Halfway back together! How to get him to commit?

reconciliation
1

Hello friends :slight_smile:
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted here. I was so lost a few months back and I’ve glad this forum exist while I’m at worse, to know that we’re real people giving each other some advices is really helpful.

Just a quick summary,me and him broke up last year June. We stayed friends and I started no-contact rule and just simply live life for myself. Thorough the journey we would contact each other sometimes, just a little catchup. Our breakup was mutual in a way,there’s not much negative emotions attached when it all ended.

Present: We started seeing each other again! :slight_smile: It was during October when we met for a heart-to-heart thought and we both realise we’re still so in love with each other. Our connection was strong and genuine. After that day we really got back in touch and it was the best feeling ever. I tried my back to not to hope too much, but he was the one that started to make it our of the way to show me, he wants me in his life.

We chatted, we called, and hung out a lot of times after that. And things are just getting better. But we did sit down and talked about what should we progress next. As he is going overseas to study soon. In this case, we’re simply just too young and still on our way to get our life together. We were together for 3 and a half years before. We both kind of dated someone else during our ‘break up period’ and agreed that there’s no connection so precious like ‘Us’.

We just came back from a trip, just the two of us. And everything was perfect. But he became cold afterwards when we came back home. Like a completely different person. He have been hot and cold all this while. Whenever I started to get attached he pulls back. Because I was too clingy and emotional wreck last time the led to our breakup. I want us to work out so bad, but I know he’s not ready. And I’m still an insecure person and working hard to better this negative trait. Just need some advice on…what do you guys think of him? It’s been more than a year since we broke up, so enough time has passed. I’m just a little confused now, but my mind is sure on what to do next.

Any insights would be appreciated! :slight_smile:

2

Sounds like he’s picking up on your insecurities and as you said it’s what broke down the relationship last time. We all get a bit insecure don’t be hard on yourself… But be aware and pull back where needed. Take this very slow. It wouldn’t hurt to just ask him what are you wanting? But try to do it without cornering him just see where he’s at. Tell him what you want say you’re prepared to take this really slow but you don’t want to waste your time either… Which I feel is very fair. Good luck ?

3

Thank you for your reply… I’ve been feeling so down lately I really needed some insights on what to do next. I wanted us to work out so badly, moreover this is our second chance I don’t want to lose it. But since I’m so emotional now I figure to give it all some time. I miss him so badly. We just came back from a trip together last week, and during that entire trip he was so caring and sweet we were just so happy together. Now that we’re back to reality again he became a little distant, but we kept in touch and make plans for Christmas.

I’m afraid it’s just my insecurity again that makes me over think. But like you said this kind of things takes time. I hope I’m strong enough to get through this period. I still want him in my life.

4

I think it will be best for you to take things slow from your side, let him come to you. He already knows that you wanna be with him and try the relationship so let him come to you and in the mean time you should work on your insecurity and not overthink. You need to look at the positive side, you have to realize how far y’all have come from what it used to be. You need to trust yourself and be the best person you can be not just for him but for yourself. The main reason behind him being distant might be because of the insecurities that you might have, you have to work on that and change it to be a better person. Good Luck