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Yup — It’s done.. I got closure yesterday. Gotta move on. Got hit with that “maybe we can try again years from now… but I can’t promise anything.” What kind of BS is that? She’s probably just trying to minimize hurting me. I respect that but that is also an attempt at hope. It’s false. I know it is.
It hurts so much — day 1 all over again, but this time, I will not be contacting her. I need to move on and past this. I know that there are better things waiting for me in the future. I just need to get out of this rut first. I will. Time will heal me.
I’m fighting the urge of turning off my emotions. I know I shouldn’t. I will move past this. I need to work on myself. I never really knew how to be by myself. Maybe this is the time.
Day 21.. I miss her… I’ve been working on me though.. I don’t think all hope is lost.. She needs space.. Time…
Day 17 NC*
Does looking at her snapchat/twitter timeline/instagram post disqualify me from NC? Do I need to start over? I don’t think I do — I am doing fine, better than I was a week ago, and WAYYYYY better than I was two weeks ago. I accidentally liked one of her pics. She liked a video of my niece talking (14 months). But we haven’t been in direct contact for 17 days. What do you guys think?
Also — I’ve been visiting her family (the ones in my city) every week for the past 2 weeks. She knows it because she has seen my snapchat story. I feel fine when I am around them (not in denial). Even her mom. Nothing has really changed in the dynamics of our relationship except for the No Contact rule. Idk… One day, I have hope, and the next I’m like “f*ck it. I should move on..” what do yall think?
Thanksgiving came and went… And although I know she has been checking my Snapchat, she hasn’t liked any of my Instagram pics. I have been sorta checking up on her social network accounts, but I haven’t engaged in any contact. I was sure she was going to contact me on thanksgiving (November 28, 2014) but didn’t. I am sure she hasn’t said anything to any of her family. I kind of managed my expectations and sorta didn’t expect her to contact me on Thanksgiving, however, when she didn’t, I felt kind of bad. I am managing well with my life without her. I do miss her. Sometimes, I even get the urge to contact her. But I am not. Did I violate the no contact rule by checking her stuff? I don’t feel like I need to restart, however, I do know that I should stop (or at least minimize) my visibility on social networks, and stop checking her stuff.
Her reason for the break up was that she “has many decisions to make, and I am just adding pressure and stress to her life…” When I asked if she really doesn’t want to be with me anymore, she said “for now, I can’t” I know that could be one of two things: she really means that (most likely), or she said that only to minimize the hurt she would inflict in me…
Do you guys have any advice for me?
