Hello everyone,
I’m in a very complicated relationship and desperately need some help! We began dating almost 4 years ago when we met abroad in college. We fell madly in love but she ended up having to leave the country before me so we decided to commit to a long distance relationship. In total time apart it was around 1 year with periods of being together and separated again but every single time we came back to each other we felt so much love still.
A year and 4 months ago we finally were able to be together for good and I moved to be with her. She was worried that I wasn’t committed and truly my head wasn’t fully there but I still loved her so much. After I moved I dealt with struggling to find a job that made me happy but I finally got into something good almost 1 year ago. I was not giving her the love she deserved even though we still spent all of our time off together.
We had a mutual friend that she worked with that she ended up being able to spend a lot of time with over the last 6 months due to the hours I worked. He was engaged to be married but broke it off after he realized he wasn’t truly in love.
About a month and a half ago I felt her distancing herself from me and realized something was up. She told me that she was no longer in love with me and that she didn’t feel the spark anymore. She wanted to break up. I thought there was no way she was sleeping with him until about 2 weeks ago I confronted him and found out otherwise. She had been sleeping with him for about a month before we “broke up”. She and I had a conversation a week ago, she knows I still love her to death but she now has feelings for the other guy.
I am still living with her but we have a long time left on our lease and it’s been so hard on me. She sleeps at his house once or twice a week but the rest of the nights stays at home. It has been torture but I’ve finally been picking myself back up over the past week or so.
She booked a weekend vacation about a month ago and I found out he had gone with her although that was not the original plan. She comes home tomorrow and I’m still so unsure of what to do. I want her back so badly and can still feel the connection when we are together, even though she’s been avoiding spending time with me. She has ignored a lot of my texts sometimes even though I haven’t been overly needy or pushy. I continue to give her some space at the moment but am not sure how to act now. She wants to spend time with me as “friends” but it’s not a lot of time.
We went to a movie together last weekend and had a great time. She whispered quirks in my ear during the movie and rested her head on me for the ride home but when we got back I could tell she didn’t want me to make a move. Does anyone have any advice on what to do now? I don’t want to push her away because I think she’ll fall right into his arms and distance herself further from me but I also don’t want to be too pushy about my feelings towards her because it’ll scare her off. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. She backs off when I try to invite her to do stuff too often so I’ve tried to keep it to a minimum.
My birthday is coming up soon (October 22nd) and I know she wants to spend some time with me for it but don’t know how I should act. I feel that I need to get her to a point where she’s fully comfortable spending time with me but need to be careful.
Please help me! Anyone!
Thanks,
Bryce