My ex, 39, split with me 2 months ago, from a 2 year relationship. We’d just started seeing a relationship counselor to deal with what I felt were general communication issues. The first session was particularly badly managed and he split immediately after, siting the fact he needed to escape the relationship which wasn’t making him happy. I did NC for a month, then we met to debrief. I had realized my contribution from being burnt out from work and could see how I wasn’t as present as I should during the last 3-6months. I apologized for this and some specific incidents where I hadn’t handled conflict well or been there for him when he needed it, and let him know I’d started making some fairly large changes to my life to avoid burnout and get back to life balance. And to that end I’m doing much better! He reiterated then he still felt we had to stay apart. And his reasons were that he had doubts, and wasnt happy towards the end. We haven’t had much contact but recently he has turned up to a few events I’m sure he knew I’d be at (including one when he arrived alone), and while a little awkward, we’ve ended up having really nice catch ups and a mutually good time together. Aside from this, zero contact. What’s happening? It’s confusing and I’m not sure the best way to proceed, I love him deeply and would like to give our relationship another chance in light of the changes I’ve made. But scared to make a wrong move…
He wasn’t happy and thinks you should stay apart. Glad you’re making improvements, but until he lets you know he wants to try again, there’s not much you can do except whenever you see him, be upbeat.
Thanks for your thoughts Patricia. I do hope he gets to a place where there is space & interest to give ourselves another chance to explore.