and the comment what to write her above still seems to me better than the “magic letters” just do what you decide :wink:

5

@JeanValins I like what LilyMoon wrote

6

This girl sounds like a waste of time and very confused.

I think you news to create a false friendship with her and make her think you’re seeing other girls. Don’t chase her, make her chase you!

7

@Hope772 @Libertine1

I have post those examples to get better i know they are bad tho… i got the screenshot of the conversation between me and her and the reason why she is mad … what i wanna know is should i go for more NC days or weeks or i should think more of what good to say to her coz i’ve been thinking the whole day…

8

Ok wait, I need to say something before you do anymore damage. First off I commend you for not giving up and surrendering. But here is the flat out truth. You are acting needy. You have not changed and you still remind her of the same man (dont know if your a girl) that she broke up with to begin with. Pain is something you never ever forget. Its how we learn. You hurt her like she hurt you but she did that because she doesn’t want to be hurt anymore. First you have to accept this and this is going to sound bad. The relationship is dead, shot and buried. Sorry that is the truth. The good news is that you have a chance to start a new relationship with new romance but not with just anyone but her. So since you did the NC now you can start doing something.

Be a warrior. Sometimes they are defeated but they are not dead, if you go back fighting with your spear the same way. You will fail. You have to change YOU. You have to be STRONGER. I know you want to sound romantic but right now it sounds really sad not encouraging you have to encourage her. Support her. Tell her that listen I know its over. Its done but that doesn’t change the fact of our love for each other. (Not in the letter but in face to face) I know the relationship is dead. Its over. Do not be friends because that will give her a way for you to do stupid things without hurting her and caring about you and move on to someone else.

Right now do not listen to negativity. Do something different just do what you want. Get a job. Work out. Play games alot (works for me very well to encourage me to pretend to be a great warrior) But have you noticed all the great stories in the past? The best adventure games and books. Everything seems impossible even their loved ones left them, wanted nothing to do with them. But they never gave up but they had to change their crazy, stupid and dangerous path to be successful.

Same thing, but you must accept what is going on. You have to go through the flames and darkness to forge stronger. You seem like you are still an emotional state. How many warriors and great business owners win thinking more with only their heart and are very successful? Yes heart is extremely important, it helps you never to give up but your mind helps you to succeed. You need both but you are only just using one.

SO you really made a mistake, so what do you do? Dust yourself off, let her know sorry, I am just acting crazy. I just want you to be happy and maybe if your not too upset lets just talk for a moment of have coffee just as acquaintances. Do not mention friends. Going to a friend zone is the killer. Avoid the killer. Now you need to practice, work with your mind and with your heart TOGETHER. Not separately.

Right now the best letter you can say is short sweet and simple:

I was being crazy and not thinking rationally. I know the relationship we had is dead and in a way I am glad because there was a lot of pain and I wanted you to be happy and you were not. That doesn’t change the fact of the love we had. You are a great person and very attractive that is why you have my heart but for now I accept this. I see the future now and it’s great. I feel that it will be good. For now when you have a few minutes I just want to meet and talk like familiar strangers. Nothing about the past, nothing bad or what bad has happened. Either coffee or just kickin it like home boys by the police station (Joke) So it would be nice just to talk about work. Life and how bad the politics are going.

If it works. Or you begin talking hint things of the good. For example if you both loved skating together say something like man I was walking and I saw this kid on skates, Man he was really damn good. He did flips and I had to stop and just watch. (Just an example she will not care about the story too much she will think on what happened in the past) So use that.

Let me know how it goes. If you have to just put it in her mail box (yes I know there are legal issues on that) So have someone hand it to her but when you do, do not look pathetic. Look brave, look sharp, look handsome do not smile too much cause that looks too fake. Look like you are on duty. So tell me how it goes ok? We are all here for you.

9

That was great help i loved what u said … its just one thing … is it gonna work if i send it now coz we are LDR … and i was about to meet her she thought i wont come to see her but i was about to … she said she never know that i plan that … she kinda think to give it a try and in other side something pulling her to not to @Merchaunt

10

Merchaunt gave the best advice you will ever receive. Would love to know what you think of my situation, Merchaunt.

11

Whatever you guys need let me know. If you want to contact me directly. It is [email protected] Name is james but you can call me Merchant, My occupation is an adventurer, professional drinker, crazy lunatic. So let me know what you need I am not far from my PC. Never give up. Death and surrender is never an option. Let’s march on.

12

For now just fix the problem. First you must understand what the problem is. Really figure out the problem. For now forget about the relationship. I mean it as in put it to the side and write on the piece of paper why she will not meet me. Then find out ways on how to get her to. Really look back on you, not her and say what did I do and how to fix it. Then when you meet her be very formal and professional. Have a nice toy or token that belongs to you and at the end of the conversation give it to her and say this is for you. Do not explain the reason just do it and if she dosent want it lay it on a table and say well then someone will take it. Then wait. That is a hunter’s technique called giving a rabbit a chase. Its very difficult to catch it. However, if you chase it to the trap on the other side it will go there and SNATCH.

13

Send it now. Do it now. Let her know you changed and what you did was just a mistake. If you really truely love her. Really not like little teenage kids or young adults dating. If you know her love for you is true. Do it as soon as possible but not like your desperate just as in ooopppss. I screwed up here you go just wanna give ya this. So I hope you have a great day kinda thing. If she is sarcastic or tries to get you mad accept it and do not react. They are the ones who are gonna feel bad for doing so while you are humble about it.

14

Hello Hydragon, are you okay?

Avoid your group of friends or tell them that you need to just go out with them. Tell your friends you have to go out with them only. If they are true friends, they will understand and help you.

Also Make new friends, and respects the NC! As you said to your ex makes no difference but for us who are hurt and still love our ex, is very bad to continue living as a friend.

Good luck and stay strong