My ex girlfriend and I were together for 2 years - I am 30 and she is 27. Two weeks ago she broke up with me stating that she had to figure herself out and she wanted to have more fun in her life. At the time, it seemed to me to be the “grass is greener on the other side” syndrome. I’m somewhat convinced this is part of it. All in all, it was incredibly difficult to let her go, but I did.
Since the break up, she has been out partying more, hanging out with people who are not on her level, and taking part in risky behavior. My ex girlfriend always had a wild side before me. She slept with many people, drank and drove resulting in a DUI, and ended up in many horrible situations. I know for a fact that she is back to staying out late, partying, doing drugs, and drinking and driving, which will impact her career eventually.
Once she met me, she toned down the fast life. She met me after her DUI, so she had a lot to lose. What confuses me is that she has a Master’s Degree and is an addiction counselor. I don’t understand what is going through her head. Have you ever seen the Tyler Perry movie “Temptation?” I feel like it’s my life right now. To her, I represent predictability and security.
After the break up, I went cold turkey on her, meaning I did not initiate any contact. However, she has initiated contact with me every day since the break up. She asked me how I was doing, sent me pictures, and then even spent time with me. We spent last Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday together - initiated by her. We even slept together, which was probably a bad idea, but she said it was amazing - better than when we were together. On Wednesday, she sent me a text saying that she had a dream that we got married, and then when we spent the evening together she said she wanted to start over, but also date other people, but that she hoped I would stick around and wait for her. I said I could try to start over. She said she liked me better, that I seemed more edgy, and then I kissed her good night. Since then, she barely responds to my texts. She only sent me one to tell me that her dad’s seats to the baseball game were good (I got him tickets prior to the break up). What is going on? I’m hurting so much.
)and wondered why in ten years of ‘marriage’ did I have my first kiss with my now ex. I left but it took me TEN YEARS because every day I was hoping he’d get clean and come home to me. BS!!! Save yourself the trouble my friend. She’s making her bed let her lie in it alone! Is it your job to fix her life? NO! Is it your job to teach her how to live right? NO! Is it your problem at all? NO NO NO! Unless you make it your problem which may drive you to suicidal thoughts cos helping someone out of addictions is worse than going through AIDS yourself, at least that way you know you’re gonna die and you’ll respect living more. But with her, she’s a lost soul and unless you wanna play the martyr or you have too much pride to come out and say to your loved ones ‘I failed in my relationship’ (like stupid me), you’ll ruin your life and future for her and end up resenting her in the end and YOU WILL LEAVE even after 2-3-4 decades, YOU WILL LEAVE HER because it won’t make sense to love her anymore. I’m really sorry but your relationship with her if not already over should be over. And you should break up with her. You tried to save her and you can’t because of who she is. You said she was that way before she met you so how do you know that she won’t keep going back to the way she is now every few years? Is that what you want to do in your life, run after her? fix her? Is that someone you want to call ‘the mother of my children?’ … Be heartbroken that’s ok, we all do and it makes us stronger and see things clearer… but confused? no, You’re not confused, you know exactly what to do. Good luck! My thoughts are with you xx