29 days?

Hi i split with my boyfriend just a couple of weeks ago. He ended it, but wanted to stay in touch/stay friends. I did one crazy needy thing - i went over to meet him after work just after we split to talk, even though he said he didnt think that was a good idea. I went anyway, he met me, we talked and he insisted he wants to stay in touch and would be really upset if he never saw me again, but also made it clear he didnt want to try again as a romantic relationship. I said i had stronger feelings for him than just friends and would find staying in touch too difficult.
We were both really upset but i have cut all contact with him since the split a few weeks back.
We got to be friends through internet dating messages every day for about 6 weeks before we met and went out with each other properly for only about 2 months. It was clear there was a physical attraction for us both, i really enjoyed his company but he’s ended it as i know ive come over as insecure, looking ahead and worrying about the future too much before the relationship has really got going and he says ive come over as too much of a hothead and he doesnt want to be in a relationship like that. He seemed to really really like me and then decide really definately he didnt want me as his girlfriend anymore but does seem to want to keep a friendship.
It will work out as 29 days of no contact when it is his birthday. I was thinking of doing no contact for more like 2 or 3 months as im pretty cut up over the whole thing, but his birthday seems like a good time to send a quick happy birthday text and try and break the ice a little.
Does it have to be strictly 30 days or is 29 going to be acceptable to send him a happy birthday text.
Im not sure i can handle a friendship with him. Im coping ok with no contact but ideally i want to try again but i know it will all have to come from him and at his pace, if at all.
Any thoughts/advice appreciated.

@josetha - You went to meet him after work even though he said it wasn’t a good idea. He believes you’re insecure and a hothead. So it seems you have a problem with impulse control and also have anger issues. Guys don’t like these kinds of behaviors, not do they want to talk about the future so early on in a relationship! Guys want smooth flowing happy relationships and you didn’t give him that. The no contact is a time where you try to get your act together and change your negative thoughts and behaviors! Only 2 months into being together and already he wanted to put an end to the relationship? This is amazing as most early stage relationships are easygoing and happy. You have to change, or you’ll never get another chance. If you can accept a casual friendship and you improve yourself, it might give him an opportunity to see for himself that you’re different. Sending a very short happy birthday text might be okay, but don’t drag it out or ask to get back together. Then continue no contact again while you work through your own issues to completely resolve them. Good luck.

Hi there. I think that sounds like good advice.
My plan is to send a happy birthday text and then resume no contact whilst i try and figure myself out and gain a bit more confidence in myself.
If he initiates contact again after i send the happy birthday text, i’ll keep it light and non begging/non needy.
I do need to work on feeling ok in myself rather than expecting someone to providd that feeling for me.
This is a good site with alot of sound advice. Glad ive found it.

I have to say today im really struggling. My ex was so clear that he wouldnt change his mind about ever wanting a romantic relationship again.
Its all ended before its even got going.
Im fairly sure that once i contact him on his birthday he will respond as i know he’s keen to stay friends.
I split with my husband a few years back and then had another relationship that didnt work out either. Its taken me a long time to get over both of them.
Now i just feel im back to where i was feeling so upset and unhappy.
The most recent ex really liked me, i didnt imagine that but i know he probably will never want a relationship again.
I feel sort of in shock.
Im not ok and not coping.
Anyone reading please offer some encouragement.
Breakups are so painful and devastating.
I dont know why i cant learn by my mistakes or find someone who i can make it work with.
Im sorry for everyone on here whose going through this as it hurts so bad.

@josetha - A lesson to learn is to never chase a man and don’t think or say anything about a future with him. A man needs and wants to take the lead and you should just enjoy the moments as they happen. You mentioned feeling insecure and your ex said you’re a hot head. If you can get therapy for all these issues, that would be great. But you could also read self improvement strategies online or in a book. When you change your thinking patterns and the way you interact with men, you will be much happier and feel more secure about yourself. I know you’re hurting right now, but you have to be determined to change some things about yourself before you will be able to have a truly happy relationship in the future.

Thats good advice. I am actually seeking some therapy for my insecurity issues.
Ive done a bit better today and i know i dont need my ex and that the sad times do pass, its just that im missing the nice parts of the relationship so i guess im grieving.
Im suceeding with the no contact and it is helping to process what im feeling.
Thanks for the advice

Well i completed my 29 days no contact a few days back and sent off his birthday card with a short hand written note along the lines kevin suggests on this site, and a short happy birthday message over messenger.
He replied and we’ve had a brief but nice exchange through internet messenger so ive re established contact.
Plan is now to leave it at least a week before contacting him again.
Im just keeping it friendly and non-heavy as kevin advises.
Im ok with accepting its going to be months probably before we have a chance of getting back together as i would never push it now and would only want it to be his idea.
Think im in a better place. Have to keep working on myself now and reminding myself this guy may never want to get back with me and make sure i dont build myself up for a big reunite that might never happen.
No contact has been good as i know i can go that time now and manage it.