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I know therapy gets a bad rap, but a few sessions can really help. No one can magically fix your anger, but a therapist might be able to help you figure out why you have the issues, and then give suggestions on what to do about it and/or prescribe some medicine if it can help. Then the rest is up to you.
@Gingerone she feels guilty simply because she knows she hurt you. She never wanted to do that, even if she wanted out of the relationship. As far as her not contacting you, it’s because she doesn’t think that the relationship will work out. She still remembers the bad times, and she needs time to sort out her feelings and start missing you.
If he’s not ready to get back together and you ask him too, you pretty much forfeit any chance of getting him back. Since you’re friends with benefits, he has absolutely no reason to get back in a relationship with you, since he feels like he could date anyone he wants and you’ll still be there. I’d say it’s impossible to rekindle his feelings while you two are sleeping together, and it’s unlikely without NC. Your best chance is to ask for space and make him be the one that has to chase you.
Her text may or may not have been a conversation starter, but it was almost certainly trying to ease her guilt, just like when people say “I hope we can still be friends.” Since you didn’t tell her if you are ok or not, she’ll likely try harder to contact you. Then you just have to tell her that you don’t want to ignore her, but you need some time before you can speak to her again.
I’m not sure what would be the best thing to do, but if you think it’s too soon you could start it off slowly and say you two can just be friends for now and think about getting back together later.
This probably means she does miss you, but you’ll make her turn right around if you bring up your old relationship. Just be yourself, but don’t talk about your feelings.
There are plenty of reasons her friends will say and do stupid things, so just ignore them. As for your ex, she probably wants to hurt you because she’s hurt and confused, and/or trying to prove that she’s “moved on.” Any display of emotion means she still has feelings for you, but take these events into consideration when you think of whether you really want her back or not. Do you want to be someone who will treat you like crap if you have a fallout, and who’s such a poor sport?
I would be concerned if they didn’t seem so ridiculously happy. The fact that they’re making an effort to make it look like they have a great relationship means that it’s a rebound, she’s not as happy as she seems, and she might even be trying to make you jealous. Continue NC until she has time to realize that rebounds aren’t the answer.
Not looking at each other’s social media is an important part of NC, so that you don’t keep obsessing over her. Whether that’s why she blocked you or not, it doesn’t count as breaking NC. There’s a good chance she didn’t even realize she might be looking at her stuff, and it’s just a coincidence that she blocked you now. Even if she does think you were looking, she doesn’t have any proof, just a guess. Just keep doing NC and wait for her to contact you.
@Jared I think you two are in a perfect position right now. She appears to be implementing NC on you, which means that she intends to get back together. However, if you try to contact her now, even one more breach could essentially mean the end of your relationship. Simply change a couple things in your life so that you feel better about yourself and wait for her to contact you. I would also say don’t apologize, since she seems to be irritated with you blaming yourself. Seems like girls tend to like confident guys more than apologetic ones – even though it would make sense to like someone willing to admit their own faults…
The reason you two broke up is because of your depression, so it’s hardly even worth talking to him while you’re still depressed, and you can’t get back together. Do the NC period, and I would suggest finding a therapist and getting some anti-depression medicines prescribed to you. I had depression my whole life, but after a couple months of therapy and medicine I felt much better, even though I still missed my ex. Doing things you think will impress him is a welcome distraction – you can work out so you look great, or join a volunteer group. Whatever suits you. Believe me, you will know when you get out of your depression, and once you feel good about who you are, you can blow him away with your newfound charm.
Thanks for the encouragement, I think that’s what most of us need on here. I’ve already improved myself past my own satisfaction and am continuing to do so. I know she would totally love the person I’ve become, if she would just get to know me.
It looks like she’s trying to make you jealous, but that doesn’t mean she necessarily wants you back. Contacting her now would not end well for you, whether you want her back or not. Better to just stop looking at her page.
I guess he wants you back, but only on his terms. Sounds like he thinks it’s okay for him to instigate a relationship, but when you’re flirty he gets pissed. I would tread carefully – I’m not sure he’s in a place where he’s ready to have a relationship, even though he’s trying to. I could imagine my ex acting the same way if I brought up anything from the past.
