I was seeing this guy for one and half years, we never became official. The relationship was casual but we became very close to each other and we have a very nice and passionate time together. Around three months ago he asked me do I want to live at his place (as he knows that I have some troubles with finding a good accommodation in London where we both live). I said yes, let’s do it. After we both returned from holidays he said his friend will live there for a while as he was kicked out from his accommodation, but when he moved out that we will live together. Honestly, I think that we are still not for living together and that somehow we rushed into speaking about it. The last night we spend together it was when I for the first time told him I am in love with him. We did not have arguments but rather a really nice time together and became very close especially recently.
And two days after that night he sent me a message that he does not see any future for us rather than just as friends. And that maybe we should just take a break for now. As I was in a shock I replied that I am in a shock and shall we speak in person about this as it does not seem fair to text about this. He replied that we do not need to meet, that he decided like that as we want different things, that he does not want to live with anyone or have a relationship with anyone, and that he wishes me all the best. That day I had an important job assessment and could not suppress the anger how I am going to fail that test now because I cannot think straight and wrote him an angry message ‘I have a job assessment today, and if I fail it you are going to stay without your balls.’ I never before acted like that, but somehow I thought that I had to if I want that he starts to respect me. This was the last message. I think he was expecting that I say something more as he was checking his mobile the whole night and the whole week. I just did not say anything else, because I thought maybe I should leave it like that as I do not want to chase him, even though not sure should I say something still or not.
In terms of respect, we were all the time seeing each other when he wanted, and I think I showed a lot of self-disrespect for myself by being all the time available for him. Also, my job situation might have influenced our situation, I moved to the UK 2 and half years ago to do my masters, and after a year I moved to London where I started to rebuild my career (which is very competitive field in London) and I am still not where I want to be, I do have a job but all the time doing some pro bono work in order to get something better, and I think I am doing pretty much well, even though I am not in a relaxed situation where I can say now I am satisifed professionally, especially because I cannot afford things like much travels and so on, but I feel I am on my way. Also I gained a little weigh and he mentioned that a couple of times, even though I have a great body, but basically stress did some demage and I stopped to go do the gym during this period of me rebuilding my career. My lack of confidence was visible in our relationship obviously, it was obvious he is doing so much better than me.
I still think we could be great together once my job situation improves and I become professionally completely fulfilled. I would like any advice on my situation and potentially what shall I do to get him back, we do not have mutual friends. Our break (or rather a break up as I read his message like that) happened two and half weeks ago, and I am quite devastated still. I shall add he is 39 and me 36.
Looking forward to hearing from you. And thank you in advance.