[sorchaL46]

Hey everyone!

So i have been reading your thread everyday for the past week, and I think you guys are all amazing. Seeing that I am not the only one going through this stuff is an amazing help, and it is comforting to hear all your opinions on different topics!

It is really clear how much you have all developed, how much stronger you all are and even a bit less emotionally detached you are. Clearly you all go through days where everything seems to have take 5 steps backwards, but from reading this thread over this past week I can say how much you have really all progressed.

Palmtrees,

I don’t think your ex is taking you seriously when you say you don’t want to just be friends, but he clearly doesn’t want to loose you out of his life, because you obviously did create a friendship as well as a relationship. however I am just wondering if you think it might be better to cut him out again. I think the ‘having his cake and eating it’ phrase was very true. I think you might have to be quite strict with him, and cut him out completely for a bit. Even if he does message, be strong enough not to reply?

I guess a bit about my situation:
So my boyfriend and I were together for two years. We became best friends and were literally one person.
Our first year together was a bit of a dream, we basically moved in together and just had the best time, still going out with friends and just him still being obsessed with me. (Which was great!)
The second year was a bit different he had to move away to work and we used to see each other only on the weekends. To be fair it worked really well, we would always be excited to see each other and it would be so fun being together again. However the year was hard, I went through something that no one should ever have to. But he was a great support, always on the other end of the phone if I needed him, and he was prepared to move back to me. However as time went on I became quite anxious and depressed from what had happened to me, which lead me to become super super reliant on him, (basically a clingy mess). After a few months I managed to fix this and took medication etc etc.
Everything because amazing again…
So now…: we have come back from an incredible holiday to Kenya, in which he was amazing, booking us surprise dinners on the beach, him being so touchy feely and so lovey, and had an amazing time. However about a week after we got back he said he had had enough. With no explanation. I did the whole crying begging while I was there. But I calmed down and we both lay there crying saying “a piece of my heart will always be with you” (and all that cringe stuff). And we left it really nicely. He then dropped me off at the station and I said ” I guess this is it for us then” and he replied “yes, for now”
FOR NOW??!?!?!?!?
Talk about mixed messages, anyway I left the car and have spoken to him since, I am now on 30 days of no contact, and although I feel I have been doing great, I’m not ready to talk to him because I am still so confused. So I am extending it to 45 days.

I should probably add that I still have so much of his stuff, his iPad / clothes/ toiletries etc. And vise versa. However on his iPad, his text messages/photos / Instagram /whatsapp/Facebook were all linked to it.
So I have seen that he has spoken to so many girls (anyone who he has ever had a thing with) he is so active on tinder. And he has now deleted all of our pictures from Instagram (no where else) which I don’t understand either. I would never delete it because it’s part of my life and 2 year which I really enjoyed.

I guess toward the end of when we were living apart he took me a bit for granted because it became routine. But I thought we had a lot more, which is why I’m surprised he has deleted pictures, and not text me at all. I haven’t even seen any pictures of our holiday (because he has them all).
To be fair to him he does have a lot going on with his family (he found out about 2 of his dad’s affairs and found out he had another sibling who is 19, and his mum doesn’t know about any of this)
This I guess lead him to be a bit depressive as he hates his job, and wouldn’t really get to see his friends, and it would all be my fault . But my worry is that he is quite a ‘sheep’ I feel like he is easily influenced by friends. And I think this could affect my chances of getting him back :/

Any advice on any of this would be amazing. Im on day 38 of NC, and he hasn’t tried to contact me once, which is heart breaking, i thought i meant a bit more than that!

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