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Ugh. So confused. He did or said nothing else after that yesterday and has done nothing today. Why isn’t he just contacting me directly but instead is trying to get my attention -_- I’m not reaching out first right now…he was the one who ended it >.< Why like my IG photos if you’re not gonna talk to me? Why send me an “accidental” text message? grrr confused.
Thanks @otherone
Yeah, I had become the person always apologizing and trying to fix things! He broke up w me and then in our argument bc I was blowing up his phone he threatened with going to the police saying I was stalking him! He needs to apologize. smh.
He used to do this during fights too..his way of showing me he was still there…then he would text me saying “break at 11” or whatever time and would want me to come see him during that break. I hope he doesn’t do that this time. This can’t be swept under the rug..also if he texts me that I’m gonna be on vacation anyway haha! I’ll be gone for his bday…half intentional..I just don’t know why he’s trying to get my attention as opposed to just apologizing or being upfront -_____-This is stupid. Like if he wants to talk to me why doesn’t he do so directly…yes, he said something hurtful and I used to be the one to reach out but freaking STILL. -_-
Thanks @divjun
Yeah, I’m leaning towards that option too… but he was the one who broke up with ME via text and I blew up his phone during that fight and then he threatened me with going to the police to open a case against me for stalking if I texted him more. I was calm by then and responded maturely and a day after apologized for blowing up &trying to force a convo. Then I went NC. But he knows I’m stubborn and was a text gnat before so he prob was expecting me to text a couple days later regardless. His threat was entirely empty bc I haven’t gotten in any trouble plus he wouldn’t have had a case. I blew up his phone one. day. after a break up smh.
I’m working on me though and it feels great. But yeah, I can see how he prob feels bad about his anger/actions during that fight. I just don’t want my silence to mean he won’t text me an actual DIRECT text message!I’m glad things are still going well! I hope you two are able to start fresh and move past any and all problems that led to the break up! Keep staying strong 🙂
So I ignored that text and haven’t heard anything else. I *do* want to contact him though :/ I’m on day 17 of NC and this is so hard. I know it’s helped me with me though, bc 2 weeks ago I would have blow up his phone saying “you totally knew this was me! you sent me that accidental text on purpose!”
Given, this guy also said “who is this?” one time to me via text when he was mad..so I wouldn’t put the immature accidental text past him.
I dont know if it was an accident or on purpose though…but I know that not responding showed him I am growing up 🙂
I’m getting discouraged though bc I haven’t heard since…we did have a bad break up fight but I went NC shortly after my day of being needy…and I was needy in our rship. I know by not responding to that text (intentional or not) I showed him I’m not needy anymore BUT I’m so discouraged I haven’t heard anything else!Day 17 Nc. Any support/encouragement/advice would be great 🙂
Hmmm. I don’t know :/ It seems like youre not ready to talk yet! Especially if he’s just saying to talk “dirty” after he was so mean to you over the phone! I would give him more time. I’m sure he’s angry because he has feelings for you…he needs to sort himself out as do you. My ex was super angry after the break up as well and we haven’t talked for over two weeks! I’m on day 17 of NC and lemme tell you, it is HARD but it is the ONLY thing that will help you work on you and could possibly (but no guarantee) lead to another chance with your ex
Thanks everyone! Yes, I agree. I have continued my NC. I feel like silence is best as well. If it was a mistake, I’m showing I am not clingy and getting any little chance I get to talk to him! If it was intentional, I am showing that I am growing up .. (before I would have totally reacted saying “you did that on purpose” and would have proceeded to blow up his phone with texts.” Well…me not responding at all shows him that I am growing past that 🙂
Yeah, I should have done that … but now I’m MORE confused…
Side note..OMG HE IS STILL HANGING OUT WITH HER :/ I would ignore him too!!Wtf I got a text from him “Hey I’m going to be late to the meeting, just left court”
Did he actually mess up or was that intentional -.- Like it was clearly meant for someone at work…BUT
I don’t think anyone he works with has my name and he hasn’t messed up like this ever before… and one time he immaturely said, “who is this?” to me…and this text today would DEF be something I would have reacted to 2 weeks ago! I would have blown him up and gone off…but now I’m maturing.. 🙂
Is it possible he purposely sent me this and wanted me to respond for him to say “wrong person” or do you think it was 100% mistake????My ex blocked me when we were still dating after a fight during which he thought I broke up with him -_- I know he has done it out of anger/emotion but not sure about your ex?
Any advice from anyone else? Super anxious today…it’s day 14 of NC for me and still nothing :/ X.X I’m scared he won’t think we can correct the behaviors..but we can..I’m at least correcting my anxiety blowing up/text gnat part :/
@otherone awe that’s so sweet! I hope you can get back together 🙂 I am seeing now though that sometimes space can be beneficial…I just hope my ex doesn’t give up on me and move on. He waited for me so long because he fell in love with me for ME… He was my good friend and saw all sides of me..the good and the bad. I feel like I was just so scared in a relationship then I would make assumptions, accuse, make him anxious, empty threats about breaking up..etc. I was pretty horrible at first. Then the ignoring/ blowing up texts started. We were FINALLY moving past that and making progress though..we both were. Then one more fight and he ended it. I truly think we can work if I work on me..he helped me realize that he is worth letting go of my insecurities for and really looking deep within myself. I want him to know that..but right now he has said NOTHING and I’m on NC day 13. I’m not sure why he stayed with me so long. When we first started dating he said he knew it would be hard but wanted to fight through frustration to have a functional relationship with me because well, I was the girl he wanted to marry :/ I feel like I ruined all of that with my insecurities…he then wouldn’t really communicate when upset, he would just shut down. He likes to let things go more…but apparently that didn’t work.
My plan right now is to keep working on me. His 25th bday is day 22 of NC but I probably won’t contact. I’m gonna try to go the whole 30 days…then I will reach out and see if he responds at all..he may still be hurt, not sure. I want him desperately to see that I’m growing up..just scared I’ve lost my chance.
He said before I upset him more than anyone else…hence how angry he was in the break up… I have some type of emotional power..I don’t manipulate it..but he would even get upset if I couldn’t see him during his work break (but then I barely saw him evenings bc so busy but that annoyed me >.<) I think we could make it work after some space and growth though..I’m just so worried he is too mad and he will just move on thinking we aren’t good for each other and never can work (despite our long friendship) :/
And like I said @atticaboy , I’m using this NC to also work on me. I’m hoping that could help us work if I work through my stuff…I just want him to still have hope. Day 13 of NC and still nothing :/
I’m scared he will think we just will never work but due to our long friendship and having worked stuff out well then, I know we can…I just want him to know I’m making the changes I needed to in myself to allow us to be :/ :/
@otherone Yeah I realize that now. I’m working through my issues so that *if* we give it another shot (starting like from the beginning, not where we left off!) then we can actually give it a *real* shot. You said it ruined you guys..do you think you guys will end up back together? We also let our anxieties/baggage ruin us. I did start the unhealthy cycle but then he fell into it. But NOW I have stopped. I will no longer blow up his phone…I was overly clingy due to fear :/ It hurt him bc he never gave me a reason to not trust him..I just wasn’t ready. Now I’m confronting my fears and I see now this break up has actually been GOOD for me and maybe us..if I can get him back..that’s another reason why I haven’t broken NC..I know I still need some more growing although I feel like I’ve mad great progress. I control my insecurities much more now.
@atticaboy I agree to some extent..I think we both had a lot of personal work to do. The thing though that gives me hope is that we were SUCH GOOD FRIENDS for 1.5 years before dating…That’s how he fell in love with me…I wouldn’t date him for all that time and didn’t even admit my feelings…I was scared due to having been cheated on in the past :/ And we also never fought in person…only conflict was via txt -_-Any more advice?
