Day 1 of NC

Here goes, pretty daunted by all this but willing to give it a shot & post regular updates.

We’ve been madly in love for 6 years but the last year has been a strain, I almost lost my job & sunk into depression & suffered with anxiety. I’ve never been jealous at all but I became insecure, made accusations that upset her. We argued a lot. Before Christmas things were really looking up, I was feeling better & the arguments were less frequent, we had some very nice days together.
Then last Monday I lost my head, we argued and that was it. We met on Sunday & said goodbye. She says she’ll always love me but there are too many emotional scars for us to be together & commit to a more serious relationship, too many reminders of bad times than good. Maybe some time in the future she said, we were meant to be together. We both know we’ll never feel this again.
Since then, I told her best friend to look after her which didn’t go down well at all. Then lots of needy texts from me yesterday which she was replying to, a text this morning followed a sentimental email which have both been ignored. I’m blocked on all social media, but have since deleted my accounts anyway.

So here I am. Day 1 begins tomorrow. Going through all the usual fear, mainly what if she meets someone. I don’t think I’d cope with that but then at least I’ll know for certain. My friends have said forget her but it’s not that easy! We’ve just had a tough time, hoping this helps her to remember the good & start missing me again…

Nobody wants to be in a relationship that’s filled with jealousy and so many arguments! You need time to improve yourself and she needs time to cool off. Things need to change radically! If you need help with depression, get therapy. Continue no contact for at least 30 days…

Well it lasted 2 days. I’ve had a serious health scare & I reached out to her, she replied and said she wanted to be there for me but I was still trying to convince her during this time. She ended up saying although she loves me, she hasn’t even missed me.ahe was very blunt which is unlike her. I guess she hasnt had chance to miss me in all fairness.

I told her I’d rather deal with my health alone if it gives her space, so I’m back to day 2 again. I think I’ve given up all hope completely now.

When you contact her or see her so soon after the breakup, it will remind her of the breakup and bad memories. Keep no contact this time!

What was the health scare?

I found a lump… I have a scan booked for the 11th February. The hardest part is I need her more than ever right now, but I know what I have to do.

Just an update, she contacted me to see how I am yesterday & ended up reiterating everything again, happier without me, doesn’t love me & pretty much gave me a battering, she was actually quite vile. Time to throw in the towel and try to move on.

It will be a little difficult to move on, but you can do it.

Good luck with your test on the 11th…