Dreamy guy turned cold and harsh - I am devastated

We had a blazingly beautiful affair. We were best of friends. We started off in a long distance relationship. He called me hundreds of times and we talked a lot, meaningful conversation. Fun. We could insult each other playfully and spend hours just looking at each other over skype, we enjoyed talking so much. We met once a month and those were beautiful days. After a while I decided to switch jobs and try to find one close to him. He kept asking me to come as the long distance thing was very painful and he was already in his dream job at the university and could not move.
After giving up my job it was difficult to find one and I was holed up for six months. He came to visit me in the meanwhile and we had few awesome days. But lately we also had a lot of fights, over him being constantly too busy. It was difficult for me to adjust to him suddenly being so preoccupied with work. Very recently, I got a job in the same university as him. We were so happy, hoping this would bridge the gap. Yet it has somehow complicated things more. He took it for granted I stay in the same place and rarely wanted to catch up. We have plenty of time to catch up after work at night but he would rather spend it with others. We hardly talked and the fights escalated. He broke up with me. He seemed so irritated by me and called me clingy and needy, completely ignoring that I am new to the place and have no friends other than him. I tried talking it out, wouldn’t help. I suggested couple trip somewhere, and he refused and invited some of his friends including one bastard I hate to come along later. The trip is on the cards. Meanwhile when I initiate no contact, he makes an excuse to call me for informing something as silly as he is off to meet a friend, or something else. A few days ago he called to ask if I was alone at the time. I confirmed and immediately he drops me a text accusing me of lying to him saying he saw me with someone just then. I tried to meet him and clarify but he made it seem like it didn’t matter to him. I tried to make it up, he temporarily agreed and then switched off on me. I went to see him next morning. He was ill behaved and told me to leave him alone. Then I dropped him a text saying I am defeated and exhausted now trying to make him love me and I give up. He suddenly came over to meet me at lunch but was as arrogant as ever. I stopped talking to him some time and he edited a pic of me and messaged me suddenly. i said a thanks. i later dropped him an email saying if he wanted to work this out, we could meet and forgive and forget, just like we have stuck with each other so many times before. If he didn’t want to meet me, i would understand he didn’t and move on. He came to meet me. but said he only came to clarify that he did love me but he didn’t want something serious in the next few years.he wants to only work on his career and have casual flings with other women. he wants to get back later or something. i don’t know why he came or what this even means. no contact is difficult as we work in opposite laboratories. we also have a trip with common friends coming up where i am the organizer. what should i do? Our common friends can’t even believe, he who loved me so much can break up for real. i dropped him a stupid mail today asking him to take me back. i am going nuts.
I have a been hanging out with one of his colleagues. He is fun and friendly and we hang out a lot as friends and have been to his place too. I don’t know if this affects my ex. He has been silent on this. PLEASE HELP.

Please help anyone… I am close to losing my mind. I think I am.

Suggestions would be really appreciated :frowning: suffering a lot.

I think it is time to work on yourself. Stop concentrating on him. As hard as it sounds, it does get easier. I was with my boyfriend for 3 years. We still love each other, we still want each other in our lives, but we also want to figure our lives out. It drove him crazy when I did NC with him just this week. Now he is being kind of stubborn, but I’m not giving into it. Now is my time. Now is your time. Concentrate on your career and this guy friend of yours. Concentrate on getting yourself better and making yourself happy. You need to do that before having a relationship. He will reach out sooner or later. There is going to be a point when you just don’t care anymore. I’m going through that right now and it makes things easier. It just isn’t worth it. Once he realizes you don’t care, then he will fight for you back. Promise.

thank you ellie… and i hope NC works for me as well. your story just gave me some confidence ! thank you…