Hey guys,
So I have posted a couple of times on here. We were together for 7yrs 6months engaged for 11months of that time. He broke up with me on my bday weekend and said it was because I treated him like crap. Then he told me it was because he loved me but wasn’t in love with me. Not even a week later he took a girl to the movies and he is now dating her. We have seen each other a couple of times after the break up and have had sex 1 time while he was in this new relationship. He says he loves us both and wants to be with us both. When we would see each other he would always complete about her that she didn’t give him any attention so I would thinking he would realize who has bee. There for him this whole time. My phone is under his name and my truck so he finally gave me the title to the truck but took my sound system out in exchange. After that he texted me saying to delete all the texts between us and he hopes I don’t tell his girl about us sleeping together. I was so upset because I was like wow he really cares about her feelings and not mine. He was like I hope she never finds out what a piece of shit I am. My reply was she will just like I did and he said Im glad you hate me so you can move on. Now I’m to the point where why should I look for him if I did nothing wrong he’s the one that decided to walk away and get into a new relationship. Don’t get me wrong I want nothing in this world to be with him but he doesn’t realize what he is doing is pushing me away because I feel unappreciated. What is your feedback or thought on my situation?
I have never had an experience like yours, but I can list down some possibilities and its up to you to think about it(because you know him better).
There are some factors that would make a man says “I love you, but not in love with you”. Either he is frustrated with something( that you did or happened during the relationship that brought the breakup phase), he fell in love with someone else and starts comparing both of you if the girl shows interest on him( at this point he thinks that he can choose which he wants the most).
My dear you should not have let anything but your dignity as a woman to be toyed by him even if you love him. Right now let your anger helps you to regain your dignity as a woman and as a person. Yes in this situation, it’s the right question to ask, why would you look for him? He’s cheated on you, slept with you, compared you and her in front of you face, you should be angry!
Right now, its okay to be ashamed and pick up the pieces of your heart that he broke. Right now, it’s okay to cry and regret, because tomorrow, you will not cry even a drop of tear for him. You’ll focus on yourself, how to feel good, how to become an attractive, a better person and a woman that every man respect.
Have fun, hang out with your friends, find new friends, new hobby, new activity, make sure to look more pretty than before. If you were not concerned about your appearance or healthy diet, start doing it. Being clean, healthy and pretty boost up your confidence up to 110%. Trust me. He will eventually see the new you and probably want you back, but hey ask yourself. Does he deserves you? At that point, it’s up to you to decide. I hope you’ll find a man that will treat you right.
All the best.
Exactly the same thing happened to me. It feels horrible.
Thank you for replying. I used to curse at him when I would get angry and kick him out of my house sometimes thats what he said got to him. I apologize for treating him the way I did and he accepted. He says he didn’t cheat on me he started taking her out to the movies after we were broken up and they have been going out for less than a week now. Yeah I was mad at myself because I was like I have done so much for this man and he didnt even care about it even after he broke my heart I was still there for him. He says he loves her but how can you fall in love with someone so quickly I dont understand. And he does compare us he says she reminds him of me. Before I started the NC he kept telling me that he wanted to be with me but was afraid of hurting me again or that I would get revenge on him I told him I would be willing to forgive and forget. But now that I have recided to step away I just want to better myself and feel good about myself I want to be Happy. I think after the NC is up Im not going to look for him I feel like he should look for me because I did nothing wrong he was the one that decided to leave. But the only problem is what if Im pregnant we had unprotected sex that night. Idk what I would do abortion is not an option though. Thank you I feel better that someone took the time to read and reply I appreciate it. Yeah I just tell myself if its meant to be its meant to be if not someone else will be. But I cant believe I let myself get so bad like where was my dignity and my self respect.
What I can suggest is, go with NC first. Try to change for your own good. Learn how to respect so that you will gain respect in return. Always treat people the way you want to be treated.
Regarding the abortion, there’s a chance you won’t get pregnant, so let it aside for a moment. Right now focus on your self.
Take care
Thank You One Love thats what I am working on also on my self.
Lia,
What happened did you guys get back together or no? I know I was so mentally unstable but I’m actually starting to feel better now because I’m thinking about myself. Plus he’s with another girl even if she is a rebound or not he is choosing her over me that shit hurts but there is nothing I can do but wait.