Draft long msg to send to my ex after NC 30. Really need guys opinion or view.

no-contact-rule
1

Hey guys. I really need boys opinion and view. What if u guys who the one want to break up with ur girls and do the silent treatment towards ur partners and ur partner give this to u? I draft this msg want to give to my ex before christmas which is one month i finish my nc

“Hey A,
How are u? I hope u feel well and i hope ur work is getting better…i miss a lot about ur story. I did remember u always mumbling and laugh for hours about ur works and tiredness and what u need is vacation to feel relaks….i miss everything from u.

I just wanna know…whats wrong…? I feel right now u already hate me because u dont want to talk to me, see me or even dont care i exist. Do u wanna talk about hows ur feeling or anything?

When u behave like this to me, i tried my best to understand ur anger, i tried my best to give ur space to calm urself and i tried my best to reach u to discuss about this situation. I tried to calm myself so that i can find my weakness that made u feel like this. However to be honest, i cannot guess why u behave like this towards me. Im not mind reader my dear.

I appreciate that I upset you. I understand when people said that “when u feel angry, remain silence. Because u dont want to hurt people with ur words”…but silence is a barrier in our communication. U left me without any words. Even tho i try to understand u but the way u punish me like this with ur silence is not fair because i dont have any chance to explain whatever mistakes i did and u dont tell me whats ur problem that make u feel this way. How can we address this matter in the future?
Im willing to adjust my behavior to make our relationship better.

No matter what, its not too late to say thank you my love for allowing me to love u sincerely and knowing u for 13 years is an honour. Thank you my love for asking me to pray good things for u and asking me to pray so that u can be my leader future which is as husband in our next level relationship. I never stop praying for u and us. Because thats the only thing i can do for u besides helping you through thick and thin, be there for you when u laugh and sad, loving u regardless.

Some girls want ur money, advantage and ur beautiful appearance, i dont want all that. I just want one thing from u…forgiveness. Forgive me for everything that i have done. Forgive me for breaking your heart. Im sorry coz I didnt realize that this meant so much to u and that my take on it failed to account for ur feelings.

I wanna let u know that im there when u need me. I always try to support u through thick and thin. I wont take advantage of u. I dont want to place any pressure on u. In fact, i will offer to help with anything needed. I try to give ur space that u need whenever u are not ready to discuss this unpleasant topic. I just want u to know i really want to make this thing right. I mean it. I dont just say and then fail to turn up.

However if u want me to leave, i will try to leave. I will try not to disturb u and i will try not to burden u even tho i dont have any reason or explanation to leave u. I will try to accept whatever u want me to do. I do love u. So much. I always pray the good things for u even tho in long distance.

If you showed me at your worst at first place, and Im still survived and Im still in love with you, I believe I will be deadly willing to be with you if you give me a chance to see your best.

Once more…forgive me. I will be flying. Before something happen in the air, i have a chance to say sorry. take care. ”

So how is it? Too much or almost ok?

2

oh God this is awful! Do NOT send your ex this letter. It is going to make him think you are weak and desperate. This is the kind of letter that you burn after you write it. Telling him that you love him over and over again will not do anything to help the situation. He knows that you love him and yet he still chooses to cut you out of his life. Treat him the way he is treating you. A month is a very long time to ignore a significant other. I’m guessing he thinks that he is single and used his cold-hearted actions to relay that message to you. Let him be. If he wants you, he will make it known.

3

@redvelvet

Oh God. Im very bad at this. Sigh. Really sorry for asking about this awful letter. I thought i could make it clear about it with him. Yah im doing my Nc since 18/11/2015 and he make silence treatment towards me since 31/10/2015 (almost two months). In fact, he even hates me a lot. I have no idea why. I wont send this letter. But i will make surprise meeting with him through my bestfriend on January 2016 which is after nc 2 months to settle this thing.

What do u think?

4

I think it is a great letter. Now burn it. You will feel alot better. No matter what you say in a letter is going to work. I suggest stay nc till he contacts you. Work on yourself and soon all these emotions will subside. And if you do a surprise meeting with him is only going to piss him off more. Bad idea. Do not contact him. You will only feel worse. Hope this helps

5

Guys don’t think like us girls so that letter would have worked for a girl but not a guy lol. Glad you aren’t sending it! It would only push him away more and that’s the last thing you want. There is a chance that by January he will have gotten past his negative feelings so yeah I’d surprise him and see what happens. He hasn’t reached out to you at all?

6

Yah. He didnt reach me at all. In fact, he seems even hate me even more. He doesnt want to talk about me when he is with my friends. He doesnt want to hangout with them if i were there.

Here my story (summary)

Long ago, A (my ex bf) was best friend’s with D (a guy)but now D, who doesn’t speak to A, is best friends with K (a guy) who is also the best friend of me. A is jealous of the friendship between D and K but he’s okay with the friendship between me and K because he thinks K is a nice guy. Unbeknownst to everyone but K, D gets sick and goes to the hospital. K wants to go visit D but doesn’t have a ride so he calls me on 28/10/2015 to drive him to the hospital but doesn’t tell me that it’s all about D. At the hospital, I accidentally meet D when I drop off K and everyone panics. D and K make me promise not to tell A that I provided transportation for K to go see D but two days later (30/10/2015) the guilt is too much and I confess to A anyway. A is now giving me the silent treatment from 31/10/2015 until now (its been almost 2 months)

A contacts my girl besties on 1/11/2015 behind my back and he said he was very upset with me because I met D and didnt tell him right away about D’s sickness. But he said to my girl besties it was just temporary and when he is ok with me, he will contact me. So i waited. But its been a month he didnt even pick up my call, my text, my voice note and he didnt even try any effort to contact me. I start to do Nc from 18/11/2015 until now. Almost a month.

Right now, K and my girl besties are pissed off with my ex bf because the way he being silence without telling anything towards me and they cannot stand how painful i am right now. So K want to make a surprise meeting. K will ask some of A’s members to persuade my ex bf to meet D and D is fine to meet for the first time after they have issue to settle everything between them. At the same time, my friends ask me to be there without telling my ex bf. Its like a secret and surprise meeting. Because, if he knew i will be there, they afraid my ex bf will not show up.

The goal of this meeting to break the silent treatment if he still does it and want to settle all the misunderstanding and anger. And i want to know whether he wants me or not. Its not like fighting meeting scenes. We (me, my ex bf, D, K and my girl besties) just sit and discuss on table.

So do u think 3 months silent treatment from him and 2 months nc from me without sending him any letter and do surprise meeting with him, he will be ok with me? Any chance?

7

@redvelvet

8

“No matter what you say in a letter is going to work.”…why? And how its going to work?

Really? This meeting will be bad idea even after 3 months no contact? I mean…i just need an answer. Its just like normal meeting and not fight. I know its a very bad idea but his bestfriend also want to meet him to settle his problem. Sigh…i dont contact him at all almost 1 month. What if he didnt contact me at all?

9

@mathersm59

10

What answer do you want exactly?

And about not knowing why he “hates” you (it probably isn’t about hate), relationship fails are never one sided so I’m sure you can figure out why he drifted. Or he just didn’t have strong feelings. Deep down you probably know why. Unless you are very young then you might not know. Anyway I’m sorry for what you are going thru

11

@kaila

Hey there thank you for ur lovely reply. I just want to know why he do this silence treatment. Is it really because of his bestfriend? I did only one mistake about his bestfriend and its accidentally mistake. I did apologize. Then why he seems so hate me? What did i do now? I want to move on but without explanation? Its very hard. Im 24 yrs old. If he didnt has strong feeling we did a lot together i helped him a lot. If he just use me then why he spend so much time with me tho? I didnt know anything dear. I tried to understand but the way he became so hate me makes me wanna know why? Its like i did criminal things.

12

I meant isn’t going to work. Whatever answer he gives you is not going to be an answer you want to hear. Its going to bring you nothing but pain. Stay no contact.

13

@mathersm59

I am in pain right now. With Nc, with being left out without no solid reason and i cant do anything to fix it at all. ? Now im so stress because they are so pissed off and they insist to make meeting to settle down and while im like…im so stress because i feel like there is no chance at all.