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So Im on Day 5 of NC….trying so hard not to message her. But i miss her so bad…..its times like this that I feel Im not doing any progress and going backward. I want to be stonger than this in order to be better but i cant help it…i feel so sad and lonely right now….doing the exercises that kevin suggested in the emails help a bit but still im hurting so bad…. but i know i shouldnt feel like this if i want to get her back.
Also, did any of you bought the EBP advanced system? Is it worth it, did it work? I could really need some extra help…
Hi lin91,
Thanks for your opinions. What you said make sense…I guess i just have to be stronger and know that although it is tough right now… its something we both need to deal with.
Thanks lin91,
I’ll look into it. And yea i think i’ll try yoga too since my dad is doing it too.
I hope she is thinking about us and also her own mistake just as much as me with mine. I truly believe if we both know what we truly did wrong and that we are and still love each other really much we can be together and be way better than we ever been and will be if we never broke up…
Also she’s never really god at expressing her feelings, and especially now that we are ” no longer together”, I fear that she may not even tell me she regrets or what ever shes feeling…this one of the reason I am afraid of when I doing this NC, is that I have support here with my family while she still there alone…and probably really sad too…
I know it may be a very bad idea, but should i try talk to her about how she feeling during NC? Everyone is different, what if shes thought if i care enough i should have contact her earlier and not a full 30 days..?
Oh also what if she think she “knows” that she is doing the right thing and will not accept me back no matter what I do? I dont know how to make her believe me…i dont want to just keep saying it or she’ll think I only say i will and wont do it, but i am trying my best….
Hi lin91,
Thank you for your replying again. What you said makes me feel much better. I know her well enough that she wont get effected by her friends so easily(I really hope so). And we did have a wonderful time together beside the recent 5-6 months which been stressful and tired for the both of us(plus the fights). I really do hope she still have feelings for me and not forgot about it because of what happen.
I know i habe anger issue and it got better before I met her, but i guess its kinda back these past few months. I know its getting worse now, thinking back I dont even know what i thought i have the need to get mad with her….I thought about going to a therapist or a anger management class, but i dont think i have the financial support for those. But i have been reading books and whatever help i can find online and doing the exercise like meditation. So i hope these are just as affective too…unless there something else i can do if i cant go to a therapist?
Thank you
Hi patricia12,
Thank you for your support. Just to update some stuff in my 4th day of NC….I been reading a lot and doing my meditation exercise. I am getting much better when Im feeling upset or when things that will normally make me lose my temper. I am calmer and been thinking more before my actions. (just came back from a visi to the bank to do some paperwork with my mom. Normally i would have lost at least some patience and whatnot having to wait so long and dealing with people. But this time for the first time Im the one telling my mom to be patience and be calm when some sh*** happens. And she was a teacher so she got a lot of patience.)Anywhoo…I am getting better at my temper and actions. But then again i cant help but feeling sorry for myself and my ex for all the times that I could have acted this way and avoid so many fights and suffering for both of us. I know all i can do is to continue trying to do better and improving myself…but I am so afraid that WHAT IF she doesn’t want me back? I know what Kevin said in the emails that she will be thinking of me too but its so hard not to feel like she still care for me when Im feeling so lonely while trying so hard for us. I guess Im afraid that she may talk to her friends and try or did convince herself we are better off like this…..im terrified but i know i shouldnt feel like this when I am trying to get better….and sometimes i dont know what to feel or think…..any advice anyone? Please and thank you.
Hi patricia12,
Thanks for reading.
Me and my ex dated for more than 2 years, almost 3 years.
I fully understand your point. The last thing i want is to get back with her and have her sees me getting mad again and cause her more harm.
I am taking some kind of anger management class. I start reading books and today i started meditation. I also been doing the simple taking 10 breaths when i feel upset which prove to help a lot.( Although i dont have my ex with me currently, but i do have a older brother that really can test my patience with around). So i am seeing some good progress in me even though its still in a early stage.I hope we can be together because like a quote Kevin post on his page ” Happiness doesnt come as a result of getting what we don’t have but to appreciating what we do have”. I know now that im lucky to have her and I have to cherish her more than anything since i really do love her. But for us to be together again and be happy, i have to change myself and im trying and will do my best.
Hi lin91,
Thank you for reading my post. Yes, even after i know regrets wont help anything and i have to change and improve myself…i still blame myself from time to time( i guess thats me feel grief to feel better for the day?) But i have also thought about all the things i have done wrong and what she done wrong too to make me get mad/ we fight. I am not saying this to blame her or anything but i am really trying to see this from both sides.And for your question, like i said in the post i did sen her texts and a email before the NC. But yesterday she text and we talk a bit because there a emergency. BUT we only stay on that subject….no jokes, no flirting, no “i miss you”… I feel like i did good, i control myself from talking to her how i feel and how i am trying so hard and will continue to try hard to change….but at the same time i felt like she was cold to me…she didnt said anything else other than “i hope youre doing well”
Im feeling strong, i want to change me…for her and myself and hopefully for our future…but honestly Im still really sad right now….
