[Shu]

HeyHey,

It’s nice to know that there’s a thread like this!
Anyways, I’ve really screwed up with NC… I got carried away with
how well everything was going with my ex and now I’m in a real
hard position.

So about 2 months ago I broke up with my ex, we’ve still been talking and we’re
extremely good friends. Best friends really. Just after the break up, I was desperate and needy, (basically, I did all the nono’s) and I then found this website.

I tried doing NC but I only held it for about 2 days… Pathetic, right? So a couple days after I tried again, and it lasted about a week cause I honestly thought I improved already, when I definitely did not. However, after that week, she told me the truth about how she felt with the distance between us, and she said she REALLY, and I mean REALLY missed me. She hates it whenever I leave and I let my mouth run off, I ended up making a promise to never “disappear” again.

The other day (Friday 13th) I had really bad luck… (Funny how it was on the famous bad luck day) Anyways, I then snapped at her and I attempted stabbing myself. I stabbed my stomach. We’re long distance friends you see, but I was messaging her as I was sent to hospital and everything. She was freaking out. We both seriously thought I was going to die, as she begged me not to give up on life and just leave her, she said something that really made my heart melt, but confuse me at the same time. She said “I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO DIE ON ME NOW!!”. Yup.

Honestly, I had no idea what type of love she meant. But after a few days, she told me that she does love me. But she doesn’t want to be with me, because one: apparently I don’t care about myself enough. And two: I don’t love myself. That I don’t “love who I am”. I do however, and I explained everything to her. I don’t even know what to do now.

What do you guys think I should do?

[Author]

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