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These positive messages are making me so happy! Even though I don’t know you guys in person, but it feels so good to share our stories. It’s been one thing I did everyday since the breakup and I’ve changed so much!
Anyway, @SM, even if you heard from your ex, it my not have changed the outcome. Are you looking for closure? Him not replying means that he still has unresolved feelings. Just let him be for now.
Also I suggest yoga and meditation for you.
Day 7:
I feel soo good about my progress. Sure I cried again while talking to a friend, but I feel like I have myself back.
I went on a date last night and spent the night at his house (in separate beds) because I drank too much. He was very sweet and friendly and probably could tell that I wasn’t interested in anything physical. I had a great time and will see him again and I’ll probably be honest about where I am next time we hang out. Hope he’ll still want me around as a friend.
Yes, go out and be happy. You gotta be happy first before you can be with anyone.
I liked reading your story because I feel like my ex broke up with me for similar reasons. He told me he cared too much for me and he needed to deal with his own shit on his own without dragging me down to it. I didn’t believe him, but after reading your story, I think there’s some merit to his story.
Anyway, did your mom’s situation improve? What about your health? It’s really commendable that you used your money to support your mom when she needed you. Next time, be honest with your partner. They want to be there for you and won’t feel burdened. They will feel like you value them when you share your problems. The right woman would support you and not feel burdened.
But, before you think about getting her back, fix yourself.
I’m sorry. He broke up ten days before my birthday. It’s hurtful, but yeah, I’ll be fine. Thank you for your support.
Good girl! I’m going to go running in a bit as well!
I cried everyday for over a month. Yesterday was the first day I didn’t and it’s been 6 weeks since the breakup. I still have moments of sadness but less and less everyday!
Don’t go sleep with your rebound. It won’t make you feel better plus you don’t want to break someone else’s heart. You know what it’s like to be heartbroken. You should go on dates but don’t get intimate with them until you are ready.
We broke up, I immediately started nc. On 12th day he called me, I didn’t answer. On 13th day he texted to wish me happy birthday, I didn’t reply. On the 14th day I texted him back and broke nc. We texted a little the next couple of days, then he stopped for ten days. I then broke nc and asked him to send my things back. Than we texted some more, talked once. Five days after that I called him and broke down in tears and told him how I had been pretending to be strong and happy and made a fool of myself. But through this talk, I got some closure and it’s been 6 days since that talk. I no longer have the urge to text/call. There’s no point and I don’t want to lose any more dignity than I already have. I know he’ll communicate with me if I reach out, but I don’t want to anymore. Talking to them opens the flood gates of emotions that you can’t control. Trust me on this. Once I started talking, I told him EVERYTHING and I shouldn’t have because I made him realize how weak I was to him and how he had this control over me. You don’t want to go down that road if you aren’t ready.
Kevin says it’s ok to contact after 30 days but only if you are completely ok with the fact that you may never get back with your ex. Get to that point first. And you’ll know when you are ready because you won’t care anymore what happens afterwards.
Yes creed, move on. If you are still waiting and hoping, you are only lengthening the hurt. So, let go and move on and concentrate on your life. See, what happens. I wouldn’t contact her for another month. Start over and try to move on this time. Not hoping, but moving on. Who knows what the future holds?
Thanks SM! Yes, you HAVE to allow yourself to move on. If it convinces you to think that he has moved on and you should too because he didn’t reply, then believe that. I spend my time here in the mornings because I feel sad in the morning. When I come here, I’m reminded that I’m not the only one and it helps me to stay strong and continue nc. One day, I won’t need to come here anymore for that mental support, I’ll wake up with a peaceful heart that’s not broken anymore. This morning was better than yesterday morning, so it’s getting better.
I think you should explore the new country. I went on a travel adventure by myself in El Salvador and Nicaragua. I just got lost and found my way back, made new friends, went to new places, and reminded myself that I was happy without him. You have to start believing that life is still good without him. That you are still happy without him, you don’t need him to be happy. Be strong, be brave, and welcome new experiences in your life. Live for yourself, not for anyone else or the absence of anyone else. Our exes didn’t care enough for us, so we have to go on living our lives and find someone who will care for us. Our exes broke our hearts and dumped us like we are used tissue paper. We are NOT disposable! We have to know our worth! We can’t allow anyone else to do that to us again. Get strong, really really strong! And become the best version of you…
We’ll get through this! I’m already feeling strong enough to take on the day! I won’t allow myself too be weak the rest of the day. I’m going to go pack for my move and you should Google some new things to do in your new country. You are lucky to be living in a new country, take advantage of it! I want to know what plans you make, go do it, NOW! Right now!
I think he’s doing what he thinks is best for him right now. Talking to you possibly makes him have guilt or he’s confused, or he really is trying to or has moved on. We don’t know what’s on his mind. But there’s no point in knowing or analyzing that because if he wanted you back, he would contact you right? It doesn’t matter whether he’s moved on or not, but you should. The future will work itself out, whether he’s in it or not.
That one year date is coming up for me too, on Nov 2nd. It’s just another day, now it doesn’t mean anything because the anniversary never happened. I might be a little sad, but I’m just going to distract myself. You should do the same. She doesn’t matter anymore in your life because you are the most important person in your life. Make your future plans that will make you happy…we have to believe in something good in the future to go on, so work towards that…You are not alone.
You have to understand that its hard for them too. They go through the same things we do. That’s why the mixed signals come up. BUT, at the end of the day, they are still CHOOSING to be without us so that’s all I try to think about. I don’t think about or give importance to “I still care for you” bullshit, because they are only trying to make themselves feel better by trying to make it easy for you. They think they are helping my letting us know it’s hard for them, but it doesn’t help at all because they are still our exes.
Don’t contact him until you get to a point where you don’t care anymore.
