Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Thank you…. I needed that @anni I guess I just need to be strong and have faith.
I don’t know @Anni He sure acts like he hates me. I guess I’m proving him wrong by not being annoying but I have no way of contacting him anyway. So, I don’t really have the choice to be needy or not. He has a lot of stuff going on in his life, but I think IM the depressed one. Its why I was so needy all the time, I just got depressed a lot. *sigh* well… That doesn’t matter anymore. I just. I don’t know anymore.
I know I’m late to the party. I’m sorry. I didn’t read all of these, just the beginning post. So I’ll keep it short (or try to)
First, it sounds like she was lying off her ass. I completely believe it. She knew she had feelings for this guy right from the beginning. You confronting her pushed her further away. How do I know this?
Because she freaked out when you went on her messaging app.
People in relationships as long as you guys were in don’t just freak out over stuff like that. She was hiding something, guaranteed. All the sweet stuff that you did for her before the breakup didn’t have an effect at all. Because if you don’t think that she went and told him you tried going through their messages, your nuts. It gave him the perfect opportunity to make him look like a better guy and you look like an asshole.
But I think its interesting how the tables turned once you broke up. She didn’t know how she felt. That’s a good sign. It means she was doubting the breakup and she was probably having regrets. She probably started having them more when you were so supportive and there for you when she needed someone. I know NC is a powerful tool, don’t get me wrong, but every woman loves a guy who will be there when she needs something most. And you certainly were. She didn’t forget that.
Currently, she’s trying to figure out who she wants to be with. You or this guy. I know you went through her messages and everything but, you guys have history. You lived with each other and stuff. What’s this guy got? Literally. Probably nothing. Once the newness wears off she’s gonna feel bad. Really bad. I think the newness DID wear off actually, seeing someone hit the concrete from three stories high will do that. Its traumatizing, stuff like that. I think shed be pushing you away even if your relationship was perfect and something like that happened. Its all part of the healing process.
Anyway. My advice is keep in NC and just wait. I think she will come back eventually, she just has to get there on her own terms.
I think that’s okay to be honest. Its not like your breaking NC after only like 5 days or something. I think, under the circumstances, you’ll be able to get away with only having twenty days
I actually understand what you are going through. One of my family members has stage 4 breast cancer, its already spread and they are giving her two months. But anyway, I think you could go either way with this one. I do recommend you continue no contact, to show her when the time comes that you CAN get through something this big by yourself (independence in other words) but it is stage three cancer. If your ex and your mom knew each other, and liked each other (you said you’ve been dating 2 years) then I would break it to tell her. Its clear that she still cares about you, and I think that something like this might, in the long run, bring you closer together. Its a horrible price to pay, getting closer with your ex at your moms expense, but I don’t think anyone would blame you, not even your ex, if you needed a shoulder.
Of course 🙂 oh, and a little trick? When a guy gives you their number, repeat it back to them with one digit off. Sometimes guys are dicks and give girls the wrong number. If you say it with one number off from what he just told you was the correct number, and he says its correct, DITCH HIM. He’s a dick. Hahahaha, good luck to you girl! C:
@princesa
Thank you for everything!! :3 I’m in the same boat your in actually, I read your comment on your own thread. About pouring your heart out to him and such. Him not caring… Even though it hurts it feels nice to know your not alone. It feels weird to know that there’s someone out there who feels the exact same thing you do, and is going through the same painful process. Your a little older though lol, I wish I had the skills to get through a two year relationship hahaha. Thank you for all your words of support.Go out, have fun. Know that you look good. Now, when you talk to guys you dont know, think about it like this ‘Hey, I’ll talk to this guy. If he’s not into me, he’s a stranger, I’ll never see him again. If he’s an asshole, then he isn’t worth my time anyway.’ That’s how I keep my cool when I talk to new guys (and people in general). Just dont put up with any BS. If your really worried, rehearse a conversation with a good friend. Think of new guys like your friends at first, after all, their people too. Ask them questions. Show your interest. If he seems interested (asks you questions, checks you out, etc.), tell him you want to trade numbers. Put something cute and flirty in his phone. Have fun with it!
And MOST IMPORTANTLY, remember your not doing this to show him anything. Your doing this because YOU want to. That’s the only reason to do anything. C:
Thank you for your reply 🙂 I’m just not sure what to do to make him reach that conclusion. I dont want to get friendzoned either though :c I’m kind of in a pickle about this. But today he texted me and we were talking about his appearance and I think he expected me to compliment him and I didnt. He seemed really ataken back by this and i over think things to the max so I’m sure its nothing but at least he knows I’m kinda getting over him? I think? I’m soooo confused! Everyone’s telling me to move on…….
Do any of your friends know any guys? Maybe they can introduce you to some people. Or maybe you can go out, have a girl night. Dont even look at guys at this stage. Just focus on getting yourself back on track first. That isn’t to say, if you see someone you think is cute, go talk to him! Its healthy.
You dont know how to date… I think your better then you think, you maintained a relationship with your ex for 2 years. That requires some skills young lady c: But, maybe you can ask your friends for pointers. Ask them what they think you lack at doing. Take this as constructive criticism and work on yourself.
If you really don’t like going out at night anymore, you don’t have to. But I think your ex might be keeping other guys away from you at your school. This might be because he still has feelings for you or it might be because he completely trash talked you. I’m not sure. People might also not want to hit on you because of how long you and your ex were together. Its a small school, word gets around. I dont think that your bad at dating though. Is that the way your ex made you feel??
I feel bad no one replied to this sooner. I know how you feel, I’ve been there myself. Stuck and alone.
Now, I’m going to ask you something, have you tried putting yourself out there? Your 22. I know it might be hard at first, but when I was stuck (for a long, hard, 9 months) I met a guy named Kyle. It was through a friend. I hadn’t put myself out there, hadn’t met any new people until then, and I was shocked at how nice he was. His compliments made me feel good and warm inside, and I hadn’t realized how much I truly missed feeling that way until he came along. We ended up dating the day after we met (dont do that part). We asked each other questions and fast forward to this day he and I are inseparable. We are so close not a single person could pull is apart. And you know what? Were not even dating anymore. We’ve been on and off lately, but I know that I can always count on him, and that I will always have him as a friend. Now, remember that ex I was talking about before? The one I was stuck on for 9 months? I dont even think about him anymore. He was a complete jerk to me in our relationship and I was too blinded to see it.
Now, I know putting yourself out there is scary, but it’ll give you something else to focus on besides all the pain. I know the thought of getting close with someone else is scary too. Man, did it freak me out. But let me tell you, it paid off in the end.
It also sounds like, to me, that what he said to you really had a toll on your self confidence. So go spend some money and time on yourself! Go get your hair done, go get some new clothes. Feel good about yourself. You deserve it, trust me.
PS. If you do meet someone, you are going to compare your ex with the new guy. Some people think this is bad, but I think its really good! Your taking notice of things that are different, maybe this new guy has an attractive new quality that your ex didnt. Try to think positive, and no matter what, stay true to yourself. C:
