Did I push her too faraway....? Please Help...

no-contact-rule
1

I hope I am not making my story too confusing…
So…she dumped me and said she still loved her ex. I was sad of course but was ready to move on.
However, the next day, she suddenly texted me, saying that she and her ex hadn’t got back together (and she had this big fight with her mother, who didn’t approve her ex)
And she asked me if I could forgive her and reconsider our relationship.
I said ok and agreed to meet up in a couple of days instead of meeting her that night (because it was the first day at my new job…and I wanted to play it cool….)
But that night, she texted me again and said she was going to get drunk on her own because she was upset about her argument with her mom.
I said, “It’s too dangerous. Don’t do that. Just get back home after work and call me. We will meet in just a few days, right?”
She still didn’t comply and our texting went back and forth.
Eventually, I told her, “I can’t take it anymore. I love you but I don’t want to be treated as a rebound. We even agreed to re-start our relationship but then you had to threaten me by putting your own life in danger.”

She texted and begged me not to go, saying she wouldn’t go drinking. That night she sent me tons of text messages, called me many times and left a bunch of voicemails. But I replied to none of them…
The next morning I read her text messages and listen to the voicemails in which she said she was totally heart-broken and that was the real goodbye. I left her a message saying that she was probably confused right now for not being able to get back with her own ex (the one before me) and due to the huge fight with her mom.

I texted her, “give yourself a month to heal and make up your mind. During this period of time, I will endure the heartbreak and not get involved in your life. If after 30 days you still love me, find me. If not I wish you all the best and a great boyfriend.”
She hasn’t replied since. (That was 3 days ago)
All of the above happened within 3 days.
I want her back so much and hope that she will eventually love me wholeheartedly.
I know I am currently doing No Contact and should focus on building a better version of me. But I wonder if this will make her come back.

Thanks guys : ). Great to feel a sense of community here too.

2

Hi Lwsy2209,

You sound like you handled yourself quite well. In such a short time the NC seems to be already working a bit. I sense quite a bit of maturity with your decision to work on yourself at the moment and not wanting to be the rebound. Carry on, I’m at the 3 day mark of NC also and trying to stay strong. Anxiety, sadness and feelings of desperation keep popping up, however how can I go back to what was not working right! Get her back and make it a new beginning if you still feel the same down the road.

In your corner!

3

Thank you so much your support. It really means a lot to me.:slight_smile:
Hang in there, my friend.
I hope you will find great love too.
All the best!

4

I must say i am impressed how maturally and balanced u have handled the whole situation. You were thoughtful towards her by saying that she shouldnt go out deinking (considerate) and u made sure u were not her door mat. A big bravo to u.
I think u are doing great. And no u didnt push her too far. U were very clear with ur feelings. She knows u love her and want to be with her but not like this ( her being confused and not knowing what she wants).
I think she will contact u in a month or earlier. If not , dont panic. Coz she knows her deadline is a month and she might wait to see a reaction from u. And if u dont contact her, she might start thinking u moved on… And if she really loves u, she will not let u go from her life … :slight_smile:
I hope she comes back and if she doesnt, hope u meet someone else who is exceptional and will make u happier :slight_smile:

5

Thank you so much.
Sometimes it’s really hard to maintain the same level of faith and confidence in the process.
But during our rather short relationship (It lasted for just a week, but we made commitments and almost saw each other everyday), I could really feel the connection between us.
Letting go may be easier but I really have to give it one more shot before moving on.
Thanks again and I hope you can find an amazing relationship too. :slight_smile: