[S.H]

Hey guys quick update,
So today I went on the hiking place where she took me to when we started dating. There is one huge rock there and I took a picture of it(the rock is unique and its one of the small iconic place in the hiking place so Im sure she remember it), I later send her a text saying: “Guess where I’m at! I remember how long it took us to get here. It was a tiring day but its worth it once we got to your “secret place” ? We should come here together again someday.”

So its been a day and she hasnt reply to me. What should I do? I didnt chose to call her because she didnt pick up last time. It feels like she not ready to talk to me, but I thought she may be open to text…especially since its a memory text.

Cant help but feeling depress…but I didnt just sit around all day. Today has been productive for me! But still it just stinks that she wont reply 🙁

Its been more than a month and a half since we BU. And we started talking, but it feels like she still has he walls up when I try to talk something rather than the topic on the apartment….

Any ideas what should I do?

[S.H]

Hey FishingTheSky,

thanks for replying, your words really makes me feel better and reminded me to keep going.

I am sad that me and my ex are not together..but what makes me sad even more is the realisation of my behaviour( my wrong doing) when we are together. I always though I was doing great but now that the relationship ended that i can really see how much better and more i could have done.

I really love her and I really want be with her again because I know at least now I am and will be a better guy for her. But if she refuse, although I will be sad on the fact that sometimes its just too late to turn back. But I will always cherish the moments we have together and wish her all the best. She changed my life for the better forever!

She will always be in special place in my heart and I will always be thankful for her whether she is with me or not. If shes with me thats great, because I can give her all the love she deserve and all the love I can give. But if shes not with me. Im thankful for her because of all the love I am able to give to my other half someday.

Like you said I know I will be happy again someday, but she will add to my happiness. So I wont stop fighting for her until I know its time to let go…

I pray for our happy endings that we seek, no matter what it will be!

[S.H]

Hey FishingTheSky and MisterHandy,

Thanks again for your words. It is really comforting to be able to talk to people about my situation here, and I dont feel so alone and hopeless.

Since I am back to what use to be “our” apartment…I’m away from family too…I have been having a harder time than I thought. Once being back in the apartment, it felt nothing like it use to…it felt empty and sad without her…this place have too many of our memories. I will be moving to a new place in 10 days too, Im hoping being in a new place will make me feel better and dont have to constantly being remind of her in this old apartment. (get detach from this place and its memories)

I know I gotta be strong! Im trying so hard…but GOD.. my heart hurts so bad these days! 🙁

I think what is the hardest part for me is that I know that even if I can never be with her again…she will always be in my heart. I dont regret us being together and I never will. Shes will always be that special to me…which is why I really want to get her back if I have a chance if god forbids. But I feel that deep down in my heart I’ll never stop loving her, she made me a better person and even made me realise how to really love someone feels like.

Which is why I can’t say I am 100% sure I can totally move on from her which may be a stupid thing to say/think since I have put in so much work during no contact and other self improving classes….but thats why my heart tells me 🙁

[S.H]

Hey MisterHandy and FishingTheSky,

Thank for your replies. Reading your words makes me feel better. I know improving myself and hopefully getting my ex back is a difficult process.

I guess as much as I want to be or think that I am strong enough for it, it is still pretty hard(almost depressing) when I’m actually talking to her again and trying to get her attraction back…

I will be more stronger and much more prepare! I’ll do my best!

Thanks again for replying guys! I really appreciate all the help and support

[S.H]

Hey Guys,
first, Hey FishingTheSky, Thanks for your input, I feel exactly how you feel and I will and trying to think about all the positive things I can about what I had with her and my life, especially my family members who have support me during this time.

So heres my update, I got back to US to “our” apartment and I saw she left quite a lot fo stuffs ( which is quite strange since she said she is completey moved out)

So I called her but she didnt pick up. So I text her saying: “Hey, I just called to asked about the apartment stuff. Get back to me when your free 🙂 Thanks!”

1 hour later she call me back(I let it rung a while before answering) After I said “halo” She said she that is busy and that we can only do this quick. From the background noise and her being out of breath I can hear that she is hiking/running or doing exercise outdoor with friend. (At one point during our conversation she said “theres a skunk!” like she talking to her friend…)

So we end up only talk for a bit. We only talk about stuffs related “our” apartment, since she is moving out. So I just wanna get those final bill utilities stuffs( plus why her stuffs still here) out of the way first because its important. But right after that, before I can even have a chance to ask her hows she doing…she say she really gtg. But she does say that I can call or text her if I need any other help from her or she can call me about it.

Also during the conversation I was not being needy and making some jokes with her. She was laughing but I dont know if she was trying to test me by acting tough too or she laughing with her friend…

From the conversation, she sound friendly but like a stranger kind of way. To be honest after the phone call I felt like crying because I cant even sense that we sound like we’ve ever dated at all…… ( I dont know how people should act after a break up, since this is my first.. but its so painful for me to think that a person i love so much now treats me like a stranger….)

We will meet up for sure because we still have to exchange stuffs like her deposit and what not..but she didn’t tell me when she’ll be back…

What should I do now?….. If thats even a question I should be asking now…:(

[S.H]

Hey guys

So today Im feeling kinda lost…my ex hasnt reply me (not really expecting she will, but to be honest I still hope that she surprisingly will reply me something).

So everyday I have been doing something like going out with friends/gym/meditating/and doing the worksheets from Kevin, etc. I do feel better than a month ago, but I dont know…today Im feeling down. I feel like some of the emotions just come back from deep within my heart or something. I really miss my ex and I start to wonder what if no matter what i do I can never be with her again. ( I know I should be ok with that fact IF it does happen).

I know I should be a better person for myself, and I can be better for myself and future partner even if her wasnt my ex. I know I should focus on working myself, stop thinking of what if and that sometimes things just happen and that is life.

But I cant help but feeling sad… I want her to be more than a chapter of my life and not my whole life and be with me till the end. But I also know that if that doesnt happen ,its out of anyones control. But it is just really sad…

I guess maybe deep down I know I may never be able to fully let her go… today is definitely one of my weak days *sigh

[S.H]

Thanks guys! Your words really makes me feel better and it does make sense.I guess I just had a moment of weakness…

My future/my own life is control my non other forces than myself.

Whether I want my ex back or not, I know I gotta do the things I need to to be a better man. And since I do want her back, I should work harder to be sure that if I do get her back I can be a better lover for her.

Thanks again guys! Wishing you all the best too!! 🙂

[S.H]

Hey guys,

So quick update, last night I was out with some friends and one of them told me that Im not compatible with my ex is because of our zodiac. Im a cancer and my ex is a gemini.

So i read online about how a gemini girl would behave, but I gotta said my ex was not flirty/or super outgoing person like they described. She dont go to parties/clubs (just like me) and she doesnt have tons of guys friends. She does make me feel insecure but because she send more time on her work than us prior to the BU.

So according to the “zodiac law”. Cancer and Gemini are not that compatible but I never believe in these stuff before but im kinda unsure now. I dont know does this stuff really are one of the reason why people are great or not great with each other.

I really want her back , but could this also be one of the sign that maybe we are just not for each other….:(

[S.H]

Hi Mister Handy and lin91,

My first NC was on 8th of July, but I talked to her after a while and then she wishes me Happy Birthday on my bday and we talk a bit. So patricia12 advised me to start my new NC from my birthday which was 16. So its been 26 days since.

Thanks for input! Yea I agreed with what you guys said. After more thinking I think I should gave her more time to respond again (if she wants to) and to also hopefully show her that I’m not needy for her respond/attention. Even though to be honest I still really care about her and want to talk to her.

Thanks again, I’ll keep you guys updated!

[S.H]

So its been three day since I reply to her on FB. she still hasnt reply.

Im thinking send her a short message saying I’ve watched the show she suggested me to watch when we were still together. And that I love it and ask hows shes been.

Will this be alright? Its been over a month since our break up and I think maybe its time for us to start talking like friends again.

[S.H]

Hi Mister Handy,

It is exciting to see that she finally initiate contact with me. But at the same time its kinda scaring for me because I dont really know what is the right move to do now.

I agreed with you that I should be careful if I am going to send her messages so I dont scare her off or make me sound desperate.

Its been over a month since we have broken up.

Thanks!

[S.H]

Hey guys!
Glad the we are able to find support from each other here! Wishing all the best to each of you!

So a little update from me…
So me and my ex texted a few times after my last post but every time the topic is about bills,rent or stuff that have to be taking care of since she moving out from the apartment. (all “business” talk, never about our relationship)

So we havent been talking at all for some times now (after all the stuffs have been taking care of) but two days ago she suddenly sent me a link on FB message. And it was a link to a gif of a little bear. heres the link: http://imgur.com/gallery/zn7O7QW

That is so random. At first I didnt know what to reply, so I replied to her later that day saying haha its cute, and how it kinda remind me of her when she hold on to me when we have our tickle fights.
I try to be chill and also bring up a good memory. Its been two days and she hasnt reply yet even though she has seen my reply.

I know should not be desperate for her reply and I’m not. I’m just wondering should I initiate contact now that she have initiated contact? and is this a sign that she misses me or shes being confused? Also this is the first message she sent after our break up that is not about “business” stuffs.

What you guys think I should do or should not do? Also it been over a month since our break up now.

[S.H]

Hey Mister Handy,

Thanks for reading my posts. And I am definitely feeling better. I still miss my ex from time to time but really you just have to accept the fact that the break up happen and it happened for a reason. All you and I need to do know is to know what cause the break up, and learn from it. Be a better person for yourself. Also give her time too.

And yea I’m still doing NC. Trust me, at first its super hard but you will feel better as each day passes. It will help if you go out more, hang out with your friends. Be social, meet new people/girl, knowing that love is abundant in the world. You love and you want your ex, but you dont need her in your life. You wont die because shes not going to be with you anymore.

All you can do is to be the best person you can be, learn from your past mistakes and you are already a better man. And being a better person is the best way to get your ex back. Heres what i understand after reading a lot about relationships stuffs, if you really love someone, even when he/she is with someone else you will wish them the best.Because all you want is for them to be happy.

I am taking this “opportunity” to be the best person I can be, and Im sure you can do it as well! Be positive! And like my dad always say: Be the best, do the best and let god take care of the rest!

[S.H]

Hi baseballguy1996,

thanks for reading! Im very grateful for your opinion. I have been thinking a lot actually after reading what patricia said. I have started to accept the fact that my ex may not be in my life in the future, and i know changing myself/doing everything i can will not 100% guarantee to get her back.

I’ve been thinking and reading a lot about how to move on/let someone go. And i read something, and it said Try everything, if you still fail, then move on. I know I have to accept the fact the my ex may not want to come back to me. But i also know that i still have strong feelings for her, and I know I’ll regret if I dont give it my best and try everything i can to get her back. I totally agreed to what you said. The day I give up hope, is the day I have no chance.

So I will try my best to be the best person i can be, and to try get her back. I know i dont need her in my life, but i know i’ll be happier if I get my last chance to proof to her that I’ve learned my mistakes and we are better than before.

Everything happened for a reason am I know that this break up is inevitable, it needs to happen so i can learn how to truly love someone…hopefully that person will still be my ex

Im really grateful for you guys help here, I’ll be sure to update you guys!

[S.H]

So heres a update… remember I sent an email a day after the BU? The email is basicaly saying how im sorry and how i’ll fix my anger issue, and how we should give it another chance etc….

Well, my ex message me yesterday and said that she accept my apology and that she is happy that im changing for the better and fixing my anger issue and grow as a person. She also said her flaws and that she will fix those too. She said she been thinking a lot since shes alone there and she said that some time even though people care for each other a lot doesn’t mean they are compatible. And she also said that we are too different and that she hope we can stay friends.

I dont know what to do now…does this mean i really have no hope of getting her back? NC may just make her move on! 🙁

[Author]

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