are we gonna get back together?

reconciliation
1

so heres my story,

me and my ex girlfriend lasted a year and about 8 months, she’s my 3rd girlfriend and shes really different, i loved her like ive never loved someone before, I’am her first boyfriend, shes only 19, im 20, i know we’re young but i really felt something about her that made me say she is the one. she broke up with me exactly 2 weeks ago, because i didnt went to her event, twice, i didnt know it was that important to her, i said im sorry many times and begged her many times but she wont budge, nothing would change her mind, this is the first time that this happened to us, i mean we’ve broked up before many times, shes always the one whos breaking up but i do get her, but 1 week is the maximum amount of time, by that time she would always give signs or message me to get back together, but now is really different,

the first 2 days of the break up, she seemed very sad, i contacted but she wont reply me, some days i didnt contacted her because i thought she just needed time to not get upset anymore, but the following days, she seemed very happy, her FB posts were like annoyingly happy, the break up was like nothing to her. at the end of the week, i said im sorry, i begged, i thought she was gonna be mad, but she wasnt, she was calm, and cool about it, i was shocked that she was over US that fast, she said that she was okay about what happened, then i asked her if she still loves me, she replied, “just friends”, i was devastated, i asked if there’s another man involve, she said that she has a crush on someone, but she wont tell me who.

The next day i basically begged her to take me back, she still rejected me, but finally i got her to meet up with me for just a few hours, our meet up was okay, i try to play it cool, we had some fun, we didnt bring up our relationship, it felt like we were friends again, i really thought that day that when we saw each other, something would spark but nothing special happened, later i asked her about us and STILL nothing, she still said no, when i asked her about her crush, she was blushing, and that really hurts, but i think i played it cool, i asked her if she dont love me no more, she said that she still has FEELINGS about me, i didnt begged her that time, thats the last time i saw her, i contacted her that same day but still nothing, she wont budge, she really wont let me in back in her life, i asked her to rate her feelings for me from 1 to 10, 1 being just friends and 10 being the prime of our relationship. she replied 3 and that means bestfriend to her.

Since that day, ive learned about the no contact rule, ive been avoiding her about 5 days now, valentines day was hard because i felt like i had to do something to win her back again, but i didnt do nothing, my problem is, i dont know what going on with her, and im really confused, do ya’ll think she still cares for me? or is she really over about it? should i contact her? remind her of our memories? ive never been like this before, this sucks, can anyone please give their honest opinion, im sorry for my english, i really really love her STILL and misses her bigtime. well the biggest question for me is, ARE WE GONNA GET BACK TOGETHER?

2

haha bro sure you will, and actually you are in the easiest situation from all of us. You were kinda needy and desperate doormate, playing her games and askings for her feeling scale from 1 to 10 will not gonna get you anywhere but I think you already know that. First step done !

But let me tell you some facts first:
1.) you were her first and you were together for almost two years which means not just she is not over you yet but that means that she will never ever forget you in her whole live because you were her first one. Girls never forget first boyfriends and first sex partners.
2.) She is just playing games with you atm because until now you were totally ok with it, what is going to stop right now
3.) Her crush is you

It was only two weeks for you doing wrong things so its fine. Just stop being claun for her from now on, apply 5steps plan with no contact for NOT LESS than 30 days. Once she notice you are not her doormate she will go crazy. Just work on yourself and contact her after no contact comes to end. Go to gym at least. If she will go really crazy and will contact you every day, you will have to say to her (VERY SHORTLY) that you two cannot be friends that it just wont work and you both need space and time. Then continue with NC to the end of it.

Your only problem is that she broke up with you many times. You will have to fix this and this is perfect situation to do it. How can you fix this? again, very simple - dont accept her to return first time she asks for it. She has to feel that you are her price (what you really are, right?) and getting you back was not so easy. So basically what you need to do is make her please and beg and everything you did last two weeks. Then she will appreciate you in her life more and she wont break up with you ever again. Fix your faults in relationship, make her happy and you gonna live happy ever after.

5 Step plan is all what you need so read it ten times and sub to email series too.

Read other stories on this blog, your situation is really nothing compared to others here. It might make you feel happy :slight_smile:

Good Luck.

3

thanks for the advice man, really appreciate it, you really think that we are gonna get back ? because i really feel theres something different about this time unlike before, like ive said, this is the first time that she’s really really serious about it and she really acts like she doesnt care for me, and i can really feel that,
but its great to know what you have said, hopefully it all works out fine, i just wanna be happy again

4

Heeey I think we’re in the same boat you know? Hahahaha
We have almost the exact same situation except for the fact that I’m already done with the NC period and I think I’m getting nowhere.
Help out a friend will you? Hahahaha
But seriously you have to do NC first, be a better version of yourself.
And after all that, when she starts to miss you and sees how much you’ve changed, she’ll be begging you to take her back.
Trust me. I’m a girl. :wink: Just don’t act needy ever again.
You’ll get her back! Just wait.

5

wow thats very calming to know that someone has the same situation haha lol
so what did you do after the NC? if you feel like youre getting nowhere, then maybe its really time to move on, i would love to help and give my opinion,
this stage just sucks, at times i feel good, i feel okay about it, i feel like its not that bad, but morning and specially night time sucks, i miss her the most and ill start to feel sad and feel like shit again, its been more than 2 weeks now and still finding it hard to move on, this is just a very confusing, but im trying to do my best, eating right, working out, bought some new clothes, really improving myself, idk if this will work, specially my ex was the “hard to get” type, bottom line is i just want my happiness and confidence back

6

Just stay strong, you know? Keep distracting yourself and do things all the time because the more alone time you have, the more you think about her and you will feel the pain all over again.

7

yeah youre right, im a man, i can do this, tnx

8

Just stay strong. From reading your post you are coming off as a needy guy and no woman likes that, that’s what NC is all about. You both are young and you usually see this from younger couples that they will play games and she is playing games with you and seeing how far she can take it. Listen to Rasputin and follow his advise.

9

i was needy at that time, yeah ill just keep this up, but i dont think shes playing any games, i really think this is serious, the hard part is there is a part of me that still really really wants her and the other part wants myself to just move on, its just confusing

10

Your story is not too different from mine.
I and my boyfriend are the same age, 20. And we have been together for 1 year and 11 months. Because of some reasons (he said that we were not suitable anymore), we broke up since last January. During that time, I tried no-contact to him, and the longest is for 10 days. But everything is still the same. I met him last Thursday and we really had fun together, like we were still a couple. But when I asked him about coming back, he said that we should be friend and because he has move on with someone, he want to end everything completely. You know, we still have fun together, talk on phone like nothing happen, I can feel the way he looks at me is still the same, but he said just want to be friend???
I am really confused. I begged him so many time, being needy bla bla… and I feel regret. Maybe ex doesn’t like the old person of us, who always be needy and always beg. At the last phone call, I asked him to think about us one more time and he said Ok. That may be a good sign, right?
I think that you should leave your ex alone for some times. It will be really hard to be strong but sticking with them all the time, begging, phoning, texting, asking… doesn’t make anything change.Your ex will get angry and find way to get away from you, it’s the worst. Now I have to learn to be silent, too.
Goodluck to us :wink:

11

yeah yours sound like it still has a good chance, just keep up what youre doing and start being happy again, i know its very hard, but you have to,
im having a very hard time on being happy, everyday is like a rollercoaster ride, at times im good and happy, then im gonna be sad and be missing her like crazy, idk if whether ill keep my hopes up for her or just move on and forget about her

12

I have the same feeling too. Sometimes I think I do well, feel quite happy I mean. But after that I realized he doesn’t with me anymore, that feeling brings me down immediately. And sometimes I wonder the same question: should I move on or still keep hope? Is he the one for me? I think only time can give me the exact answer, but waiting and trying to be happy without him are really really terrible. Anyway, only time can give the answer and all we should do is waiting and improve ourselves.
Don’t try to forget her. At the moment, you can’t forget her easily and trying to do that just make your mood worse.
I am changing the situation into something like I am still in a relationship with him but we have to separate for some time to think about us. He is still my inspiration so I can think about him and be happy. You can try this way, I think it quite effective for yourself now.

13

wow i feel you, we’re in the same spot, this just sucks right,
i was wondering, if i should continue the NC? because i know NC does not work all the time, it may actually be worst? i mean, if im not contacting her, she maybe thinking that its great because she can move on easily, she may completely forget me? she may say something like, “oh he’s absolutely fine about the break up, so so do I”
i think my ex is happier since weve broken up and i dont think that she misses me, should i try to contact her now? remind her of the moments weve had in the past? so if nothing happens, i can accept it fast and just move on, because NC allows you to get your hopes up that youll get back together, and theres a big chance that you WONT, idk NC is killing me day by day, its only been 9 days of NC, any opinions , advice please???

14

OMG, I share the same thinking with you. Whenever I try to follow NC, I am always afraid of he will forget me or he will feel it’s good when I don’t contact because he doesn’t be annoyed anymore and have time for his crush :(( This feeling is killing me !!
Kevin said on mail that ex will be sad and hurt after break up, like us. But I don’t think so. Maybe they are busy with their new crush right?
I’m so sorry. I just can feel the same as you but can’t help. But my choice is NC, you can consider it. I think one of the reasons my boyfriend want to break up, that I was so talkative, so annoying. And behaving calmly is the best choice of mine at the moment to show him that I have changed.
Just imagine that your ex want to break up, so she doesn’t like the old version of you. I think reminding good memories can make her more confused, more angry and she may avoid you. I am a girl and I know she always remember them herself. Wonder why she wanted to break up and start changing at the point.

15

i think about it though, that nc maybe good for some relationship , but not all, i have just a different feeling about this, maybe ill just follow my heart,

16

Hi! First of all thank you for your support an encouragement on my thread :slight_smile:

My 2 cents is it’s good to give the other person space. For example my ex complained that he ha no time to o his own thing and that we were together everyday an stuff like that. So I made it a cause to show him I respect his wants and needs now, that I understand now. Not with much words but actions. You can see how in your behavior you can show her you changed stuff she didn’t like. Or really if you know her go with your heart but also always think strategically and from her point of view

17

Oh, but I kept some contact all the time. The most I went with NC was 2 weeks and I kin of regret that as you read on my thread