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I agree its strange not to ask after me as we were together a long time and he spent time with these friends. Maybe he didn’t ask because he knows they would tell me they had seen him. And he may think even a how is she will lead me to think he’s interested.
I’m not sure I want to text him because if I ask how he is it may set me back41 days of NC! Do you think that the whatapp status change that I said about could have been ‘breadcrumbs’ from my ex? And he may have been prompting me to say something? As I also said never in 4 years has he ever had a status.
Still not sure if I will ever contact him. My friend and her husband saw him in the local pub a couple of weeks ago and he went over and spoke to them but he didn’t even ask after me. Would you say this is normal, could he still be getting over the breakup? It’s been nearly 11 weeks since it ended.Yes , you are right. I’m sure it will take several months for my emotions to stabilise completely.
4 years is a long time and I guess for both of us we will both feel loss as sadness regardless of who ended the relationship. Maybe now I’ve made no contact for so long he may feel the loss too.
I’m definitely not ready to contact him as im not sure if I want to, so im going to continue NC and keep moving forward and keep gaining confidence.Also I noticed yesterday that he put a status on his whatsapp, all it said was….Going for a 5.30am nun (think he meant to write run!)
In the 4 years we were together not once did he EVER write a status. Do you think this means that he’s met someone and is trying to impress her.
It’s day 29 of NC, maybe it’s time to delete his number.It’s now been 9 weeks since my breakup and im on day 27 of NC. As ive said before the first week of breakup we had contact and then 2 weeks NC then I text him for a couple of weeks and he then told me not to contact him and since then I’ve been NC.
I wish I had done NC from the start because I made all of the usual mistakes of trying to talk him out of breaking up with me. And telling him how I feel etc. Thankfully during that time I was very nice and wasn’t angry at all.
I think that NC is such a good thing because when a breakup happens emotions are all over the place probably for both people.
Although I’m on day 27 I know that I still could not contact him, firstly because im not even sure I want to and secondly there’s no way I’m ready. My feelings still keep changing.
I’m feeling so much happier now, I realised that I wasn’t happy for a while with him and I’d really changed and felt negative and miserable. I felt that my self esteem and confidence had gone.
Since the breakup my confidence has come back, im really busy and motivated with work (im self employed), I’ve arranged a holiday for next year and im socialising a lot more.
I still think about him every day, sometimes it’s good things and sometimes not. I didn’t expect the range of emotions I feel. I also wonder if he ever thinks of me. How long does it take to heal from a long relationship? Despite the positive changes, I still feel sadness and loss.I’m on day 14 of no contact. I can’t believe the range of emotions I have been going through.
I had a few really good days feeling positive and feeling strong.
I felt like I lost myself in the relationship and I changed so much and had become unhappy because of my resentment and the arguements. I realised that although my actions caused the final breakup that he was also responsible for some of our problems. And that he has just walked away with no care in the world and moved on with his life.
Then BAM! yesterday I felt an overwhelming sense of loss again, and a feeling of sadness. And guilt that he had tried so hard the last 6 months to make me happy and save our relationship and how much I may have hurt him by not showing my love and how I had switched off.It’s been 11 days no contact. I haven’t been tempted to contact him as I know it’s too soon and im not ready in case I get rejected.
But is it normal to feel a massive range of different emotions.
In the morning I wake up feeling empty and as the day goes on my feelings can change.
Does everyone feel like this after a breakup?Thank you for your help. It’s good to have advise from someone who can see outside of the situation.
I will continue with no contact and work on myself.Yes, hindsight is a wonderful thing.
We both made mistakes in the relationship, no cheating or anything like that, but both probably didn’t communicate as well as we could have. He managed to make change but I didn’t and the last 6 months were very difficult.
Yes I don’t think he could carry on the way it was, it was hard for both of us.
I’m not sure what else he has going on but from the text he had he mentioned that work was very busy and making him feel stressed and he wasn’t sleeping either which wasn’t helping.
The text we exchanged were just casual and maybe he was just being polite as he didn’t want to upset me. He cut me off so suddenly.
Yes it’s been 7 days since last contact.Thank you, being out of the relationship is already enabling me to see things differently. Im thinking of how my behaviour must have affected him and also how just a few simple steps could have prevented this happening but I couldn’t see it at the time.
And sadly im also realising how much he really did love me, albeit too late.
I love and miss him but know for now I have to heal.Also,when he told me to give him time and I only gave him 2 weeks. Although my text were just friendly with no pressure to talk or see each other that maybe he felt pressure from me? And there wasn’t enough time for him to sort his head out too? Because I feel that by him saying to give him time there was still a chance then but he hadn’t had time to miss me or experience life without me.
Do people that end relationships go through a different range of emotions that the people who get finished with?I did write him a letter 6 days after he broke up with me and I apologised for hurting him.
I also told him that I need to work towards letting go of past issues and old arguments. And that I knew that without time apart things wouldn’t have changed.
The last contact we had I told him that I had been working on myself to change how I think about things and how I can resolve things within myself.
I would prefer not to send any more text or an email as it’s been 5 days no contact and I don’t want to irritate him. And I feel I should respect his decision to not contact him.
I don’t think that unless he can think of a the good times or nice feelings again he will have any desire to talk to me.
I have told him how I feel about him but im pretty sure at this moment in time that means nothing.
How can I show actions unless I have a chance? How would I proceed after 30 days?You are also right, he wanted to make me happy but I’d put my barriers up. In the last few weeks of our relationship he kept asking if I was happy and also asked if I loved him. He was still talking about me moving in with him and we talked about what we were going to d for our holiday next year.
I feel that I hurt him by being the way I was.
