2 months ago I caught my wife of 16 years cheating on me first time it has ever happened and prior to this she had thought I was having an affair on her which I wasnt we both had been suffering from depression and the stress of life and Bill’s and struggling to get ahead
I had withdrawn from life more or less the past year and stopped wanting to do things and she had tried to get me up and motivated and to help me.outta my depression but I just wasnt ready to face it yet and after i caught her she told me she had given up trying to help me when i wouldnt help myself and felt she was losing herself trying to help me she came home for 3 weeks after the event and we had started to spend alot of time together and things most days were going well but I couldnt let go of what had happened and we kept fighting about it till the point she said she couldnt handle the stress of fighting everyday and was going to stay at her dads for a bit and maybe get her own place .
She did this and we still talked everyday and hung out and than she spent 6 days back at home everyday and we had plans for her to.cook a dinner for us and watch a movie and I called on my way home from.work and she said she was leaving and we had to start talking less that she spent the day with her friend and decided that she needed to take a step back from everything and that we shouldnt talk for a couple days. After 2 days of not talking we started to talk again but it always seems to go back to talk about the problems in the relationship and after about a week she told me she started talking to the other guy again and that she wasnt sire how she felt about him and that she loved me and wanted to be here with me but couldnt handle all the fighting and stress anymore and then she started calling and texting less and less and we stopped hanging out as much. And than the anger started she is all.of a.sudden extremely angry with me everytime we talk and about everything I do whether I call her she gets mad if I dont call her she gets mad and if I do something for myself she gets mad if I try to help her out she gets mad she is now seeing this other guy and yet I went out on 1 date for coffee and she flipped out and stopped talking to me for a bit and than started again she says mixed things and mixed actions she wont take her stuff from our house she wont change her facebook status and asks me not to tell people we arent together she refuses to give me my key back to the house and comes here everyday in the morning and at night and leaves clothes and takes clothes etc …on days she works early she brings me coffee and leaves it on my bed side table and stands over me watching me sleep I know this because I set up my go pro after a couple times of waking up to coffee beside my bed …she comes and hangsout with me and goes for dinner with me and will take pictures and such with me but asks me not to post them.on any social media she will come here when I’m not home and do my laundry and dishes etc and posts love songs on facebook and likes everything I post about relationships or pictures of myself among other things…I have asked her if she is happy and she tells me no her life is miserable and sucks but she has to make the best of it she has cut almost all her friends and our family outta her life and refuses to talk to anyone about anything related to us or what she is doing…she lies to the other guy about talking to me and coming to see me and the list goes on and on …we do have 2 kids together which she has left here with me and she hardley sees them or calls them anymore and says that if she could have what she wanted she would be home with us but she cang have that its just a fairytale and that she wants to love me and be here but she just cant rright now and that she hopes we can find each other again but everything she does most days works against this I have no idea what to do anymore or say whether to hang on or let go all this mixed back and forth is driving me nnuts and no contact is probably what i need tto do but it’s been almost impossible cause sshe comes and shows up here so much even when i i ask her not to or because of the kids we have to talk and when I ask her to not call unless about the kids she all.of sudden has a bunch of this to ask about the kids etc…I feel like I’m the other guy now and that she is ether confused herself or keeping me around for a backup plan …any advice here would be welcome …I’d like to fix things and bring her home but not sure what to do or if I should anymore …