I’ve posted a similar thread in NC section with a question regarding whether or not to break the NC so if possible help me out there cause I need an answer ASAP!
My gf and I have been together for almost 3 years and I love her more than anything else. Our relationship has been going very well, she is the closest thing in my life (even more so than my family) and even our friends look up on us as a couple.
However I have a strong fetish that made me unable to give her the sexual satisfaction she needs. I’m obsessed with watching public girls desperate for the bathroom (search it up on the internet, it actually a thing). I told her about it when we started dating and she accepted me as who I am.
Things went downhill when I got too obsessed and started filming girls waiting outside public toilets. I will not spare the details here, but she figured I might do it again after she caught me. I do not want my obsession yo ruin my relationship and I’m willing to change for her, even though it’s like fighting a drug addiction. Also, please don’t judge me.
After she dumped me more than a week ago I did all the crying and begging (as anyone normal would) cause I really love her and want her back by my side. One day after this sudden break up(I didn’t see it coming), I also did a grand public apology on FB (showing me holding a big sign on top of a hill), it moved a lot of people but it definitely didn’t change her mind. I told her I’d change but she said she wouldn’t want to risk her happiness on me. When she dumped me she was the calm one and I was the one crying my eyes out and broken into pieces (even having suicidal thoughts). She also calmly said “I do not love you anymore” in front of me and turned my world upside down.
I started NC a week ago without notifying her that I “need some space” or anything. I left a bad impression (the needy, desperate guy) on her before I started NC. So she’s been texting me here and there and I didn’t reply at all.
Will she be back if I change my voyeuristic sexual behavior? I told her I would but she wouldn’t want to take the risk. Her aim is for me to stand up from the break up, live a new life and find another girl (which was what she explicitly stated). But my aim is to stand up and live a new life with her again, because she means the world to me. Now I feel empty without her even though NC helped a lot I don’t know how long I can last.
What is my chances of success? We were very closed together but she was also very keen on breaking up.
Kindly give me your opinion, guys or girls! Any advice? Again pls help my thread on NC as that’s more urgent now!!