Hey everyone. So I haven’t been here much ah? Well there are HUGE news. But I didn’t wanted to get ahead of myself. And now I see I 'll still need help. Much of it.
So last saturday there was that event. I felt really bad for not going as, I thought, this was the perfect opportunity to get close.
So, later that day our mutual friends band was having a concert. I went with them. One of them is the mutual friend I have talked previously. We really connect, she and I used to go to the gym and all that.
Anyway He texted at dinner time saying sorry that I couldn’t go bla bla bla. I said no problem, and told him where I was. He said he wanted to come too but this were running late. I said concerts were running late too so he had time for sure. We texted a bit back and forth, I took it as a great sign he was texting me instead of any of his 6 friends that were also there. Lol.
He arrived and of coursed I went like “aaaah” like I saw an angel from heaven appearing in the middle of the crowd LOL. In my head, of course. I acted normal.
I got sad for a bit, thinking “great now we are here not even together”. But I only let that last a few seconds and thought I’m just going to be my happiest most confident self. I laughed, enjoyed the concerts, talked to people, tried to show how nice I am to everyone. Just enjoyed myself, and got a few drinks ahah, that helped too. The concert ended me and the girl went outside where there were these big tables and shortly after I got a text from him askign where we were. There was this seat beside me (HOW PERFECT?!). He came, and sat down. A bit later got up, another guy came, asked if he could sit. He went like nooo I’m there! xD I was like great! Now I know he really wants to be by my side eheh. So I kept being the HAPPIEST, MOST CONFIDENT person EVER. There are a lot of little cute details I could get into. Lets say he kissed my head when I spilled a drink all over me, I gave other guys some attention, and a guy was texting me and HE LOOKED! Everything was going perfect! He was really really near me, and he didnt need to. He was leaning towards me, his arm was basically in front of me, I even rested my head on his shoulder a bit eheh.
NOW it’s where it gets interesting! Most of our friends went to see another concert. Me, him and another guy stayed. I was thinking “I should go”… but I felt so good there, it felt the best to stay. We talked about motorcycles for like 20 min…
Theeeeen… I said something about that theme which I dont even remember now. He looked at me, answered to what I said… And fuckin STARED! Now, this is how he first ever kissed me. I was like oh boy… It’s THAT look! XD I was like omg looking around. He stretched his arm to hug me, I did too, I said “I miss you a lot” and he INSTANTLY KISSED ME. Like right away! Ihey! 
<3
I was a bit aprehensive but he asked “let’s see how it goes?” and I said yes. We proceeded to make out agressively in front of everyone with them making jokes. But we just didnt care xD we were looking at each others eyes, like we were so in love. I said to his ear that i liked him… he hesitated and said he likes me too. I truly think he wanted me to have said I love you. And I wanted SO BAD. But I was afraid to put pressure on our relationship. So this is my first question -> Should have said I love you right away? And go for it with no fears?
He asked if I wanted to stay that night at his house. I said yes. Again I was apprehensive but went and he didn’t really try anything. So I felt great about that. Cause I didn’t want to rush things.
Next day he took me home, I had some stuff with friends near a place he hangs out with his normally. So I said if he went there we could meet later. We did, were together for awhile and went home.
Monday, I waited for him to text first. Good morning text 
So good! He has been generally the one to text good morning ever since. We werent together, I didnt suggest it, and Im proud
Tuesday, he was the one to ask me if I wanted to meet. We were together for a few hours and he took me home.
Next day he already had plans, I didnt ask even, again. Note that this is a great difference from before. We were together every.single.day. and I would get mad if we werent together - I changed that.
Thursday I had invited im to go to a dinner. He kind of said no and made excuses. Then it turns out one of his friends from the band which I love was having a party for his birthday. I ended up not going to the dinner and met up with him to go to this friends birthday instead of my friends. Then we spent a few hours together and he took me home.
Friday, I was gonna have tutoring. Before I was gonna go to his house to pick something I needed up. Ends up my tutor failed, again. He invited me to stay so we studied together. But I felt maybe he asked because he felt I expected him to. I dont know. Then again he asked if I wanted to have dinner or go home. Again I have that same doubt. I asked “do you want me to just have dinner at my place and come back or have dinner here and go, or?”. He said “You can have dinner here if you want, but I wanted to sleep by myself”. This is something that he would do last time we dated. So I don’t take it as a big deal, when it hasnt been a week yet! But I did get sad and very worried about feeling he is afraid, that he just won’t tell me things like it is. My biggest fear is the lack of communication!
So he then realized I got sad, started hugging me, kissing me more, being more sweet, he was singing and stuff a bit. But NEVER, talked about it! -.-
At dinner I asked what else was he gonna do for the rest of the night. He said he was meeting up for a coffee with friends I was ok about it. Didn’t say anything, maybe just “nice”. After dinner he asked if I wanted to go too. I got SO happy. I was SO sad and insecure about the rest of the things and feeling he didnt really wanted me to be there. At the coffee he didnt give me that much attention. We were there for ike 2 hours. Then at the end we were going home, he asked if I wanted to sleep there.
I said… But, you wanted to skeep by yourself. He said yeah but I sad you got said. I said “that isnt why, I’m ok with that! I just feel we cant talk about stuff, You were nervous to tell me that and I don’t want you to! I want you to feel comfortable with me and to be honest, this is something that scares me. The communication. Thats why I told you before I think we should talk about things.” he said “we will just keep going and see, thats what I told you we would do”.
Anyway I nodded, we went home, slept together. He kissed and hugged me in the middle of the night.
Today we woke up watched some tv, he was a bit distant, wasnt hugged to me or anything. Took me home, told me to tell him something. I still didn’t.
Today I have a BD dinner. I invited him tuesday or something, he said yes. Turns out he is going with his friends to a dinner (they already had schedule doing something today but he wasnt sure what it would be), and he told me (a few days ago) he just said “about saturday we are going for dinner”. Just that. I didn’t say anything about it.
Ok so now these are my worries:
-> There is a lot of sexual tension and I’m afraid we are spending more time making out then talking and going out together to build a real couple relationship.
-> I keep reading when you get back you should talk. About what each one wants from the relationship and each other. What each other feels like, what we have learned… He got back with an ex before, I never did. Should I go with what he wants (not talk) and let him guide our relationship like I should have done the first time? (I let my insecurities guide it the last time -.-)
- But I do feel at some point I might have to really talk anyway cause I even started crying again and feeling depressed, unwanted, insecure even a bit, again.
-> I have plans to go to this singers concert next week. We had great moments listening to him. Its really romantic. Should we go? I want to tell him I love him on that concert. Should I?
-> Any other general tips you have for me? I appreciate them immensely. I want to help everyone get where I am: The opportunity to try again. But right now I can’t with my head. I need some help and tips from you again. I hope I get to a point in my relationship where its going again, and I can write a FULL topic about how I got back, and what to do once you do to get your relationship back on track, with the good of the previous one, and not the bad. But now I need your help 
Thank you
