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So.
Since then, we’ve been texting and skyping. Still so confusing tho. We skyped the other day for literally about 7 hours. Was really good to talk face to face and actually get the look in her eyes I had been trying to incite since she left with the utmost confidence. The end result of the skype was the two of us having the cameras set up as tho we were lying down next to each other. Neither one of us could hit the end button, all that good stuff, basically brought it back to the long distance bliss stage. Felt like we made great progress. I made a point of it to pinpoint all of her problems with our situation, and come up with solutions. As well as all my issues she needs to see change. Im in the process of proving it instead of just saying it all. As well as let her know whatever she choosed to do was straight with me. Ive been getting applications for her, looking into the schooling situation, finding her a therapist, apartments, and pretty much prepping everything for when and if she does come back. Which is what I ultimately want. I even got her to basically admit the only reason she wont come back as of yet is because she told all of her friends and her mom that she was there to stay and she doesnt want to upset them (good to know upsetting them is the biggest worry of OUR relationship). I made a point of it to insinuate she could come up here for the weekend, spend a little quality time she never got before she left. She keeps kinda shutting it down. Talked to her yesterday (day after we skyped into bliss stage), and she did a complete 180 and was acting like everything was fine for her. So confusing.
Thanks. That sounds right. So do I just keep letting her contact me, or do I reciprocate since shes the one thats been reaching out to me for the past week
Thanks A.Z. When this is all said and done, let me know how I can make it up to you.
I guess Im just having a hard time finding a ground between still showing her there is love and happiness for her here and anywhere we are, that Im using this time to make the impovements for our situation, and at the same time unfortunately being somewhat cold and disconnected. Im not good at stepping out of character.
Well, I will say this. You definitely know what you are talking about.
In the past week I took my workouts to another level, got real focused on all responsibilities, went out with my friends constantly, put in a bunch of overtime, and generally started to feel alot better.
I continued the NC throughout the day of the last post I had on here. By the end of the day my phone was ringing back to back. I started getting text msgs saying “Well I guess this is it, goodbye” (she left me), then “why wont you pick up the phone”. She kept calling and calling, and I love the girl with all my heart so I couldnt resist picking up the phone anymore. Once I pick it up she starts telling me she wants to be with me and shes wondering if she made a mistake. So I just let her talk and talk to get it out and didnt say much with the risk of sounding like I was hurting. Within a half hour she was already going back and justifying everything.
The conversation boomeranged back and forth until the final outcome of the conversation was we were going to continue a long distance relationship, start skyping, and both work on setting aside X amount of money as a nestegg so we can find a place we both want to move to that neither one of us is from, and start out life all over. So then the texting started back up with “goodnight, i love you” type of stuff.
However, like an idiot a cpl days later I checked her facebook and it went back to “ask who shes in a relationship with”, and I see her talking to guys on her facebook saying things that are way off course for someone whos trying to be in a relationship and work toward a future with someone else. Once I saw that I just got very cold. Then she called me (didnt pick it up) and left a message saying she was going to the beach with her best friend for the weekend and she will call me on Monday. Called me yesterday, didnt answer. So she called me again today to talk and I picked it up half asleep. I kept it pretty short (as my brain doesnt function well without coffee) and asked her to call me back later so I could wake up a bit. She said she’d call me tonite instead and I kinda just hung up the phone in a rush like “ok thats cool, see ya”
Cant tell if Im being an idiot by hanging up the phone like that and continuing the limited contact after somewhat of a resolution, or if I should try to make 100% sure she knows Im still being sweet and sincere and in love with her by ending conversations on a lighter note. If I know her like I think I do, that probably got under her skin.
Im in quite the pickle. Im not sure how to handle the entire scenario
Yes. More or less that she needs to better herself before we can be successful as a unit and she couldnt do it here with me. Along with being homesick. Now shes texting me.
I really appreciate the advice. Its just real difficult with her being states away and since she never really broke up with me, she just left, and still has me listed as her man, its real hard and confusing. I love her so much
Ok. Thanks. Im just thinking that when she left under almost the same circumstances before, I didnt do this and she came back within two weeks. However, she left again. Im just thinking maybe this time its really clicking in her head and we can try again. Do I text her and say Busy whats up, or just completely avoid everything. I feel like communication is key too
So I am wondering if I am making a mistake by not answering the phone considering she is states away and she still has me listed as her man on facebook. I keep thinking that maybe she is calling because she does want to talk about things and work them out. However the main reason I didnt answer the phone besides the steps was, I knew I wouldnt be able to sound strong and healthy. I am skeptical that this is going to backfire in my face and I am going to push her way further.
Thoughts?
So today was going pretty good w the NC. Just got 2 calls back to back. Didnt answer them, but damn that was pretty difficult
So besides the NC, and the time spent on yourself during NC, what do you think is the most important step
I stopped myself.
Awesome. Thanks.
As far as Relationship Rewind, cpl questions. Do I write this letter its talking about before the NC or after? Cause it seems like if Im going to implement NC, then figuring out the letter etc is kind of counterproductive.
Also, it just downloads to my computer like a program?
If you cant answer cause its in the program, I respect that. I just want to know these things before I get it, which I think Im about two minutes away from doing
