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Yea I fully understand that. She did told me that she never told her parents about our fights…so maybe the reason was rally just the money. Because she did mention money was kinda tight for them. But then again she may lying about it or she really feel like she wanted more space and move out.
And yea I have been doing my own stuffs to, reading, meditating, going to gym, meeting friends and family, doing my own works/hobbies.
Also after the BU i have had a lot of talks with my parents. A lot of life lessons learned too.
I guess what there is left to do is up to me. I have to do NC and continue to improve myself.
Also i though tomorrow would be day 4 since I last contacted her about i miss her and stuff…should i start over from when she send me Bday wish? I mean she initiate the contact…?
Hi patricia12, thanks for the birthday wish 🙂
yea so we chatted for a bit..not really personal (after i said thank you for the bday wish and she said from the fb photos that my family member posted it look like we all had fun..) she started talking about stuff about our apartment/utilities(we used to live together but now her parents found a cheaper place for her, so we wont be living i=together anymore. (this was decided before the breakup…and i just hope it wasnt some sort of sign). So after we talk about that topic, i end the conversation…
She was being quite cold after the bday part of the conversation. I mean its not like i expect her to be like when were still dating…but its scary and heartbreaking for me because i feel like i may have lose her already….maybe because its not 30days yet
and yea i have been reading about anger management and how to have confident and not being needy and clingy that makes the girl lose attraction etc.
So small update, yesterday was my birthday and my ex messages me to wish me happy birthday and hope that I have a great day with family and friends…I know im in NC but since I already messaged her a few days back telling her i miss her and still care about the relationship..I though it will be rude and weird? to not at least reply her thank you for the wishes. ( if I said i miss and still care about us..why wouldnt i reply thank you to something nice she did? right?)
So I replied her. I keep my message short. Telling her thank you for the birthday wish and I am enjoying my family trip.
What should i do now? Ignore her is she text me back?
Thanks patricia12, what you said made me feel better.
So small update today…I still miss her terribly..but am planning to keep doing my NC. I am hoping what i did is for the best for me. I already let her know i miss her and still care about our relationship and wish we could make it work…so all i can do now is to give her space and time for me to continue work on myself.
I just have a few questions though…I am wondering which system i should buy? I am currently working on myself but without a “textbook” or “guide”..plus i think the “worksheets” would keep me busy from going crazy. What do you guys think? Any recommendations?
and yea i guess i cant expect her to know that I’ve have changed even if i magically 100% a changed man in one week….the 30 days of no contact…this is my first break up…and ofcourse my first time doing NC…I may be asking a stupid question but after 30 days…does things really just be better? Like my ex stop ignoring me…we can talk normal again? My only worry for NC is that it may not do anything to her(she just keep ignoring me/ still hasn’t change her mind about giving em second chances etc) and will make things worse like she may think i really dont care about her anymore, or she feels that she is better off without me and my temper..etc) Again this is what i fear…I COULD BE 100% WRONG!
Hi patricia12,
I understand what you said…I know ive hurt her but for what kind of connection we had i just though and still hoping she will have feelings for me and that will give me a chance to prove to her and show her i’ve change and will continue to be better and have a better relationship than we ever had.honestly right now im so afraid that she IS 100% wanted to be done with me and not even giving me a tiny chance /hope that i would be better for myself and us. At least she have to sure I AM hopeless before dumping me for good. I have been doing my best at trying to make myself better like reading books and going to gym and meditation. But my one fear is losing her. I KNOW i should be doing this for myself as a person, but I want her to be with the better me, not another girl…she stood by my side when I was “bad”, she deserve to be with the new and improve me.
I really love her so much…and for what we had i only hope and wish that this is a obstacle that we can overcome and not to be our doom..
thanks lin91, i am feeling weak..and really confused….my brother told me i should just take the break up and be done with it…but i cant help but feel that she didnt 100% mean it….i dont know i just really think that if she wan to break up she should just did it when we had the big fight and not a small one when were on skype…..also im so scare and heartbroken because i dont know why my ex is acting this way(ignoring/not replying me or contact me) I feel like she is a totally different person right now….i not saying im was a perfect boyfriend but except for my short temper, i was a good boyfriend. we really had a connection together…we both meet both of our parents and stuffs. Her family like me and mine like her too(my mom loves her). So i really dont know why shes acting so cold/different just because of that skype fight? i know it may be a built up of all the old fights…but still couldnt she give me one for chance to prove myself? she shouldnt be angry anymore now..its been more than a week…i feel so weak right now….want to wake up from this nightmare so i can find her laying next to me, and i want to hug her so bad…damn i miss her
Hi lin91
Im sorry i didnt mean to ignore anyones help or advice. (i also didnt see your last post, before i did what i did)
I just have so much going on in my head and what my friends said kinda make me feel better or give me some kind of hope..?( also to point out the points he gave was also from his current gf..that girls may think like that) So i thought from a girl point of view, maybe my ex is waiting for me to show that i care and that i should not wait another moment to let her know how i feel…
Either way I did what i did and i can only hope for the best for me. I will keep doing NC too
And sorry if I make you feel that you wasted your time on me, it was never my intention and i am very thankful for everyone that have been helping me
Hey guys..so heres what happened… Yesterday I meet up with two of my close friends (both guys). And they advice me that I should text my ex a short message to let her know that i miss her and still care about her and our relationship and that I want to make it right. (They are both quite experience with girls and relationships)
So in the end they convinced me to send my ex that one short message( i was not needy, no begging…just tell her how i feel and that i really do care about our relationship…..) My friend’s point was that she may said BU because she mad and its like a test(?)……for her to see how serious i am about us and how i would react..and that the 30days wait may make her think that I was really not serious about the relationship and may actually move on or something…
From my friends exp, he said that he had a few ex that are the one that said the break up…and he just agreed to them. But later his exes told him that they actually didnt mean it and wanted to test him/see how much he cares. Thats why he advice me not to do the same mistake as my ex may think the same way too.
I really dont know if i did the right thing…she hasnt reply to me yet too….im so confused now.
Hi amy111,
Yes NC is pretty hard for me, even when I first started NC i know its not going to be easy..but it still hurt not being about to talk to my ex and she didnt contact me too.. Im sorry to hear about you and your ex…maybe you need to give him so time and space and i think NC will be good for both of you.Hi patricia12,
I know and i will try my best! Thanks! 😀Hi patricia12,
Thanks you for replying. I understand you point and appreciate it. I am constantly reminding/controlling my anger. The meditation im doing is really helping.
Also yea today my older brother was kinda being mean and acting he’s “asking for a fight” mode. But I totally control my temper( the old me would have a fight with him)..i just old him how i feel about whatever our situation was and that it. I can feel that he was kinda surprised too. SO that is what I am a little proud of today…except the fact i still miss my ex sooo much and it still hurts me….
I guess Im just trying to learn and want to be prepared for whats coming after NC…I do over think stuff sometimes…
So a little update at the end of my Day5 of NC…..I try to keep myself busy today…I went to the gym, read some books…but i also been doing a lot more research online trying to find any free or helpful system that i can invest in because I really feel i need the extra tips and guidance.
I found a system which seems to be quite popular, by the name of “Text your EX back”. I studied and take notes of from a free preview version of it and it did make me feel better.
Honestly I am just terrified and lost when I think about what am I going to say or text to my ex when NC is over? Do i really need “text your ex back ” system? or does Kevin’s system provide any guide on texting/talking to her? Like what to do if she dont reply or etc. (from my research “text your ex back” is quite resourceful in that)
I am so scare to make another mistake and end up losing her. What should I do?
Thanks! Ok that sound like a plan. Finger crossed that she contact me first, I just need a hint to know that she really miss me.
Hi lin91,
Thank you for replying. I guess i should know better than anyone else that I should compare us with other people..everyone is different anyway…
And no i havent contacted her and she hasnt contacted me too (which may be why I am also really sad about, i guess i just really hoping she’ll say something to me….)
I dont want to go back to square one, and i dont want to lose her. I think im just really scare 30 days would be too much, and she may think that I have accepted the BU or hate her(for no saying anything to her for so long)
I also watch a video and they say 3 weeks is the peak for your ex to really miss you dearly and that I can start my contact with her after that. Again everyone is different, so maybe that would be a good idea?
But no matter what i have to feel and be better before thenHi patricia12,
Thanks for replying, Im feeling better. But I also been reading a lot of other people cases, some people commented that waiting 30 days eventually push their ex away or make them(ex) feel that “we” no longer care about them anymore…. or that its rude of us to suddently want to talk casually after disappearing/ignoring them(if the texted or called)…Im kinda worry(trying not to freak out) that what if this happens to me….i know “what ifs” is stupid and unhealthy but it is very scary and hard to ignore….Im trying to stay strong, im doing stuffs..going to gym..but my mind just cant stay completely away from her….I feel so weak when Im feeling like this… so worry if i can really change anything..
