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You should act very casual around him. As if he’s just some guy, even if you have to fake it. Don’t text him anymore unless he contacts you first, do other things with your time so you don’t always need to reply to his messages. But before you do this, you need to completely vanish from his life for a while. Delve into something else that doesn’t have anything to do with him.
I’ve read your previous posts from the past and you seem to be running into the same problems and not listening to what the people on this forum are telling you:
1) You are still extremely needy and clingy and borderline desperate.
2) You still center your life around him when you should not give a damn and take better care of yourself more instead of thinking about what he is doing 24/7 and why he’s not contacting you.Your actions are not getting you what you want. Have you noticed that? For all you know, he could just be enjoying all of the attention you’re giving him and he knows that you’re not going anywhere and you’re ALWAYS available. It feeds his ego. You’re trying to control the situation by smothering him and driving yourself up the wall when he doesn’t do or act the way you want him to. If you REALLY want the relationship back, you have to completely remove yourself and make something else the center of your world. For real this time.
You are vulnerable and he knows how desperate you are for him (which you shouldn’t be honestly) so he is taking advantage of that. And no, talking to someone about how you’ve “changed” is not going to work in your favor. You don’t tell someone that you’ve changed. You SHOW them. Don’t let him use you just because you’re desperate for him. Put your foot down and say NO!
I think you should leave him alone. You’re still being very needy and clingy. And it’s driving him away. You’ll never get him back by acting this way. You told him you’ve changed when you haven’t changed at all. You’re still acting the same. Give him space because all you’ve been doing lately is smothering him.
But have you noticed that what you’re doing is not working? You need to come from a place of confidence and self love, not desperation. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot, and he was the one constantly calling and trying to contact you when you wanted space. Wouldn’t that annoy you?
RELAX. It’s only been a short while, and you are RUINING your chances of future reconciliation when you chase and smother him. Needy and clingy behavior is unattractive! Please for your own sanity, leave him alone and focus on yourself for a while.
I’m being very careful this time around. It seems like each time he sees me at work, he has to harass or tease me (in a good way) and he doesn’t treat any other women that way. And there are probably plenty of females at our job that he can have (he’s pretty hot) and yet he won’t pursue them, yet he chases me. That makes me feel pretty good lol.
Yes, lol he’s very sweet. I also forgot to mention that he makes excuses to touch me when we’re alone. He likes to tickle me or graze my arm and say how soft my skin is. I enjoy the attention but at the same time, I want to take everything slow this time. I haven’t asked to get back together or anything. I’m just kinda letting him do all the work.
The point of NC isn’t to make someone miss you. It’s to get yourself together emotionally to a state where you’re not desperate anymore. Every person is different. Sometimes an ex will realize they miss you and want you back but other times, they may still wanna move on even with no contact. It depends on the person and it’s not guaranteed to get your ex back so you shouldn’t get your hopes up. If it’s meant to be, it will be. Yes NC SHOULD make him miss you but it doesn’t mean it WILL, especially if that’s your only objective.
You can’t “make” someone miss you. Just don’t think about it so much. Continue to live your life and be yourself when he’s around. Be cool and casual. Don’t linger if you have other work to do. Show him that the breakup isn’t devastating you (even if it is!) fake it if you have to. It will take months to feel normal again, but I promise it will pass. I’ve been through it.
Keep things strictly professional. Don’t talk about the relationship, and don’t show signs of being needy. Smile and be cordial. Keep conversations short. Make yourself scarce (don’t be available). Pretend not to care (even if you do). I work with my ex as well and had to implement these rules. It gets easier but you have to stick to your guns first. Focus on moving on and improving your life. Take the focus off him and onto yourself. Delete his number if you have to, and remove him from all social media. Whatever helps you move on faster.
