This is going to be a long post, apologies! I just want to make sure you have all the details because I really am conflicted on what I should be doing.
I dated my ex for only two months. We met on tinder. In that time we had a very emotional relationship. Unfortunately the day after before first date his mother passed away. She had been unwell for a long time. He told me all about his mum on the third date. Of course I told him I would understand if he wanted space but he insisted he wanted me around because I have been making him happy. I tried to support him as much as possible, even helped him write his funeral speech. We continued to date, he took me on the most beautiful dates, places I’ve never heard of- some were even hours drives away. We spoke every day and facetimed most evenings. He met my family and told me he loved them, he had never felt as comfortable with a girls family before and often told me he wished he met me sooner because he wasted so much time with the others. He even insisted one day we’d be living together and was looking at booking holidays together.
I thought everything was fine however I receive a text from my friend saying she had spotted my ex on tinder, now this didn’t surprise me since we were not “official”. However when she showed me his profile he had uploaded brand new photos from the weekend before, which means he was still actively swiping. I wouldn’t mind however he was constantly telling me I was “the one”. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I confronted him. Just in a jokey way asking if he was still on tinder, thats when he blew up. Accusing me of all sorts one but he wanted to meet in person to talk about it. The next day we met, thats when he said he wasn’t sure he had enough time to give me since he started his new job and everything thats happened with his family. We agreed on giving him space, but this is where I messed up. I bombarded him with messages saying how I would support him and I understood everything thats going on. After a week went by I asked him for an answer one way or another. He said he was sorry for not being in touch but he just doesn’t see us working due to how needy I was.
I implemented the no contact rule, 34 days. Being very active on social media, he views my stories within 5 minutes of me posting them every time. To break no contact I sent him a quick apology stating how I’ve learnt how my actions after the break up pushed him away and how I understand why he made the decision he did. I heard nothing back. However that night he sent me a drunk snapchat asking me how I was. I was asleep when he sent it so I replied in the morning to which he also ignored. I’m guessing he meant it for someone else? I wished him merry christmas as it was the first christmas without his mum. He responded saying thank you and hoped I had a nice day too.
Since then I’ve not heard anything since. I really am not sure where to go from here. Is this worth fighting for? I guess I am so caught up on him because of how emotionally involved I was from very early on. I miss him so much. I have heard about sending a letter, should I try this?
Help!