getting her back eventhough shes dating another guy

reconciliation
1

Hello Kevin .great article. I would really like some advice from you. So I broke up with my girlfriend nearly 9 months ago last January. We were really good friends with her and her siblings. were one of them was my coach when doing kayak . She was 2 years older than me . So we started dating on a difficult period of my life. I didnt have a lot of free time because I was trying to get into university . I really admired her for that . There are not many people who would have stayed to a relationship for over 15 months while having to get over so many difficulties. After the hard times our relationship became better and better until the last month that we eventually splitted up. As a person I knew her very well . she is very kind and a really Happy person but really sour if you dont know her well, she is truly amazing. But despite all that she didnt treat me very nice when she broke up with me. The worst part was when she came to our competition s and barely said hi to me(but talked to the guy that eventually started dating). 4 months after the brake up I learned that she was hanging out with a guy that was a competitor of mine while doing kayak. I know him personally and we both me and my ex know for a fact that he doesn’t treat women well . also they had kissed 7 years ago. i beleive its a rebound relationship not sure but for some reason I was heart broken and ennoyed.She knows what kind of person he is and she still goes out with him . Beside that one of my brothers girl friends who is 15 years old showed me messages he sent . he was inviting her to go out and… He is 23 .you see the problem .he is also datng my ex. I am really hurt from all of this situation but I still want her. What do you suggest. Is it finished??

P.s. the reason I wrote this is because for the first time a week ago she posted a photo with him from an excursion (and also her brother posted one picture with the 6 persons that went on that excursion ). I was told from others that she was dating him before but didnt really believe it . We had talked about him and how bad as a person he is. We were dating 2.5 years.

P.s.2 I know she is single and can do as she pleases but do I forgive her when after saying all those things for him she still ended up with him.?

P.s3 I hadn’t talked to her since the competition that was at July. The next time she texted me happy birthday at August and then I called her for her nameday at 1st of september. after the break up I tried once getting her back but I beleive the timing was bad.

2

@komninos - The only thing you can do is to talk to her about what went wrong, and together think of ways to fix it. Good luck.

3

Her relationship with that guy isn’t going to last. Especially if he is texting another girl, who is 15 on top of everything else.

A 23 year old texting a 15 year old is not OK if is about the subject matter one would expect. As the 15 year old is your brothers girlfriend, has your brother told her to tell her parents about the texting if there is an issue with improper texts? Someone should talk to somebody about it.

In any case, I don’t see that relationship lasting. She obviously knows you are still interested, the best you can do is work on your own life and to be as happy and successful as you can be. When her relationship with the other guy falls apart, she might come back at that point. I wouldn’t have much contact with her before that, given her behavior.

If you tell her you are willing to have a relationship even after being with this guy now, you will seem like a doormat who doesn’t stick up for himself. That is not appealing. I’d suggest working on making your own life better and if she comes back, tell her you’re willing to have a relationship (if you are) but only if she is honest and you can talk through what happened before. And you would want to tell her something needs to change going forward.

She has chosen a guy who is controlling (or uncontrolled himself) and so she is likely looking for someone to “lead” in the relationship.