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I’m glad that you’re feeling a b it more positive. I guess I will still see how I’m feeling in October or even at/after New Year’s. I know that my feelings for him won’t change. If anything, seeing him in October will just make me love him more :/ but hopefully it’ll be a nice, positive experience where we can just hang out as friends and have a good time. I have to keep focusing on the now instead of thinking what may/may not happen. I just hope that this is all worht it and if he doesn’t want to be with me by New Year’s then I will be able to move on and won’t be left devastated once again :(((( Because I truly don’t think he is willing to give me another chance. Perhaps he just said he would talk to me at New Year’s so I wouldn’t be too sad.
Aw thank you!! I’m so glad I’ve been able to talk to you and moonbunny too! I would like to add you on facebook, but I don’t feel comfortable putting my name on the forums for anyone to see. But if you put yours up, then I’ll add you and let you know it’s me??Sri – I think you should do a no contact for as long as you feel necessary. Once you feel like you are emotionally ready to talk to your ex again, then stop the NC? I know that’s really hard, but you still need some time for yourself and to give him some space. I know that you will get through this <3 This feeling of hopelessness is no fun at all. But you can do it. Like you said, five years couldn’t possibly mean nothing.
I’m thinking about not even meeting my ex at New Year’s now. I’m not sure :/ Sometimes I feel hopeful but other times (like today) I just feel like there’s no point and he will just hurt me again. While there are things that I want to say, I still feel like they won’t make any difference and it’s healthier for me to just forget about him. Although I really don’t want to do that.
I’ve thought about just saying that I don’t want to speak at New Year’s and to have a nice life etc. But then again, if I have ANY chance then… I’m kinda blowing it??? I’m still not ready to talk to him in October, so hopefully I will be then. Because I was really looking forward to hanging out, if he agrees. Then again, maybe that’s not the healthiest option for me :s I’m just not sure anymore. I keep feeling like my ex would ask me how I am feeeling if he really cared. But then again, maybe he is trying to give me space to realize that I don’t need him etcetc because I know that he made that point when we spoke :/ I just don’t know.I’ve had a pretty down morning today :/ I don’t know why. I just think of little things that niggle away and shouldn’t really matter and I just feel like crying. I miss him a lot and want to talk to him, but I still need to give him space. If I’m going to talk to him and hang out in October I need to be in a different place emotionally and that’s not going to happen if I keep thinking about him and getting weepy UGH. I have to stay away from home tonight and I really, really, really don’t want to. There’s no internet or anything to distract me so I know I will probably just cry myself to sleep. I’m going to a place where my ex used to stay with me so that just makes it even more difficult.
I wish I could be a better support for you two but I just feel very sad today 🙁 I don’t want to feel sad or miss him anymore but I do and my heart actually hurts.
All we can do is try and forget about them and work on ourselves. I’ve thought long and hard about giving up on my ex too. Sometimes I think that would definitely be the healthier option for everyone. But then I don’t know for sure and I need to get some things out in the open still. So we will all just have to see what the future brings <3Yeah I think life definitely got in the way. I’ve been thinking about it (even though I said I was going to try and think about it less) but I don’t think my ex will be ready to be in another relationship with me by New Year’s :/ so I might have to let him go. I’m going to talk to him then and if he isn’t keen on working this out together, then I’ll ask if we can try in a few years??? But I’ll try not to wait around with him and get on with my life at the same time. But maybe he’ll always be there for me in the end? I’m not sure. And I can’t assume that he’s going to say no, that’s just what I think may happen at this stage.
That’s right 🙂 We have to make positive changes or we’ll just end up breaking up again! I was really looking forward to sleeping in this morning, but unfortunately I’ve just had a phone call from a colleague because they need help with the computer (I’m getting a ride down there soon) so I think that’s a sign that I shouldn’t spend all day in bed and should get up and do constructive things.
Good luck with your exam and everything moonbunny <3 hope you do really well! Can I ask what it is that you’re studying?Aww Sri!! You’re welcome 🙂 We love you too and only want the best for you! Hopefully the best is exactly what you want – your ex. I’m so glad that you’ve become motivated again! It is really hard to go through no contact, which is why these boards are so helpful because you can rant about your feelings without having to tell them to your ex! I’ll definitely have to have a look at that movie 🙂 Is it on Youtube or anything? I think that we can all do this together 🙂 Let me know how your no contact and everything is going! I really hope you can stay as motivated as you are now :’) Everything will be okay in the end.
I honestly don’t know. You may do. But I don’t want to say ‘yes’ and get your hopes up. I think for now, you can only take one day at a time. And hope that if you and your ex are really meant to be, then you will be. I’m sorry! <3
Aw honey. Maybe he doesn’t want to talk about the relationship because it’s just too painful. 5 years is a long time and I feel like 2 months is not enough time to get over that hurt. I don’t really know what to suggest because I know you are devastated. Perhaps just keep having time to yourself and cease contact with him for now. Then maybe he will come to you and talk about the relationship when he is ready. I’m really sorry that you’re so sad <3 I wish I could cheer you up some how my dear!
I know that my ex did truly love me. Even weeks before the break up he was so sweet. He came to pick me up from work with some little chocolate hearts for me 🙁 It makes me sad to remember that now but it was so cute at the time. He told me to stop covering up my face because it was beautiful the night we had our last argument and it kind of makes me smile to think about how much he loved me and how sweet he was – how hard he tried to make me happy. But I’m smiling with tears in my eyes because it just doesn’t make sense that he could stop loving me so abruptly?
I read some where that as soon as you put your ex out of your mind and focus on making your life and your happiness better, the sooner they will come back, if they’re your true love. So I’m going to try harder than ever to stop thinking about him. I’m going to come on here once a day and use that as my only time to think about my ex. The rest of the day I’m going to focus on moving forward and feeling happier. I still want to come on here, so that’s why I’ll use that as my time to think about him.
My NC finishes at the end of this month, but I’m going to leave it for a bit. Last time I did no contact my ex actually contacting me on the last day. So it’d be interesting to see if he does that again. If he does then I’ll think that it’s fate or that he’s doing some sort of No Contact thing as well to give me space! Imagine if that happened!! I need to stop getting ahead of myself and fantasising about these things though.
Yeah I know it’s so hard thinking that they might be with someone else. We just have to hope that they haven’t. I mean, we’re amazing people and there’s no way they could just forget about us so easily! Two months is still not that long.
Sri – What are you giving up on? What has your ex said during the talk? I hope you’re okay. Both moonbunny and I are here if you need anything.Yeah I agree. I’m not doing No Contact to play games or anything. I’m just trying to give us both some space and trying to make myself feel better and see that I can live without him. Then when I contact him, hopefully I won’t be too worried if he doesn’t reply. At the moment I know I would be devastated so I still need to go through this process for myself.
But yeah, I absolutely agree that if I contact my ex, I have to be in the mind space where I can deal with the fact that he may not reply. I can take into account that they may be busy or don’t want to deal with the emotions. But I don’t think I’ve ever messed him around or said anything I don’t mean. And I wouldn’t do that if I were to contact him.
My ex actually contacted me on the last day of my first No Contact period. He came round to my house and I told him everything that I still felt for him as I didn’t think I should mess around or pretend that I didn’t love him anymore. I was scared that if I didn’t say how I was feeling, then I’d never get the chance. He said that he still cared for me but that we still need to learn how to function separately before we could ever be a couple again. I’ve taken that on the chin and I am now just trying to work on myself, while giving us both space and a NC period.
Hmm sorry if I’ve sort of gone off topic here. Those are just basically my reasons for NC. I feel like it doesn’t work for everyone. But at the moment I need space to myself and I just know that I would be devastated if my ex didn’t reply to me at the moment. Hopefully once I’ve gone through NC (Even if it’s longer than a month) I will feel better about myself and won’t be so sad if he never replies 🙂 That’s just my theory anyway. I think different lengths of NC and different methods NC or no NC work for different people 🙂 It all just depends on your relationship and whether you’re strong enough to take being ignored. Hopefully this all makes sense and I’m not repeating myself too much haha!I think you’re right. I am really sad. And I’ve thought about contacting my ex so many times. But I know that at this stage, I wouldn’t be able to handle it if he didn’t reply to me. I’m not in a position where I can not feel anything towards him.
I still don’t know though. Maybe I should contact him but at the moment I really don’t know what I would say to him. I’m going to try and hang out in October some time. Hopefully by then, if he says no, I will feel better about myself and won’t mind if he doesn’t want to. But I’m really hanging out for this time to come quicker. I’m thinking I maybe should contact him now, just to get a feel of how he would react towards me. But the truth is I’m too scared.
The urge to walk round to his house and just knock on his door is strong too. That way it’d be difficult to ignore me. But that seems a bit desperate and I’m also terrified that he would have another women there or something.
At the moment, No contact is the only thing that helps me feel a bit more in control. Of course I’m sad and of course I miss him but I just feel like I would be a lot more upset if I contacted him and he didn’t reply? I don’t know :///sri – I have no idea how your ex is feeling :(( I wish I could say that you should just ask him but sometimes that’s way too scary and you may not want to hear what he has to say. I really wish I could contact my ex. It’s not even just because I’m doing no contact, I just feel like he doesn’t really want to hear from me? If he did, then he would contact me, surely? I’m still feeling as though I should probably give up and move on, but I don’t want to because I love him so much and I don’t want to just give up on him. But if he wants me to, then I will. I’m just not sure what he wants!!!! Every morning I check my phone and get disappointed that he hasn’t text me :/ I think it’s starting to become a problem. It’s not that I expect him to, I’d just really like it idk.
Moonbunny – I agree. It’s kind of lame that we both realize these things AFTER our relationships are over 🙁 I wish I had seen these things while we were still together and I could’ve worked on the things that were making him feel drained and unhappy.
My dog is a cairn terrier like Toto from the Wizard of Oz 🙂 She’s sooo cute. It’s her birthday on Monday so she’ll be 1 year old!! My ex really liked her as well. When he came to talk to me last he was sad that she wasn’t at home.
I know that my ex has hung out with the girl I saw. I have no idea if they’re in a relationship or not. They probably aren’t. But I got scared thinking of what he may have said about me. Or if she would’ve seen me and then told him that he was right to dump me or something :/ I don’t know. It was mostly a shock to see her. She was the last person in the world I wanted to see. LOL that’s how I feel as well. I feel like no one will love him in quite the same way as me. Then again, maybe that’s what he needs.
If he is with her it may be a rebound but we have been broken up for 2 months now so I’m not really sure. I’ve just felt so down this morning and I’m not really sure why. Sometimes I stress that I’m the only one that feels a connection between us and for him, it is all gone. I seriously cannot wait until it’s finally October and I will hopefully be able to hang out with him. I miss him so much, even just seeing him would be nice. Although I’ve been avoiding places that he goes in our town because I don’t want to see him in public somewhere… I might burst into tears!
Oooh I really like some of Kodaline’s songs so I’ll definitely have to listen to that 🙂 Music has really helped me. I just wish I could see in my future and know that everything is alright. Whether I’m with my ex, single or with someone else. I just want to be happy :(((((((( Right now, I feel as though I can’t be happy without him and I know that I have to get to a point where I am. I’m going to try and think about him less, as my councillor said that is just like scratching at the open wound :/I just spoke to my friend about it and he didn’t deny that they were together but I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything ://// *gulp* there are a few friends that I think would say something if he was with her, but maybe they’re keeping it from me so I don’t get hurt. I’m not sure. At the moment I’m just assuming things completely.
I know that I definitely relied on my ex too much for my happiness when it really wasn’t up to him. He did things because he thought I would be happy and he should have just done things to make himself happy. I really appreciate everything that he did for me and I hope that I made him half as happy as I made him.
I’m still hoping it’ll be okay. And that if it’s meant to be then it will be. If I’m still thinking of him in a couple of years, I may try and get in contact again. Idk.
Yeah it must be hard to not know what to do. I still feel directionless sometimes and don’t know whether I’m doing the right thing going through no contact or if I should hang out with him etcetc. And I don’t know if I’m working on myself enough or anything. But I guess we both have to take things day by day and not think too much about the future.
My trip to the councillor wasn’t too bad. They basically just helped me realize that I have to work on myself because it’s my life and I need to be happy whether I’m back with my ex or not. Then I was in the city with my family and I saw one of his good girl-friends who I have supsected has slept with him or is in a relationship with him. Before my first no contact I asked him about her and he said that he would never be with her because she’s crazy (which is a bit mean but I don’t mind because I don’t like her at all haha). So I kinda just have to take his word for it. When I saw her I felt really, really angry and like I was going to throw up. It was definitely a shock. I’m wondering if she text him to say that she saw me :/ I really hope she doesn’t mention me or if she does, it makes him miss me. I wanted to text him a silly remark about seeing his ‘charming new girlfriend’ but that wouldn’t go done well and I’m still doing no contact. Now is not the time to start throwing accusations and assuming things.
After we had left the restaurant where I saw his friend, my family went food shopping so I stayed in the car with my dog and just thought about things. I was sad but mostly I just missed him sooo much and wanted to remind him of some good times that we had. It was really tough and I really miss him but idk I still feel like there’s still a connection between us and there always will be. I know you feel the same about your ex and I really hope that you find a direction to keep you moving forward <3 good luck with no contact.I’ve seen my mistake and I know I should’ve accepted him for who he was. It was just that I was used to him not smoking :/ It seemed like that was the person I knew and then the old person who used to smoke a lot was back and that was kind of hard to deal with. I still loved him, of course, but there was suddenly this other side of him that I wasn’t used to.
He never smoked it around me. Especially if it was just the two of us. He said that wouldn’t be fair and would make me uncomfortable so I really, really appreciate that he did that. Although it meant that I felt that he didn’t like spending time with me as much and was always worried that he was itching to get away and smoke weed with his friends :/ One day just before the break up when we were arguing (this was basically the argument that led to the break-up) he asked me to leave and I was like ‘Just so you can smoke weed with your friends” and he said ‘At least I have friends’. Which cut really deep. I know he probably regrets saying that because he knows how insecure I felt about that sort of thing, but I can’t help but think of it sometimes. That’s the only thing I’m truly angry at him about.
I know that if we talk at New Year’s I’ll be scared to bring up his smoking :/ but it is a large part of his life now and something that needs to be addressed since he contributed greatly to our breakup. I’m sure we would be able to figure something out but I’m terrified that he won’t want to limit his smoking and that it will feel like he is choosing that over me, a PERSON again :'(
