Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Greetings, Naive.
Well I took some time at your story in order to really think over the whole situation. I apologize in advance if I am too blunt, or if I may sound harsh, I’ve been through a terrible brake-up as well, with loads of mixed signals (which are not mixed at all if you put your mind at place).
Let’s go through parts, ok?
1- He really meant that he is over and he doesn’t want it anymore: once a guy comes to a rational conclusion, he really mean to follow this path. (I know this is hard as fuck, go and read my own story and you will see mixed signals – lol). If he meant to be with you right now, he would be. His mind is twisting, making rational choice over the fact that you both don’t live at the same place, that you both will eventually meet new people, that you are a young good looking girl. So, he is not caring about you in first place: HE IS CARING ABOUT HIM. This is not to say that all hope is lost. Far from that. However, accepting this fact and not wondering if he meant what he said will help a lot your next steps.
2- He is clearly attracted to you and only asked about your date because he misses you and he did not forget about you. This is good sign, showing that he is not so made up in his mind, but he is strongly convinced by his rational part that he took the right decision (things are not going well in life, he has no job, he has no option, he doesnt want to suffer). This is good, we can work with that.
3- He doesn’t want you to move in for 2 possible reasons: 1- he is ashamed that he could not guarantee your hapiness (which I think it is low probability); 2- He does not want to commit to what could be a marriage without the ring. If you moved in he would not be able to make this kind of out of no where decisions and he would be strained. Apparently he values his freedom at this point.
Conclusion: What should you do. NC, messages or whatever you may decide to do right now has to have a subtle and utter resolution of you: YOU WORTH, YOU ARE UNIQUE AND NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO PLAY WITH YOUR FEELINGS. Believe me, once he realizes you are not at his disposal, nor willing to play the game, once his freedom looses all the sparkles and he starts to miss sharing the way with someone, and yet you are there as a friend, but not at his disposal (going on with your life, not playing games, not waiting or anything) there is a high possibility that he will stop seeing a mere other ex girlfriend and think seriously about commitment.
This may take time and never happen (we never know). However, this is your best shot. Don’t contact unless you are contacted first. Keep the smile at your face and enjoy what you have now!
🙂
My cellphone went out of battery.
My friend, I am aware of your pain right now. It is the same pain as I bear. However it is time to you to grieve and, afterwards, move on with your life. I know how much it aches. I am enduring the same pain, the same sensation of not having the possibility to have another chance, as you do.
In this time, no one can really help us with the tears and the sensation that our heart has been teared apart. However, having wounded people close help us to know that these things happen in life and that we are not alone.
That serves for sth.
I’ll be here as always.
Patricia,
I was so surprised to see a post of you here. So I took the time and I’ll do my very best to try to help you. As far as I am concerned, you are one of the most caring persons I’ve ever the chance to talk to.
Little things kill relationships. Usually, not the great things are necessary to split us apart. I’ll provide you with my rational analysis:
1- he keeps calling you, even though he is busy. That’s a sign that, even though he might be wanting to find “sparkles” he misses you and the relationship you had. In this point I ask you. Did you were open to try to rekindle the flame he was looking for? Another thing, even though he might be seeing other people, he has not found someone, otherwise, he would not be speaking to you at all.
2- did you ever make any move toward him after the brake up? Maybe the sparkles he was talking about could be something in this vein.
3- exes usually cut all ties when they want to move on. Even though he is looking for sparkles, probably he knows that such a thing is just something that passes and that he should be with you.
You are one of the person I most consider regarding all of this site. Please let me know anything else and I’ll offer all that I can to help you through this.
Well, tough story to hear.
I’ll go directly for your question: deep-down I believe we always know what’s going to happen. Like, by the way you told about the dad from the baby, you must have sensed on that time that reconciliation was a possibility, and you felt threatened and started to freak out controling, did not you? So, my advice would be to look deep inside and find out what you trully believe that will happen.
In my point of view, by the time it is already taking, I would tell you that I don’t see you both together in the near future. She did not give any elements that we might consider that she is rethinking it all.
Tough to hear, I know. However,I think we all here face the difficult of maybe never seeing our loved ones by our side again. So, from a man that suffered, to another: concentrate on you, let things happen. We don’t ever know how life may turn: maybe she will be back in a blink of an eye, maybe, on the following years, maybe you will find someone else that you will fall in love with.
My advise for now is to get used to the idea: I am doing the same.
I am sorry for how long i took to interact with you.
Deeply sorry for the time I took.
From my perspective, you should keep your word now. You guys seem to be in love and if truly is an ultimatum won’t do any harm to that. If I were you I would calm down for a bit and see what he will do now.
Truly, I see hope on this 🙂
Chynee18,
Take your breath.
I need to know more about him:
– what does he do?
– What age?
– what led to the brake up?Don`t do anything yet.
Well,
I don’t know If I agree with the past comment. Tell me sth. What do you think you should do? Deep down we always know what we should do.
I am in the very same spot, friend.
Well, it is actually quite natural you fell this way. I went through a six year relationship brake-up (still going). And in my view it was actually pretty much my fault that it ended this way. I don’t think you should go apologize right now. Take sometime to breathe. You are being obcessed about her. You gotta to give you time to face this demoons. I could not sleep without having nightmares. I saw her, I kissed her. I went through weekends in my bed, just saying : you stupid piece of shit, what have you done. So, if you can make this period shorter, I guarantee that your soul mate, it doesn’t matter how far you are, will fell it. Stop posting on Facebook. The ignorance is a much more effective to attract than when she can see where you are right now. You can count on me buddie.
Dear friend.
Greetings from Brazil.
I’ve been following your story here. It seems to me that is pretty obvious that actually your story with her has not come to an end. However, you need to let the seed die so the tree can grow. Look at yourself. Anger, resentment won’t make you a better person. I am passing through a rough time as well. I know how much it hurts to wait for a message that never comes. I guarantee to you: if you let it go (trully, don’t chase, don’t see, don’t enter facebook) and concentrate on developing you, she will come back. I assure you that she is playing with you. You need to get out of this game. You need to see yourself in the mirror and start really working on you. It maybe a gym, a class, i dont know. Take your plans that were always a dream, or covered in dust, and take them out. I assure you one last thing. AS soon as you get back on your feet, you will make the call if you guys are staying together or not (the world spins and situations change dramatically in short periods of time).
So bro, I wish you the best, count on me to chat – +55 (19) 99909-9304 – Whatsapp – Talking to people that understand you actually helps a lot.
