I have quite a long story to tell, but at the very important thing at this point is, i am in day 29 of no contact and being very very sensitive about it lately. I don’t really know what to do when this ends. So the situation is my ex-gf has had enough of me asking for her time and being angry to not getting what i want. And for me i think ive got not enough of her time. There is a reason for this bcos i havent even been to her house to meet her parents or even her friends (i’ve been with her for 1 year 4 months) and i feel very neglected. I’m also a working person doing a tight job and i can make time for her, all the time. Well when the break up happen it didnt went well, since i am again very angry finding out what she did that i have no clue about in the last month (I have been moving to another city last november to get a more stable job, whith her in my mind : Im gonna stablize my finance in half a year, gonna get back to her parents home in a year and plan to propose after some while) , even i didnt even know she have been moving to new house for a month. I’m frustrated and threatened her (even i didnt mean in my heart, i just need a private talk with her). This part is where i kept on being thinking about and im regretting every second of this no contact period. I dont even dare to remember the sweet and good part of our relationship. The thing is i want to be better and i know the no contact rule is supposed to me being able to let go. But for me i just love her so much more and i know i am a different version of me 1 month ago. But here is the thing, after no contact im supposed to be able to let her go, so when i reach back out (since she didnt) i have to be able to accept whatever answer she give. I’m not ready, but im also dying to reconnect with her, i need my partner back.
Ps. i even use my real name here, i never fake anything in my life
Being with her for over a year and never meeting her family or friends seems very strange. Maybe she didn’t like you as much as you thought. Contact her to ask how she’s doing and if she doesn’t answer or says she doesn’t want to get back together, you’ll have to accept the situation and move on.
@patricia
Yes i do know her stories, she tells me about her friends, jobs and family, but i never meet them, i met one or 2 her friends and her family in skme ocassion but not officially as her bf.
And we started everythIng from sex. For me ive been crushing with her since the beginning, but for her its like : aite leta give it a try, im not with anyone anyway. Truth is sex is both new for us, so her nature tells her to stop and bring the relationship to a healither one (were eastern), but i coudlnt accept it at that time. Well with time passing i thought shes okay with it, its just i begin to realize whats wrong with our relationship beside the needy part of mine and her mysteriousness.
Regarding your advice, ive been keeping myself to not contact for 31 days now, should i not do this elephant in the room letrwr or smth? I know ive been making myself better and im sure i can make it work if theres a second chance, but im not ready to let her go if she says no.
Ps. I still paid for her spotify subs (which i did to follow her playlist in front of her). Last 3 weeks she updated song : younger by ruel , and 2 weeks ago updated : imagine if by gnash. Do this mean a thing? Or am i just over analyzing it.
This morning i got uric acid, its quite painful and wanting to contact her, but restrained.
You wrote:“…im not ready to let her go if she says no.”
What? You would have no choice if she doesn’t want you! Send the elephant in the room letter if you want, but be prepared for no response or whatever she responds and accept it.
@patricia12
your replies is kind of mean actually but i get your point.
All im trying to do is improving myself to be worthy of her, and yes i know i have to let of her if she didnt want to reconnect in the end, thats what i am preparing for, and im willing to love her for the rest of my life even shes not by my side anymore. Bcos loving her means letting her do her, and in the end whats important for me is she being happy.
For my last effort, i decided to sent her a letter in the near future, with a usb drive with our memories in it, and goodbye message. In the letter i will tell her how im sorry of how things ended up and im not the same person in which im okay if she says no bcos in the event she says yes, she made me change to be better.
Day 35 now of no contact, and maybe this is going to end, i hope for the best and maybe encouragement.
Good luck…