So we began working together this past Monday and I cannot lie I felt my heart beating so fast as soon as we saw each other. But I did not go back to my old job for her, it makes the most sense for me to be there.
So basically the first day I did not speak to her much and she initiated all conversation whenever we were alone. She asked me how I was and what I was doing with myself and seemed pretty excited about my progress.
I also am sporting a new haircut and I am 20 pounds lighter since she last saw me and she noticed and complimented me on it.
Then when we went home that day we took the train together and she asked me if I was seeing anyone. I responded no not really. And then I asked her what about her. She told me her and the guy who lives in Florida ( and she has only seen twice) are still talking and I’m not going to lie I was shocked. So I asked her is it serious, and does she see it ending with marriage in the long haul to which she replied she thinks so.
It crushed me to hear it but I told her I was happy for her and then she brought up us and how she is happy that he she doesn’t have to see him often because of how we were when we were together at work. So I asked her does she trust him and she said they text nonstop and with that she believes he doesn’t have time to do any cheating. ( in my head I laughed but I didn’t say anything out loud). She said that she could never trust me and that is why she couldn’t see us getting back together again, even though I never cheated or even thought about it. She just listened to office gossip rather than the guy she supposedly loved.
So here is where things get more interesting. We began texting and I told her that I was still in love with her and that it would be best if we stopped conversing at work as if nothing has changed. We could just only be strictly coworkers… The next day she tells me a few things which made me come to the conclusion she is as confused as I am.
First she says that a woman who is infatuated with me at work missed me and was happy to see me. To which I replied “I don’t care” ( this is a person she also claimed I was sleeping with)
Next she started playing with my hair and told me she loved how it looks on me and that she thought I looked great with it.
And lastly she told me when we were alone that she still loved me a little bit but the bad of our relationship outweighed the good. She also told me she got my letter and she kept it in her drawer at home. And thanked me for saying what I said.
The thing is these actions have me so confused because even after I told her we need to establish boundaries the next day she is showing me pictures of her in her phone from snap chat, playing with my hair, and then telling me to wait up for her so we can go home together. In my head she is trying to have her cake and eat it too with me and him, but she is also confused. Me being back there has her confused about her feelings and she doesn’t know how to act. I’m honest with her that seeing her after 40+ days of no contact has me shook and struck in love again.
What I plan on doing is just telling her all of this. I know she is in love with me and is confused but she can’t string me along by flirting with me and taking advantage of my feelings. I plan on putting my foot down, and telling her it’s either me or him and if you choose him then we can never be friends again and we strictly have to work together as professionals. I know she is angry that I denied my feelings for her and taking the next step for so long but I was never in love before and I did not know how to be vulnerable and a “man” at the same time. But her doing this now is similar by denying her feelings when her actions aren’t matching up.
Thanks for any advice