Am I overthinking things?

reconciliation
1

Hi all,

My Ex broke up with me about 6.5 weeks ago. It came very suddenly and I didn’t handle the situation all that well, there was a week or so period from where she said she didn’t love me anymore to me actually giving up and letting her go. I think it came down to me being insecure but she never did give me a proper reason. After that I found this website and worked through the guide, I have done 30 and a bit more days of no contact with one failure where she started the conversation and I replied. After no contact, I messaged her in a positive manor not mentioning the past, I just talked about a TV show we both watched and said the new season was good etc. I also asked how she was and told her she looked good in a recent instagram post she had put up. She replied the next morning also in a positive manor but not really trying to continue the conversation. I replied anyway about a day later again being positive, making a joke and not mentioning the past. She hasn’t replied to that and it has been 9 days. One of the admin on EBP says “she may still have feelings for you but simply isn’t ready to get back together or start a close friendship so soon.” and that I should continue no contact. I get hung up on little things and wanted to know if I am just holding on to hope too much. For example she is in a WhatsApp group with my family and their girlfriends, she hasn’t left the group and still reads the messages (Not sure if she realises I can see she is reading them), I still have a key to her place which she hasn’t asked to be returned, she still likes mine and my family’s instagram posts, her family still like my posts and no one has deleted me on any social media. Am I just overthinking and hoping too much? Should I wait a bit and contact her again, or wait and see if she contacts me? Should I carry on not mentioning the past or should I tell her that I have changed? Or should I just let her go? The upside to the whole situation is I have learned so much about myself and my attitude towards relationships. Thanks for letting me get this out to people in similar situations :slight_smile:

2

Contact her one more time to ask when it would be convenient to return her key. After that go no contact and stop posting and looking at social media so much…

If she had any desire to reconcile, she would let you know, but it’s only been 6 weeks so be patient and continue to improve in the areas you think caused her to break up with you. Hang in there a couple of more months and if nothing happens from her end, move on.

Good luck.

3

You’re probably just overthinking things like I am. My ex didn’t respond to me as much on first contact but it was positively and then left me on seen because he was probably busy but the second time I tried we had a longer conversation. Maybe she’s just busy or maybe she needs more time to heal because there’s a high chance she misses you still. Or maybe she doesn’t want to seem clingy and needy and doesn’t answer you as much but whatever it is goodluck with it! I hope everything turns out in your favor. Oh and remember try to do things to distract yourself, try not to think of her as much